#pod,#writersnetwork,#miraquill,#mirakee Keep everything that bothers you right now as simple as this...leave it. I know it's pretty hard to let go sometimes, but what's the point of holding on to something that bothers you? I can feel no sense.coz you got like only one life.so 'LIVE IT UP' coz you don't get it twice.let go of things that holding you down and enjoy the lil thingzzzz around you.you will be totally worth it.✨
You asked me "Do you believe in love at first sight."
I answered "I believe in love under any circumstance." (later you told me you loved those words)
you clarified "in love - i mean do you believe in falling 'in love' at first sight."
I replied "I believe in sparks."
your face lit up
"Sparks?" you asked
"Yes," I proclaimed "sparks and kerosene." looked you directly in the eyes smiled and added "wanna burn?"
we kissed (how soft this moment was to the touch) the cosmos slowed down i swam in its essence at a crawl devoured this sliver of time as it simmered almost at a standstill I uploaded it to memory my internal library one with shelves leather bound shards of experiences with strong spines one's could stand the test of time our sweet union warm lit now a part of me
you stole my lips bound to my heart as they are grazed against my waining restraint surrendering all reason i lost myself to your tender grip your gaze touched me deeper than anyone should be felt like a unique note of music heard once never forgotten
my wanting a whistling kettle a cool vapour of cleansing mist a burning desire to inhale your presence and never breathe again
from then on it was always us you you were always there
" Those days when i faked my smile to smother the shimmering pain, when a touch or a syllable held the prowess to summon back the hidden pain which threatened to burst forth with the slightest of provocation, when tears flowed unhindered no matter how much restrain i tried to impose on it, when I was ashamed to show my face in daylight for the fear of dark circles exposing my struggle, when i put instagram stories as an armour of protection against detection of manifestation of depression..."
Mental health being stigmatized, we still refuse to speak up and address the most concerning aspect of our well being, which deserves undeniable significance in shaping a sound mind. Admitting being a victim of bouts of depression and acknowledging the internal struggles which threatened to crush our existence and whither our souls is still a taboo and most of us step back from it for the fear of being judged and labelled as mentally unstable. Mental struggles are beastified and labelled inhumane, leaving it unheeded, to thrive in the lack of attention and concern it deserves. It's high time we step up and make a change in the existing predilection.
Having gone through a phase which marked a considerable transformation in me, i felt the need to share it with peeple who are ashamed and stigmatized for going through emotional and mental struggles. It's not a surprise how everyone often fails to detect the signs of depression and taken for granted that this will not happen to us. The onset was marked by continuous bouts of fatigue and tiredness which manifests itself in the irritation and lack of enthusiasm we unwittingly display, but often goes unnoticed. The progress was slow, but intensified by the obligation that burdens us, the way we are trained to feel obliged to smile and laugh, to act normal, like we have got it all together when everything inside is literally falling apart. Coupled with this is the fear of exposure-of being recognised as someone who is struggling to maintain emotional balance and a tranquil extraneous posture - which further darkens and strengthens the latent torment to tighten it's grip. Sometimes, isolating ourselves which can pacify the tempest which we carry inside us appears impossible since spending much needed self care time is labelled as selfish and inconsiderate, leaving us no space to breathe and pick ourselves up from the broken pieces which requires much tending and care to knit it back to thow it was. Spanning over two moths of intense period when i couldn't recognise myself, couldn't talk without breaking down commiserated by anxiety about my future as a student and mourning the loss of that happy soul which rejoiced in simple everyday things....everything triggered me and left me in a mess, which began to stink everytome i tried to get myself together and begin from scratch. The stinging feel that no one understands me further amplified the loneliness and a testimony of how a person feels lonely even amidst a crowd of cheerful countenances, laughter ringing merrily and mirth shimmering in atmosphere. I was numb to everything which brightened up my day before, numb to the sensations which i desperately wished i could experience, numb to the soulfullness of existence. It was a continium of crying during night, summoning the energy to act normal the next morning and again become emotionally fatigued and drained out upto the point where even talking left me panting and demanded a lot of energy from me. The pandemic induced lockdown have had a lion's share in this along with he failure of my family, even my parents to realise the seriousness of deterioration pf my mental health stirred me from within and the night where i can cry unseen and be myself became my most preferred time...
It's impossible to cage the magnanimity of what we all go through during the darkest times of our lives. I have been through this, and is still on the path of healing which presents me with obstacles that weakens my resolve not to stoop to the dominance of much familiar series of drowning depression, to be enslaved by the yoke of self destruction the depression have put me through...to get over this horrendous phase requires daily efforts to motivate ourselves, to remind of the potential we possess and indomitable will power latent in us..it takes everything in us..but once we heal, we will be everything we want ourselves to be : stronger than before, a survivor of the foreign invasion of disastrous force, a testimony to the attack of a mental epidemic which can be destructive on an unprecedented scale under unexpected circumstances. . . From, someone who dealt with her struggles silently and bears the imprint of pain and mark of the extremity of unknown battles...
In the end, i believe as in my case and everyone else's, 'Everything in the end will be ok. If it isn't ok, it's not the end'.
All who are silently fighting their own battles and trying to uplift others because you know how it feels to be alone in a mess and not understood when you desperately longed for understanding and silent support.
Please repost this if you rhink this will in some way or the other help others is all those battles they never talk about.