Grid View
List View
  • alijah62 22w

    You may not entirely understand this piece, it is straight from the heart and not a poem or prose, I just needed an outlet. #writing #Friday #TGIF #Saturday #reflect #poem #prose #sad #motivation #writeup #drama #play #Mirakee #Miraquill.

    Read More

    WEIGHT OF THE WORLD

    Sigh...
    Honestly, for someone who seems so confident, I struggle with a sh*t load of inferiority complex. I call it that and not "perfectionism" because I understand that nothing can be perfect; at least when it starts out.

    Lately, I feel like I've been riding on a wave of bad luck, nothing is just going right, not even the therapy I enrolled in. But luckily and quite ironic if not unfortunate is that I still know how to rely on my strength.

    I lost loved ones to my hesitation and fear, and my overbearing need to protect them, I've blamed God for what I couldn't control and what I could have, I've cried when I shouldn't and smiled when I should.

    I understand what it means to carry your own cross, but never really had to face the context until recently, a friend of mine told me about how there was no such thing as luck... He said

    "You just look for things to blame, you carry way too much and didn't realize you weren't strong enough to fight two major battles, one was for love the other was to survive... You lost cos you didn't share the burden and the person who could have shared that with you is gone, the weight is too much and you're sinking, so you blame God and pretty little, adorable lady luck"

    I am currently destroyed, but not requesting help, for some reasons, I know pain fits me, sadness keeps me going and anger fuels me, and that, that is enough for me till I can find someone to share them with.

    iElijah

  • alijah62 22w

    MOTHER MOTHER

    Mother! Mother!!
    Sweet Mother!

    I do not recollect the sacrifices, but you have always left me in awe,
    When I remember that I was once a babe, without speech and you understood me!

    Only you could tell when I was hungry, when I am feeling cold, uncomfortable and lonely.
    Sometimes I do wonder what magic you used to know what my feelings were.

    Mother! Mother!!

    Oh sweet mother!

    How did you do it? Putting me first and making the most of the day?
    How you prepared my now favourite food that no 5 star restaurant could replicate.
    Mother, you know better than the doctors, psychologist together.
    Even though we fight, nobody gets me like you do, and for that sweet mother, you're my guardian angel.

  • alijah62 22w

    IT HURTS

    It hurts doesn't it?

    When you decide to be something
    and life hits you with a different thing,
    After finishing your plans and
    Closing your eyes to sleep with the mind to start the very next day.

    Doesn't it hurt when you create and idea and it's better done by someone else?
    The inferiority complex that comes with a half done job, finished by another stranger.
    The feeling of seeing it better executed than you even dreamt of
    The dread of creating yet another imperfection.

    It hurts doesn't it?

    When everyone thinks you're perfect at what you do
    But you know, it could be better.
    Everyone pushes you as you're tired
    Tired of being told what to do and when to do it.

    But you know what hurts the most? Giving up and watching someone else live the life you could have lived.