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  • abditory 10h

    Dilemma of a cupid

    If he keeps running, she'll never catch him. If he stays, she won't even notice he exists. If he chase after her, she'll run away. And if she doesn't, he'll pass right through her.

  • abditory 4d

    So many shits to get off of my chest, to talk about.
    I feel like I am in need of covid to cough it out.
    I get off topic chasing clouds, I think and doubt.
    I sing they flout, the voices, they give me bout.

  • abditory 1w

    I wasn't aware of the ability I have of climbing until I hit the bottom. It took all my strength to look up but when I did, I saw there's always an option. It ain't really over until it's over. You know what I mean? I mean i found out that untill there's one last breath to take in. I am in the fighting.
    And sometimes it takes that last bit of energy you conjure up out of nothing, made of sheer will to not give up to change the course of the battle you are in. 

  • abditory 2w

    What you see around are the structures of the best version people construct of themselves and project out here.
    No wonder people struggles with self-esteem issues. People believe in this illusion.
    Beauty is in the eyes of a beholder. Remember, everybody's equally ugly. It's just hidden in what you don't see or don't choose to.
    Perfection is just a concept. We are all always a bit less.
    The trick is in being in peace with yourself, in accepting who you are and somehow finding a way to be happy with it.
    PS - What you feel about yourself matters so much more than what you seem to others.

  • abditory 2w

    I want to be great but the world wants me to settle for good.

  • abditory 2w

    Dear diary,

    I am not a bad person. But just when I let my anger out, I am evil. There's only few boundaries that I dare not cross. I am ruthless, petty, I am dishonorable but I am not who I am when I lose control. It's like being hit by a wave of emotions. All at once. Like all the pent up anger escapes from within and overtakes my senses. I hate it after the dust settles but when I am under its influence, I feel free. Like it's all I have been waiting for. Waiting to just let go. And even though I have always unconsciously managed to not lose all of my whole and cross the boundaries I wouldn't be able to walk back from. The part that gets possessed by overwhelming emotions always leaves enough chaos behind to add more fuck ups in an already fucked life I lead. Sometimes i wonder if this demon I keep locked up is who I really am. Am I really who I hate to be? But he ain't. He's just all the failures, knocked downs and fuck ups I suppressed pushing back. Only if I could have made all those I've hurt in the process understand. I am too worked up for amendments. If they could just know.

  • abditory 2w

    Life, it ends. You lose someone. Someday someone will lose you too. It's the circle we are all a part of. Nobody has forver.There's no way around it. People die, it's a fact.
    I know losing someone you love hurts like hell but some among us will die anyway. And it may seem like too soon or too sudden to you but someday you'll leave just like that to someone too. It's just how the system works. And this system may have taken so many loved ones from so many people's surroundings. But it cannot reach someone's heart. We stay alive in all the life's we touch. They may be not around but they are still alive in our thoughts. In our memories. They are inside us, guiding us. They shine through us as love, as inspiration. Nobody can take them from us, they're alive in everyone who ever loved them.

  • abditory 3w

    It's hard to get over somebody you love unconditionally, no matter how cold they act. You didn't expected anything in return anyway.

  • abditory 3w

    If am sad because you are happy. I ready for despairity and more for you to be happier.

  • abditory 3w

    Sometimes I consider introspecting for change but there's too much that I hate about myself. So I just choose to not give a fuck. It's easier that way.