learning how to love myself~~

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  • _mysoul 28w

    Just a world of four walls,
    uncanny feelings, hysterically unknown self,
    and the same cup of tea.
    Tirelessly search the rudimentary base for living.

    Nothing beats this heart faster,
    as if it knows the commotion in its way,
    Unclear vision and the same ordeals,
    Is there any hope to this sinking existence?

    The roses in the garden, and the colour of this dress,
    loose its colour too.
    Faces that meant happiness, dont exist today
    The teary eyes have cried oceans,
    Is there any hope to this sinking existence?

    It is another same grudge,
    every other day, tied to my hopeless soul,
    Smiles that never costed a penny,
    today ask for one.
    Laughs that comforted yesterday,
    today search for a reason.
    These eyes that convey redness, talk more.

    Sugarcoat this soul, spoil it with love,
    spill sunshine to this dark home,
    just give it some hope.

    Another sinking existence.


    P.s. its been long right?

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  • _mysoul 32w

    I've grown up with just dealing things with kindness, and to speak up when you see things getting wronged. But they taught me to trade tears with beautiful sceneries and find escape in that plethora of soltitude.
    I even believed that.

    Wasn't sure if falling in love with something so passionately would let these eyes see it torn betwixt the lost chapters of want-to-live and want-to-die.
    I even believed I was wrong.

    Everytime I started to figure out the worst puzzles of life, they crafted my mind with just one answer, be the way T-H-E-Y want you to be, always justifying with words that bleed these ears till date.
    I even survived that.

    And even when this didn't seem enough, they tightened up to throw this little piece of paradise to survive more thunderstorms, probably some inhumane act.
    And they feel, you still are wrong, you do wrong, when you've survived hailstorms and didn't let these roots loosen the grip even back then, why today would you? It always started with them, thinking about how they see, how they'd act. Always compromising your presence.

    //Life isn't built up without catastrophes and a little bit of cold. But it isn't also letting yourself go through things that hurt your existence. Stand strong before the stars align you to collapse forever.
    I wish "they" know.//


  • _mysoul 33w

    Random cause thats all I have

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    Loving deeply is like,
    fragmenting pieces of your own
    Always asking for more.


  • _mysoul 35w

    (Edited from drafts)
    Random rants:)

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  • _mysoul 35w

    My Life's panorama.

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    I've loved the little aroma that has the audacity to lift up your mundane coffees. Isn't it?

    //Isn't it how we love to expect but rather nothing to accept!//
    Life, expectations and acceptance have always made huge contradictions to the chatter my mind invites.
    Its obnoxious how mouths full of flair invite you with a juxtaposing action. Like, everyone you know ready to comfort you with words but nothing in action?
    This makes me sob over ideally me trying to mend broken hearts with nothing but just actions, which never were traded but of course mistreated. We claim for, people not standing by our side even when we are not ready to accelerate it through acceptance.
    Neverthless, how you felt those chapters of life would stay forever are left back in ashes?

    How those everlasting pictures that were once your epitome of friendship is nothing but a memory? There is a million to feel, but a fraction of it to purpose.
    Likewise how we feel that something or someone lasted longer than our lost hopes?

    ~We feel, we expect, but rather fail to accept.~


  • _mysoul 36w

    Even at times when we dont want to, we come across acquaintances of lies? Pretty fun how we allow it skim through our honest skin.

    ~Its all a lies darling.~

    @writersnetwork #pod

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    She owns it like her catastrophe,
    and bleeds her wounds deeper at nights,
    She rests her ink on the domains of the owned skin,
    she still believes in falling stars,
    she isn't sly but hurt a gazillion of times.

    You wonder those pages,
    She left blurred,
    She witnessed it all and allowed it for once.
    But why did you?
    Why, you kept silence and served her lies,
    Didn't you see that in her eyes?

    She still looks at those empty skies,
    grumping for those wasted days,
    She carries her soul at the cliff, weakly tied,
    in awe, to serve those pretty lies
    aging a slanderous trust.

    But I wonder how long would she pretend,
    All she knows is,
    //Its all a lie even then.//


  • _mysoul 38w

    //Forevers are like buried petals in your old books,
    Irresolute yet appealing.//


  • _mysoul 38w

    I scampered oceans to find light
    In your materialistic heart.
    Wonder if I travelled too far
    in search of my lost scars.


  • _mysoul 41w

    Happy world art day! ❤

    (Yes that's made by me, my second oil painting on canvas.)
    Just wanted something to put up here:)

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  • _mysoul 44w

    I turned a blurred mystery back in my raw gardens,
    It took me a minute to hold on myself,
    What a jerky turn did my feet rest into,
    Would I just brag about the sand weeping in my hands or rather nurture the sapling of only hope that arrested my body,
    What was it?
    It has been 23.4 hours past it,
    I still am recollecting the bits around,
    A million miles of brokenness and a trillion breaths I revisited within the moments.

    After being 24 hours harsh on myself, I turned around and looked who and where I made myself fit into. It wasn't pounds of jealousy or lost focus. All it was just insecurity. Something to be deprived of, something to loose a feel of, a "high" or even that esteem.
    And I grabbed myself a cup of warm water and sat on my ramshackled chair, laid my head on the white furnished desk and rested my weakened palms.
    That moment had a momentum, it made me reciprocate a lot of things.
    The world had never seen it easy, never do I expect it would, it just taught everyone to be with the flow, to come and to survive; and in this battle of surviving we forget how much hollow the insight of a person becomes. Maybe it was you too today, being harsh on yourself; but in this battle of you and the world never stop plummeting against the odds.

    There are 1001 lies and a journey of discovering what people want you to become.
    Im still covering my wounds, wrapping it up in a blanket of the boundaries they admire me to be in,
    Finally facing the existing cultures of this adulthood, of how some unsaid words build a trash in your head.
    I walk past the road, sobbing with the only piece of torn handkerchief realising the testimony of this "Realistic" world.

    -A tale of a new period

    By Kashish.

    @writersnetwork #pod @mirakee

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    A tale of a new period.