The walls inside us are invisible but strong They whisper to us in our most vulnerable moments about boundaries we must never cross, formidable they stand promising to keep us safe from everything that can break us, Hardened by the scars that everyday life forces on us, we build and safeguard and finally fall in love with these walls that we slowly but surely build
I don't know if the walls that surround you today has been kind to you, and I don't know if the cup of chai that went cold while you had been busy, went into the accounts of everything you couldn't savour because you had been just too busy or simply too human. I don't know if anyone looked into your eyes today For longer than a moment because it mattered to them. The light you hold in your eyes. And I don't know if you decided to take up less space today because the world just felt too heavy to hold you, And I don't know if the blanket you folded mindlessly today morning as you went over your to-do list had more creases because you just couldn't understand where to squeeze in life amidst your long list, and I don't know if someone touched your life like it was the only meaningful moment of their day , and I don't know if you have grown too old to wonder at the absurdity of it all, life I mean, and I don't know if you are sighing right now because these words mean absolutely nothing or if you are smiling instead because despite it meaning nothing You know now that someone out there is just as clueless about the pulse of life beating within them as much as you . And I don't know if these words will be forgotten just as we all are bound to be but I know that in this moment You held it , these words, in your softly beating anonymous heart and for that reason alone , it is phenomenally fulfilling, the process of stringing together thoughts that Will touch the mind of another life That you can probably never know , but just simply embrace .
// A fairytale that brews within us smelling like the aftermath of a long war //
If capitalism wasn't a thing, and if you didn't have to pretend To know why you are doing What you are doing , and you didn't have to spend half your present moment thinking about everything the future possibly holds in store for you and the other half thinking about everything you didn't do right to be able to attain everything you are hoping to attain , and then you scroll through the smart device in your hand that offers you distractions and solutions to get out of this ever numbing race between the past and the future and you come across a man dressed in beige white telling you to just live here now, in the present moment , trusting the universe and all that other magical paraphernalia, and you follow the advice for a blissful few minutes before your body and mind which has been trained again and again and again ruthlessly but efficiently by the world to believe in productivity and race and competition and economy alone, gets back into reality And you fall back again into the world of climbing up your personal ladder to glory with effortless ease even without being aware of it because it is what tragically feels most familiar to you and then when your spirit is drained And you walk back to that nook in your heart That narrates to you a fairytale you can temporarily find solace in , instead of the reality That drills the fairy tale magic out of your blood and dreams, you sit quietly by the window, and listen to your heart brag about the magic that awaits you and you listen with childlike curiosity because somehow even with everything that has been robbed off you , you still believe in a miracle, in a miracle awaiting you around the corner and You somehow believe that if you just find The courage to find meaning in the beat of your heart instead of finding it in the identities that the Society carves out for you to occupy , you will be Able to wage your own silent revolution within your Ancient mind that has been trained to slave away for a cause that means absolutely nothing to the life in you and you somehow believe that if you just keep waging this revolution instead of falling prey to the promises of a bound society, for the sake of your own self, then one day you will be able to live in the present knowing without doubt that it is a present you are glad to be alive to because it is genuinely more beautiful than any fairytale you escape to in your spare hours. And you know it came to light because you chose to pick up the pen to write your own fairy tale, instead of easing into the story the world has written time and again in the blood of lost dreams and freedom.
@writersnetwork @mirakee Thank you for offering a space for so many fairytales to take birth. You are exceptional ❤️
It was half past three when we decided to vent our feelings over a video call, Half the day had passed already between the same walls and mind and chaos, and time had spilt through my veins like sand that I willingly let go of because the purpose of building a castle with it seemed pointless without you beside me to watch it get washed away by the ocean called life,
You were wearing the shirt we had purchased on the day we had roamed around the city with just a book of poetry, two cups of cold coffee and loads of anecdotes and silences and moments of unexpected togetherness.
I wished without saying that I could smooth gently that unruly crease on your shirt collar, while you spoke about the millionth online meeting you had just gotten out of, And you told me that you wished you could hold my hand while I told you about the way the sky reminded me of our love.
