its magical how quickly i grew, how quickly the human body hop skips jumps into adulthood hurtling forward, and how eager i was to run along with it without looking back. i look at you, you're taller now stronger (i lost at arm wrestling for the very first time last month) you don't make the same stupid jokes you used to, though we can still laugh at that time you fell in the driveway and i lugged you back up the stairs and convinced you tinkerbell bandaids would take away the pain. now your knees clack against the table and you hug my neck and talk to me about geography and basic, oh so basic trig and i feel my heart growing and tearing at the same time will it change? will we change? change is the only constant but not all change is good and it's this longing, this need that we grow into something sweet and lovely that scares me. expectations simply set you up for disappointment or thats what you told me the first time i baked (that cake was delicious and you know it, though youll never agree) but i care too much to not have expectations at all. i want you to grow into yourself grow into something beautiful and i want you to grow up on your own so i'll sit here and wait till your aching stops, and till you stop running and you come up to my little boulder and we can sit in the sun and sit in the rain and laugh about tinkerbell bandaids again.
The weight of years Pulls me down. I am young, Yet my feet drag with the mass Of a thousand years, A thousand scenes, A thousand acts, A thousand lifetimes, I want to redo. There is too much history In our words; Terrible, sharp and grating And all I want is to peel away the rust, To feel that smooth clear voice Ring in my ears, But it is now Nothing more than a memory. There are cobwebs between my fingers As I pick up your call. There are cobwebs between my toes As I open the door. They say experience makes you wise But all it did was make me tired. I unwrap the bandages Around my heart But they never end I do not know what to feel What to say What to do Maybe one day Maybe .