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  • brahmandjetr 39w

    Saturday.
    It's raining and I cannot help contemplating.

    @mirakee @writersnetwork
    next poem dropping in at 3000 followers

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    my depression.

    my depression is cocky
    even when i don’t give it the benefit of doubt
    it always gets the best of my naivety
    and taunts me, as it gloats

    my depression is inconsistent
    as soon as i develop a healthy habit
    it swoops down on me like the eagle it is
    on my unsuspecting squirrel

    my depression is mute
    no matter how hard I try to talk about it
    i’m always short of words
    all language seems to evade me

    my depression is sneaky
    it stalks me every second of every waking hour
    just so it can corner me unaware in dark alleyways of my mind
    to make me feel powerless when i’m alone

    my depression is turbulent
    on the days that i want to feel nothing
    it occupies my mind through and through
    equips me with the anger i require to survive

    my depression is permanent
    i’m afraid that my shadow is safer than i am
    at least it gets time off in the darkness
    that i unwillingly have to dwell in

    my depression is threatening
    to wipe me away like a stain that once was
    and it bothers me that i might just accept it as is
    without ever trying to put up a fight

    my depression is reckless
    it keeps reminding me that i have no value
    so i seek it in cigarettes, in whiskey
    and often in the beds of strangers

    my depression is cocky
    and i suffer through it every day
    in hopes of one day beating it
    i give myself the benefit of doubt

    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 44w

    Friday.
    A constantly numbing sense of fleeting nothingness.

    Follow @Brahmandjetr for more.

    #writerscommunity #spilledink #brahmandjetr

    @writersnetwork @mirakee

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    nothingness.

    all my life feels like nothing but
    a constantly numbing sense
    of fleeting nothingness

    while the truth lies in grey musings
    my life treads in black and white
    and hues of emptiness

    despair leaves me hollow
    joy hasn’t held my hands in millennia
    yet the show perpetually goes on

    what is purpose, if not just a word
    you might be right to inquire
    but an answer there is not

    must we all go on and mean nothing
    or is there achievement that keeps us complete
    an unwavering sense of eternal bliss?

    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 46w

    Sunday.
    Some people have so much power over us. What a crazy day this has turned out to be.

    @mirakee @writersnetwork

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    distant star.

    when you called i was doing just fine,
    i didn’t have much on my dreaming mind.
    because of the light-sleeper that i am,
    i couldn’t help pick up, when the phone first rang.

    i heard your voice and my heart flatlined.
    my eyes teared up, as i heard you cry.
    if i didn’t treat you more specially would i be a man?
    i really love you, more than you can understand.

    i couldn’t think too much, since we were acquainted.
    you’re so mesmerising, i might as well have fainted.
    i went to the one place where i knew i’d be heard,
    just so you know, i reimagined us being together, in the future.

    i really hate to hear it when you say your mind is tainted,
    because the last i checked, everyone’s uniquely demented.
    i have never felt a standstill, never been physically muter
    never nearly as close as now, have i been your suitor.

    i know i mustn’t, but i truly don’t know how
    not to think or wonder about your life now
    should i run again, away from everything that you are?
    if yes, then tell me, where should i go, and how far?

    i’m devoted to you, if you stood i’d bow,
    i would accept everything you’d ever endow.
    but i don’t want to suffocate you, i guess i’ll be just as happy from afar.
    maybe i’m meant to be an onlooker, and you a distant star.

    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 49w

    less than a lie.

    will you
    tell me how you are
    each morning
    if i asked you how
    you spent your nights

    if the foggy dawn
    blinds my view
    will you sing for me
    and assure yourself
    that we’ll be alright

    i know you seek
    yet i know not what
    why does this end
    if it did, never start

    can we
    break this silence
    between you and me
    doesn’t it kill you how
    we’re strangers no less

    if this jamboree
    unfurls itself
    will you let me then
    undo, this mess

    why do you seek
    to stab my heart
    why must this end
    before we start

    you make me feel
    what you make me feel
    i know more know
    what is real, what’s reel

    take my heart, you
    take my whole life too
    but once you’re through
    take my last breath blew

    i care too much
    and i love too hard
    i feel too little
    not to be a card

    until you stopped by
    i had my head held high
    my life’s now nothing
    more or less than a lie.

    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 54w

    the rest of your life.

    before you lies, what could be, the rest of your life
    caged, restrained, restricted

    but as hope would permit, the world will rely on you,
    you can turn this around by avoiding the mistakes
    your predecessors considered inevitable

    making a bad choice, which unthinking through
    was a conscious decision-
    profit and conscience were never directly proportional- this is knowledge that they possessed.
    yet here we are- a bat is consumed
    as an exotic delicacy. Sold, for a profit.