I could see that you hadn't made your bed, and when I asked you about lunch, you said you didn't remember much about it. It hurt me then most of all that I couldn't make you a cup of tea and make your bed and read you a line from gitanjali before asking you to come take a walk with me while we let the day fall away from our hearts.
It hurt me that distance now stood staring at our desire for oneness with so much alacrity and we had nothing to fill it with but our hope.
But at the end of the call, before asking me to stay safe and ending our brief rendezvous with a formal see you later, you told me that the next time you hold me against you, you would remember to hold me a minute longer , and you would never again take the moments we share together for granted for now you see that without it everything, everything seems bleak, and I sighed and simply asked you to smoothen that crease on your collar before you attend that meeting with your colleague you had told me about and you smiled widely And with that smile You held my heart instead of my hand and unknowingly, even with the distance and uncertainty lurking over us still , it all suddenly seemed alright for that single moment and I found myself letting hope dissolve the distance.
Let us take the Long road home today. Let us lower down the window a little lower than usual And let the wind dishevel everything
but our hearts. And maybe we could then play that song that reminded you of the time you held music in your blood like oxygen . And When the time comes for us to disrupt the awkward silence with our small talk, Let us bravely let the awkwardness rip the mask Out of our minds. And let us then wait for our love alone to replace the silence. And when you ask me if I remember when the world had stood still for A long time holding its breath, And when you tell me that it felt a lot like The world was hesitant to come back alive, let us remember to hold our hands like it Is all that matters and let us be grateful that It did come back alive, the world, in fact more alive than before, as though it had dusted off layers of ignorance for the transient beauty of life, and now it stood blazing with so much passion and vigour and hope, that we now didnt need to be reminded any more That To just breathe is sometimes all it takes to
And when we reach home late, let us take a moment to tell the world That she is beautiful. Maybe we didn't see it before, When we had rushed towards our destinations, Always taking the short route but now That we had stood still long enough and waited, for hope to make its way back home. We know now that she, the world is Worth saving And taking the time to get to know her must be our only real purpose.
the sun hadn't set yet when you looked towards me with that everyday glance Of yours holding a dried twig in your left hand To tell me that the world didn't seem to excite you anymore. I didn't look at you because You had more to say and looking at You would make us both pause at the absurdity of our untold grief tumbling out Like uncalled guests in the moment. But there is this urge within me to live, you see. You went on. I don't know where its roots lay but during those rare moments When I declare that numbness is what I am destined for , I see my old father pick up the weeds in our garden like It his children he is tending to or I see my mother run her hands gently through the Fur of the cat that follows her around Or I see how life fits into Each other like it makes no sense alone because it never was meant to be a lone creation Because togetherness was its only purpose And, And I see how it is all chaotically entangled like it is an endless story With a verse we each contribute , A verse that really holds no meaning as such Unless it becomes a part of the whole story.
I looked at you as the ray of the setting sun Illumined your face that was lit with love, And
I couldn't comprehend how you always started with the absurdity of the world and ended it with the meaning of community. Like your Heart held a cosmic ache to be held . By everything. I looked at you with awe because in this moment my life had just one Meaning and that was to simply sit next to you and listen to you talk about life with its black and white shade merged into a seamless gray love.
And while the sun set and we managed to speak our way into peace, I knew that the sun sets every day like it Needs to surrender to darkness to Find its way again but the light in our hearts, That,
That will stay alight Until we see how Life is Here. Amidst and in and because Of us. And in oneness lies its Profound Beauty.
//" It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society"- Jiddu Krishnamurthy //
So when the day is done and you have survived through the hours : Half mindful , Half unwilling, And you are Lying down in your not so freshly made cot In your dimly lit room Staring at the ceiling occasionally And occasionally filling Up the leftover of the day scrolling Mindlessly through the entertainment Your smart phone offers you, Trying to desperately gobble it up like it is what sustains your heart, What really does it mean when you reply with a fine followed by A smiley when your friend Unwittingly asks you, How are you faring? Does it mean you have settled for the plainness Since you have accepted it as a fact that Life, yes life has to be this. This script that repeats itself to death. Maybe you have taken survival for life. Maybe that is Where the world has pushed us To now. But in The rare moments when you are desperately trying to Make up for time spent fighting a war in the light of day With the peaceful numbness of the digital screen, And you happen to come across Your heart telling you that , I am tired, and this is just so wrong, Please Don't numb it with self-love or positivety, Listen to it, for it may be telling you The truth, that this cannot be it, and whether reluctantly or not, ask yourself If being alive is just this, Or if it is a lane you have forgotten to take because the whole world was walking on a different lane and asked you To follow simply because it seemed rational. And you followed because it seemed Less lonely And sane .
