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  • barbietocatwoman 2w

    What if
    I had a million things
    I wanted to say
    a million times to you

    My words stick my tongue
    to the roof of my mouth
    like the words themselves
    aren't worth anything

    I couldn't be who you wanted

    Everytime I set you free
    I draw you back in
    my fear of being alone

    Or I just loved you that much
    so afraid to admit
    that I wanted you here

    You,
    and no one else

    The rest of the world doesn't exist


    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 4w

    you could try, but
    every word will taste
    like arsenic, which
    I'll gladly sip;
    give you some
    explaining to do

    I slink away
    from the aftermath
    no evidence, no body
    a guilty clap; memory
    of escapades we had
    and how you wish
    we'd never even met

    the note of falsetto

    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 5w

    A night so macabre
    Travelling blood across tiles
    I wipe the worst of the splatter, but
    Not even I can clear the prints from your mind

    If your thoughts are eating at you currently then your conscience still exists

    Mine was eroded,
    the first murder I got away with

    If you're thinking of calling the cops I promise you're gonna be locked up solo

    I have a little black book to rely on
    and you have nothing
    and no one

    Well, except me but I'm not much to go on

    Besides, I'm not the killer at present
    though thank you for my surprise party
    too bad you couldn't make it
    crime, alibi and all the..."things" you're covered in

    Did she really cheat though?

    No, don't even speak;
    plausible whatchamacallit

    Now I'll need you to step onto this,
    and strip down so we can complete the right of passage to getting away with shit


    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 5w

    As I sink beneath my grave
    The weight of my sins
    The pull of desire of my whims
    I look at you as I wash ashore
    Marble for eyes, coral skin

    Brought down to my knees; pensive, illusory
    My hands in your hair; the taste of your grimace
    The feel of your smile in my palms
    The world you deny freely...your heart

    The person they believe you hide
    beautiful;
    within and without

    That black hole that animates you
    I choose to inhabit, you darned wraith
    My brain you gnaw whenever you want
    And when I'm but a husk that you've devoured
    Please love the remaining pieces

    What am I saying?

    Better love them, succubus

    You fucking killed me


    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 7w

    Tell the tale, Succubus

    I don't know how to talk to him anymore
    I feel as though every word that slips will drive the weapon further in
    I feel as though the song will last but the friendship won't
    I learn to keep myself at arms length
    For not every boy is mine to own

    I despise the way the story repeats itself
    How I fall for the ones wrought with damage
    I hate myself for the sad eyes and empty souls...
    my heart it clenches
    stuck in it's clutches, my new home

    Leaping in bounds to save every fallen soldier
    Lending a heart, temporary
    a crying shoulder
    My light split in fragments for every stray
    I sit in darkness with none...for me

    I sing to myself in melancholy
    The burden of an empath
    Akin to none,
    the lie "I'm fine" in your eyes
    Seen only by a pain interpreter

    The bitter that I've been taking
    They can never belong to me
    So I return every stray
    where I found 'em
    Either in the arms of another or the streets

    The heart is a thing of futility
    I know now
    I wish we had been taught how to care for the most fragile organ in the human body
    Yet somehow the most proud

    Maybe then I wouldn't hurt the ones who seek the flame

    Maybe, just maybe, even one would call my name


    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 9w

    From something beneath me
    Something blue, something old
    Something light and breezy
    Here you are: right as rain
    Here to give me everything
    Down below, from up there
    Daring me to say a thing
    As up, down below
    Wait for me in the basement
    Where I left for you
    A dusty pair of skeletons
    Ink blot? Fashion statement
    I know that certainly isn't blood
    Did you do the thing...
    I certainly thought you did
    Okay then, bring the bleach
    Douse this whole area
    And rip the carpet clean
    And burn every expendable thing
    And pour me a glass for a job well done
    Go crazy on the frost, please
    All ice, no fire
    Yet another reason you love me


    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 9w

    You can't stop me
    from moving on
    as you tell the lies
    that rip body
    from lungs

    Amused; colourful
    and cunning
    not a trace of remorse
    to be seen, why I
    never sought you;
    you already made it
    into my dreams

    Kisses on the glass
    you'll never receive
    raise your eyes
    and take me in
    then watch as I walk away
    call me back, you won't
    you never cared

    I rewrote the story
    to make it seem
    like you were never there
    then wrote it again, for
    I didn't trust that you,
    the very worst of them
    would ever be honest


    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 9w

    I wake up in the middle of both night and day, incognizant of my surroundings, fluttering eyelashes trying to wake. Rambling about the most innate things while trying to splinter one thought from the other before they drag me under and my demons lie on my chest.

    I need to pee but I can't move. What the hell did sleep paralysis ever do to you? Absolutely nothing as that's not the thing to be concerned about. It's the fact that I'm immovable and my mind is stuffed. With thoughts? Of that I have no doubt.

    Should I manage to open an eye, I won't even see a thing. Blurriest vision I've ever had and I've never been to an optician. And don't even ask what happens when I manage to open both. Insomniac became a title and not just a morbid joke.

    I now sleep earlier than usual in the hopes that I'll get a decent night's rest. I figured it would occur as I'd designed since I now go to bed exhausted. Suffice to say it did not work. I still wake up violently, like someone has been repeatedly throwing me off tall buildings -
    might've been me. And I wonder someday if it'll wake up at all. Or fall into the irretrievable abyss within my sleep.

    If I die, when I die, the tears will not come. Less than ten people at the funeral would even know who I was.


    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 11w

    You don't need permission
    I will not be pardoning the one who can't even handle what's within
    What's that you ask?
    Toxic sludge and a hazard tack in the back

    Angelic Raziel in the way he arrived; all superior
    Cut them off: his wings
    He's not supposed to be here

    Freaky isn't it?

    Accidental

    Ya think?

    I know

    Does he know?

    Well, I know I don't

    Which is why they always seem to think to know the thing they don't
    When I show you the things you haven't even thought of
    And your mind let's run amok convenient thoughts to make room for the worst

    The son of the worst
    The daughter and the curse
    The cyst within your fucking thoracic whatever bone

    *sigh*

    Too much

    Ya think?

    I know

    Well, once again I choose to be blind while you judge me for what I am and what I'd do
    When I get my hands on you
    And do whatever I wish with you
    Lobotomize your brain, sip your pericardial fluid

    You require consent to commit an act you're not even sure you're capable
    Your fingers shake when they touch my skin, you know
    Your heart seizes like you've lost way, don't know how to breathe
    And your life for a half second flickers away...

    That should have been your first tell
    That you can't go through with it
    A little boy who voyaged to a place he shouldn't
    And if you have an iota of common reasoning left within that thing that gives you directives
    Then summon the courage to make your exit
    And never forget,

    that you were the one afraid

    that I was the one who stayed

    that you're the one who's hesitant to explore...with me

    and I never needed your permission

    you were only here cause I wanted you to be,

    fucker.



    ©barbietocatwoman

  • barbietocatwoman 12w

    By twilight,

    when dawn is far enough and the darkness calls and cupid takes charge of your life...

    for one split second; and you dare to dream of a different existence. A life that is the opposite of the one you've known.

    Then you remember the world ain't give a fuck about you when it passed these burdens for you to hold.

    So you lay awake every twilight and imagine the happiness you'll never have.

    Well isn't that a sight to behold.



    ©barbietocatwoman