_ashna_

youtu.be/nZsMJgWXb6M

if the whole world was watching, I'd still dance with you

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  • _ashna_ 2d

    @miraquill @writersnetwork @love_whispererr #mirror #pod ... This is a repost.

    TW: Eating disorders


    You are beautiful.




    Thank you writersnetwork❤

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    MIRRORS FRESSING UPON MY BODY

    When I look
    in the mirror
    I see myself
    entangled
    in a vortex
    as melancholy
    cries endlessly
    as my body screams
    I keep staring
    at my reflection
    my smile wasn't pretty
    and my jaw was uneven
    maybe if I hadn't eaten
    that fried food
    my face would
    have been clearer,
    my arms are huge,
    Perhaps I could
    stop eating lunch
    and dinner so I could
    look like the girl
    I saw yesterday at
    the supermarket.
    She had the prettiest
    smile and a beautiful body.
    my thighs are huge,
    Perhaps I could workout
    more or maybe I should
    avoid breakfasts,
    so I could be thinner
    and be popular
    in school.
    My arms and legs
    groans, but I cant
    stop then I couldn't be
    the girl I saw
    at school in
    the hallway
    with thin arms
    and a flat belly.
    I ate grandmas
    pudding today,
    so I could make
    her happy,
    but google said
    it contained a lot
    of calories, so
    I puked until my
    stomach felt
    like a cavity filled
    with burned butterflies.
    Yesterday the
    weighing machine
    showed I gained
    some extra,
    Oh, maybe I should
    workout thrice a day,
    Perhaps I should
    walk more too,
    So I could be like
    the girl next door.
    The measuring tape
    coils around my body
    like a blind white serpent
    with red eyes,
    Oh how beautiful
    that creature looked,
    if only it wasn't blind,
    it's suffocating me,
    I can't stop thinking
    about it, as it
    tries to feed on me,
    I feel trapped in my
    mind. I can smell
    my favourite
    pasta my dad ordered
    but I lied I wasn't
    hungry, so I could
    be beautiful,
    and maybe the
    the guy in my class
    would like me,
    if I looked
    like the girl
    on those
    magazine covers,
    Perhaps I will be b e a u t i f u l one day.

    ashna

  • _ashna_ 1w

    @writersnetwork @rish_jee #Datsuzoku read more one-liners under this hashtag;)

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    and the wild daisies bloomed beneath my grave
    as the candles wilted upon my gravestone like the dooms of our forever.

    and ever

  • _ashna_ 1w

    Pov: of a child who died during world war 2 in a concentration camp.
    My heart grieves for them.



    I wanted to write a longer version, but I couldn't write.

    @writersnetwork

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    graves of the w e e p i n g w i l l o w

    I stumbled upon hell that
    reeked of grief on a rainy day,
    as barbed wires kept scraping
    the flesh out of my hands,
    with screams and woes
    etching into the walls
    that remembered everything,
    we longed for a
    home that
    belonged to us.
    With striped rags
    everyone stood like
    the branches of
    a weeping willow staring
    into the voids as mothers
    were taken away from
    their children into a
    place where humanity
    was suffocated to the end.
    Carcasses lay with darkness
    longing for a grave with
    eyes that reminded you
    of a hell that once resided here.
    The lasting beauty
    of the snow as poets
    mentioned withered
    as I struggled to keep
    the coldness from
    stinging my heart.
    With a sunken stomach
    and a half paralysed body,
    I walked amidst
    dried branches
    of the weeping willow
    in search of warmth
    of my mother to a
    a place where
    humanity no longer lived.
    The world has blinded
    and deafened itself
    as they slept peacefully while
    sorrow knocked upon their door.

    ashna

  • _ashna_ 2w

    Just a rant, Will write later:")

    @writersnetwork #Datsuzoku

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    It's the red strings
    that keeps you
    awake at 2:45 am
    strangling you with
    the letters from
    your last lover,
    as life stunk
    of bitterness
    infused roses.

    ashes

  • _ashna_ 6w

    #nightsky @writersnetwork @miraquill #Datsuzoku


    يا قمر -My moon/My most beautiful

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    يا قمر
    As the day rebirths into the night,
    Will you wish to fall in love between the shades of sonnets under the tragic skies?

    ash

  • _ashna_ 9w

    Brown eyes in the daylight look like sunflowers dipped in caramel.


    ash

  • _ashna_ 9w

    You made dying look like happiness.

    ash

  • _ashna_ 9w

    You feel like melodies of a ukulele stuck
    in the rusted nooks of my heart.


    ~ash

  • _ashna_ 9w

    @xyz_asif Maybe one day everything will be alright:)


    #Datsuzoku

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    Maybe one day I would wake up and drown in chaos,
    just so I could feel the essence of living.

    ~ash

  • _ashna_ 9w

    @miraquill @writersnetwork #routine #wod

    I dont know if this is good��

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    THE EQUATION OF BEING ALIVE

    Insomniac nights
    bangs upon my head
    at 5 am as I keep
    hallucinating about you,
    as reality hits, I look
    around for the alarm
    in the voidness
    of sleep.
    And I watch
    the mirror shaping a
    reflection of a
    stranger that grieved
    to see herself
    again with black
    holes under
    her eyes struggling
    to swallow her soul
    like the monster that
    lived under my
    bed when I was five.
    As coldness hit my
    face like a broken
    friendship
    I wondered
    if I was doing the right thing.
    With numb legs
    and a half weeping
    heart I bow before
    God as warm tears
    fall upon my freckled face
    wondering where did it all go wrong?
    As the little voices
    in my mind command
    me to get up I struggle
    to bring every piece of art
    that was never sculpted.
    With a mourning soul,
    I procrastinate about
    the equation to find
    the position of a soul at infinity,
    turning pages, and solving problems,
    I keep stumbling upon
    the equation of dying
    as the world sleeps around me.
    But as I look up at the sun
    creeping behind me like
    the stab of Brutus
    I wonder was it all too unpleasant?
    And as I attempt to keep
    my procrastinating voice
    locked up in the 4th chamber
    of my heart I kept
    calculating the distance
    between you and the universe.
    As my mom's oven beeps
    echoes in my ear,
    I stand staring into
    the labyrinth as my
    body burns and
    the mirror fogs up.
    With wrinkled fingers,
    I comb my dull hair
    the way my grandmother
    taught me and I see the
    mirror shaping a reflection
    of another girl,
    the girl who mastered
    the art of failing.
    With bare soul,
    I go back to calculate
    the slope of my life
    as my athar scented scarf
    feels like hope and
    the smile on
    my dads face
    after work
    comforts my soul.
    I lay back again
    clutching my pillow
    wishing that it will be okay.


    ~we shall bloom


    ashnaa