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  • ade___ 4w

    Only after it was sufficiently filled
    Did I realise how humongous the void was
    Within me.
    And how unimaginably large you must've been
    To fill it just sufficiently.
    There were still gaps
    But I'd realised the void was gone.
    And we could've filled the gaps and cracks
    In this home of ours.


    But then you left.
    And left a bigger void.

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 4w

    It hurts
    And I want to hate
    But I can never take back the poems
    I've written for her.

    As if a being protected by my memory
    Untouched by the vicissitudes of time and tension
    I bet she isn't coming anymore
    And I can never call my words back home.

    They're free of me now
    Turned to fluid infinity mist
    I'm left to wonder now
    If it was all just smoke and mirrors then.

    My heart shudders into a vibrato
    And all my senses play to their instruments
    As my silent tears run in a solemn somnolent servitude
    Against the bars of our cinderous cage.

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 4w

    Kingdom of Graves

    I've built my graves in gardens
    Of maples and cherry
    And when Fall comes
    I want my frame adorned in shades of red and pink
    Of leaves and people who left
    Of cherry people I cherished

    I wish my rot could rise then
    And contribute to the falling reds.
    But the dead only decays downward
    And the maggots claim my maple throne
    After a battle of roses and rings
    For the million cherry crowns

    I remember once upon a time
    When you sat clad in maple red
    Upon my merry cherry heart
    Oh! what a Queen you'd have made
    Upon this kingdom of graves.

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 10w

    To the colour brown,

    And to think we're all bloodied by the same violence we've inflicted on others. How ultimately the bleeding is the same as the bloody on our hands and we're all sinned to a sense of extinction of the soul. I will have to cry- cry- and cry over and over again for only the salt of soul will hurt my wounds now and perhaps- just perhaps wash away these carved browned bloodstains upon my skin.

    I ask myself of the colour brown. The least symbolic of all of nature's colours. And why is that I wonder. Why do we dare not look down upon our Mother- down to the earth and dig our brains for answers. I think because all we see down there are all our sins and wounds. The soil awash with our browned blood stares back from the other side of death. How the only time we're clean is after we're ashes and dust- and all that blood just returns to earth. Home and hurt.

    Make no mistake- all of life is merely a continuing ritual of atonement through gratefulness. And for that I thank you- for everything. For all the hurt and home you've given me.

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 19w

    Morning Moorings

    The process of a room brightening up
    Skies getting bluer- a shade of yellow gleams through
    And a dash of orange rushes in
    I've been waiting for you to smile all night
    For so long and I lie awaiting your return.
    When you look at me with that bright half arch
    Arrangement of teeth
    Like the rising sun I've come to look at you
    With a kind of hope that brings me joy
    And I wish so much to touch you now
    Hold you close and wrap you in my arms
    But we're so far away
    That only light moors her anchors upon our shores
    And these gazes only make my heart ache
    So I try to sleep at sunrises
    And wake up when you're far up into the bright white sky
    Nearing noon and far far farther away from me
    As I care not to look at you
    And close all my windows shut.
    I keep me cold in the little dark you've left me.

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 22w

    [TW: rape; R rated(?)]

    This one's been a long time coming. I had this draft saved since early 2020. I was sceptical about posting it.

    But here goes nothing. I feel like I'm on the edge of something. And all my fears have disappeared.

    #writersnetwork #readwriteunite #rwu #pod #mirakee #writersofmirakee @writersnetwork @mirakee @mirakeeworld @readwriteunite

    Read More

    The Doctrine of Relapse

    No nicotine to go back to
    They were never there for me.
    No weed or certain need.
    Alcohol a luxury of this privilege
    Reigned in by my poverty.
    So what do I have to go back to?
    To fall back on
    My bad habits.
    This ugly hollow rears its horns
    At you. At me. At all of us.
    The one which I had lost for a period
    And had truly felt a little broken
    A small crack which I could not see where
    It's back now.
    The verses are flowing again.
    This sad hollow I nurture now.
    I keep it in sights. Never to lose it again.
    We breathe together.
    I tuck it in warm fuzzy blankets
    To make him feel special.
    Welcome. Home.
    We make the bed together
    Go out to get groceries
    Dine and do dishes together.
    I tuck him in warm fuzzy blankets
    Until they outline his skin.
    Cut off the air supply
    Choke and squeeze it dry.
    Rape the hollow in my heart.
    Every night
    Until it bleeds of verses.
    I have to show it to the world.