    ...
    a Mother would never have any of this
    when a child mistakes his providers’ love
    as permit to litter the house with remnants
    of his consumption

    his heavenly Father who art in Heaven
    hallowed be whose name whose kingdom come,
    whose will, be done on Earth as it is in Heaven
    who gives him, this day his daily bread

    will not allow for Mother to be tread
    and trespassed upon- a sin, unforgivable

    He will punish him as does good a Father
    to deliver him from evil-
    an evil, that makes him want beyond his need
    that fills his plates and quite yet never his greed

    Mother who nurtures him that he may eat
    has a threshold beyond his Father’s
    but she is weary too. For, even with hindsight
    it is her womb that he harvests still


    ...

    how ungrateful can a child ever be?

    ungrateful as we are to Mother nature
    whose resources we exploit
    everything we possess is but her gift
    yet, we’re blinded beyond reason

    how long will take us before we realise
    our Father, who art in Heaven has a threshold
    and this is the beginning of The Rapture
    He is afoot to salvage those
    whose dutiful repute precedes them
    when He arrives; will that, which before you lies,
    be the rest of your life?

    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 54w

    Saturday.
    I’m smitten, I think by the love bug I’m bitten.

    #inkheart #poetry
    #love and all that jazz.

    @mirakee @writersnetwork

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    hold my hand.

    hold my hand, will you?
    let me walk you through
    the absurdity that you’ll find
    running around in my mind.

    when i think of you,
    i think of beautiful things.
    cute trees, leaves, flowers
    and big birds with pretty wings.

    if i could write anymore,
    i’d write how for sure,
    about you, if songs were written
    you’d find out how much i’m smitten

    from the very first hair flip
    to climbing gates just because
    every image takes my breath
    and when i see you i pause

    i say, it’s your pretty smile
    placed between your pretty eyes
    your every whim and your sass
    that makes me drop my glass

    you made me my very best-
    a better man, i must test to be.
    i feel you’re my mind’s dearest
    that i, for so long, wished to see.

    but worried be not, friend
    until i make all the amends
    that you’ve asked me to make,
    not another step i shall take.

    you wrote me the cutest poem
    never had i read such words in my life.
    i just hope some day, i’ll just be good enough to ask you to be my wife.
    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 55w

    Saturday.
    I’m wrong. Or something is.

    @writersnetwork @mirakee

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    Why am I like this?

    my depression, it runs deep
    sometimes i wonder how rooted it is
    within my very psyche
    sometimes i wonder
    if i was born with it

    sometimes i wander into the labyrinth
    almost very well knowing
    where i am headed
    sometimes i wander into traps
    that i set in my mind to capture me
    when i’m down

    sometimes i light myself up and
    i burn down to my last carbon atoms
    and burn still, until those perish
    sometimes i light things up and
    i watch them burn
    things i built with my very hands

    why am i like this?
    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 62w

    but i choose to.

    i’m not baffled
    by the noise of the traffic
    i’m not fazed
    by the silence in my mind

    i’m not rattled
    by the pandemonium you thrive on
    i’m not dazzled
    by the sheen of your skin

    i cannot belittle
    your efforts to survive
    i cannot disparage
    your attempts to keep moving

    i cannot be flustered
    by your whimsical caprice
    i cannot be ruffled
    by your impetuous impulse

    but i choose to.

    your thoughts, your words
    your lies, your cusses
    your headlong ruse
    and your blithering incuses

    your kinks, your passions
    your notions, your urges
    your fickle idiosyncrasies
    as your eccentricity converges -

    i sit here unshaken
    as still as a rock
    unwavering, as i am -
    as you prevalently mock
    as you skew, as you hurt
    as you spew, as your blurt
    as you recklessly slew
    as your seamlessly avert -

    from my periphery -
    i continue to hold on
    as you assert that I must
    from your sight begone

    i shouldn’t have to break,
    but i choose to.

    so, i hope you see what you are.
    and, i hope you see what this is.

    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 63w

    Wednesday.
    Sometimes, you have to come back to relive all the good things you were missing.

    @mirakee @writersnetwork
    Show me some love.

    #poetsofinstagram #poemsporn #poemoftheday #tribeofpoets #poetryinmotion #writerssociety #poetryslam #wordsofwisdom #visualpoetry #poetrybook #writerscommunity

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    at a waterfall

    stillness will leave you

    you cannot rely on it

    the calm that you seek,
    while the decay that you reek of,
    is beyond you

    not everything can be water
    not everyone capable
    of fluidity

    sometimes
    all you can be
    is a rock

    you choose what you will
    between gravel, in the sand
    or rock, carved down
    by a waterfall
    as it trickles away
    carrying pieces of you
    that you will be better off
    without

    you don’t get to be water
    nonetheless, you let it sculpt you
    so you can sit by a drop

    and be admired
    for what you truly are -
    you are not yet water
    but you are still
    and steady a rock, at a waterfall.

    ©brahmandjetr

  • brahmandjetr 66w

    Let me know if you’d like to read the incomplete manuscript of the book I’m writing.

    “It’s weird” by Brahmandjetr

    #poetsofinstagram #poemsporn #poemoftheday #tribeofpoets #poetryinmotion #writerssociety #poetryslam #wordsofwisdom #visualpoetry #poetrybook #writerscommunity

    hello again, @writersnetwork @mirakee

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    Hello, again. 🌸

    Hi Mirakee family, I am back and here to stay.

    It’s time for me to introduce you to my new content. Tell me if you like it!

    Best regards always,
    Shivankur.
    ©brahmandjetr