    We sleep then. At night.
    To replenish. Me on the bed.
    Him in the dark corners
    Of this bloody labyrinth.
    With chains like that of slaves
    For my dreams must not be scarred
    Or haunted by his filth.
    My stained phallus now clean
    His vagina now hollowed out
    Like a grave robbed of bones and ash.
    Trembling, crying until it dries dies up.
    The Monster. He's meek, mine now.

    I sleep in peace
    A happy poet.
    Bet you've never seen those before.
    Welcome to my art.

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 23w

    Memory of Broken Pine

    I remember falling asleep everyday
    On the commute
    Be it bus or train
    I slept through the sultry heat
    As the breeze washed across my dry skin.
    And somewhere along the way-
    Do you remember opening your eyes
    From a long hungered sleep?
    And how the sceneries changed
    From concrete buildings to pine trees
    From traffic horns to chirping birds
    From the hunting heat to the calming cold
    From an unencumbered loneliness
    To a heart full of friends.
    The music we blasted along the way
    And the smiles we shared
    All the promises we made to each other

    It all came crashing crumbling crippling down upon
    And here we are now
    Forgotten in tears and forgetting to cry.

    Do you remember the broken pine?
    The one we touched and carved our names upon
    And dreamt of a life of joy and love
    The one which we still carry broken pieces of?

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 23w

    I'm very emotional rn and I couldn't care less about the punctuations so.

    #writersnetwork #readwriteunite #rwu #pod #mirakee #writersofmirakee @writersnetwork @mirakee @mirakeeworld @readwriteunite

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    Memory of Dust

    Barefoot was a luxury
    I wear sandals now
    March the 13th, 2020
    Do you remember how you ran
    Leaving dust clouds behind?
    Left me coughing in the heat
    Smiling through the smoke
    I've come to miss the dust
    The coarse grains of earth on my skin
    And the way it all washed away
    Under the evening showers I liked
    To dance and get drenched in.
    We're all inside now and have been for a long time
    I have come to fear the outside
    And open my doors to anyone again
    I have come to hate the sun
    And fear human company

    Do you remember the dry and humid days?
    The junk food and cold drinks
    The way you chomped on ice-creams
    And blew on a hot cup of tea
    The traffic sounds and the carbon trails
    The glowing earth on the playground
    As you ran after stupid balls
    And all those dust clouds
    Now blown away by the stagnant winds
    Into the cold dark labyrinths of our hearts
    Where all our good times lie dormant now.
    Where I loved you and you loved me.

    Say, I ask you again.
    Do you remember
    The memory of dust?

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 29w

    Across & Away on the Styx.

    How do poets come up with such metaphors
    When your heart is broken to pieces
    And your spirit is limp.
    When the very thought of creation
    Makes you tremble
    Because you know you'll never make anything better
    Than the joy you had with them.
    All the people you ever loved.
    You'll never make anything more beautiful
    Than those connections
    And now they're gone and you're lost
    Back to your self that imagined these things.
    I've been trying for a while now.
    For suitable metaphors.
    And artistic connections.
    But I cannot shape this river any longer
    I cannot carve the mountain
    Or cut through the rocks.
    I can only let it flow.
    I can only let it flow.
    I can only let it flow.

    ©ade___

  • ade___ 33w

    This wasn't meant to be a poem. I'm just expressing my current feelings. This is just venting and I would've done it on a chat with one of my friends but they're all offline or busy so I just needed someone to listen.

    #writersnetwork #readwriteunite #rwu #pod #mirakee #writersofmirakee @writersnetwork @mirakee @mirakeeworld @readwriteunite

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    I have so much hate now
    Crawling through my veins
    Like pitch black factory tar.
    And I want to hurt the things around me
    Indiscriminately.
    I want to hurt the living and the dead
    I want to return all the scars on my skin
    Tear out the knives in my heart
    And return it tenfold.
    And I want to turn my tears into acid
    To burn everything under my eyes.
    I did not deserve this.
    I can hear all my bones twist and crack
    And my heart and mind
    Screaming into my flesh
    And it's time I shared this feeling

    I did not deserve this.
    I did not deserve this.
    And I wish I wasn't human
    Because then I really could exact my hate-
    My holy revenge.

    ©ade___