And finally ask your crowded mind, if rebellion is the cost you Have to pay for Being alive, Why be afraid, when life is
1.a vast field of love that is free 2.a brook of acceptance that life changes. 3.a hill of realisation that we can be broken. 4.a sky of empathy that has no trade value 5.a blanket of curiousity for our own pulsing desire 6.a heart of gratitude that does not carry remorse. Mix the field of love with the brook of acceptance while trying to sift through the noise in the mind. Gently place the hill of realisation in the field despite the constant nagging of the world that asks you to believe only in perfection. While letting the hill settle into the field, stir the sky of empathy into the mixture with gentle understanding that we are all beneath the same blue unknown reality. While covering the delicious mixture with the blanket of curiousity remember to tell your self that there is still a lot of life left inside your heart, to be alive for despite every circumstance that makes you believe that it might be the end. And in the end , never forget to sprinkle the heart of gratitude for without it everything seems without a purpose really. Now place the field in the light of your awareness and let it sink in. When it sinks deep inside the cracks of your hurting wounds, let out of a sigh of relief and thank yourself for having the kindness to feed your own aching soul. And When your soul is fed, remember to serve your love and kindness to the hungry world too. You will realise that doing this heals your heart faster. Because in the end, we are all just aching to be fulfilled.
My grandfather was sixty years old when he told me that he had never once told grandma that she is the apple of his eye. Why declare love when it Can be felt he said. I wonder What would grandpa say now when so much is declared but very, very little felt? He would probably ask me to look more deeply. But how would I tell him that the world prefers blindness when it comes to truth And love (both being Synonymous)? So if grandpa tells me to look deeper I would
Tell him that I don't know grandpa. I don't know how to look anymore.
Grandpa I know will then ask me to have faith in the universe, the same Universe that lost its sanity in the big bang just to Know what a pulsing heart eager for love would feel Like. And then I would reluctantly say, Grandpa but what if having Faith seems naive to me in a world that is moving towards A reality where love too could be automated? Grandpa would then sigh at my foolishness. And my near sightedness . And tell me that even today
even after he has left the earth grandma is the apple of his eye, because even Death failed to Take his love away from her even when his heart stopped beating. And I would Know he is saying the truth, For even today within grandma's tear I feel his smile. And his undeclared alive naive child like love, And so just for the sake of that timeless love I will feel, look and even have faith even if It would be really foolish to do so . For why not have faith in that which remains unmarred By death even? Love I mean.
I am not going to assume who you are and what you are feeling within yourself in this moment. I don't really know if it is joy that life has offered you today or if it is grief that is making you question the purpose of life today. I don't know what your relationship with life today is and I don't find it right really to intrude. I don't know anything about you and that is why writing this to you feels like a beautiful undertaking because our relationship is not yet marred by a heavy dose of expectation or nostalgia.
I am guessing that maybe you want me to tell you that it is all going to be fine? This our lives I mean.
I don't want to. I really don't because you would have heard this too many times and now I just want to tell you the not so poetic reality of life just as I experience it every day in between the rare moments of glory. Maybe then you can know that we, you and me are not so dissimilar in our extremely Ordinary lives which connects each of us in the most extraordinary way possible.
You see I walked my grandfather to the clinic the other day. While walking to the clinic to get his old heart checked I saw a girl holding onto the strong shoulder of her grandfather while alighting her school bus and I held onto my grandpa's hand a little tighter wanting his heart to live on for ever you see . For my sake. For the sake of my relationship with him. For love. I need his heart to keep beating. And grandpa just smiled in his ordinary way and I had to make do with this small mundane gesture.
Today I received a call from my best friend that she will be shifting to the other side of the world for her higher education. Now how am I to handle this? The one with whom I had been my most goofy vulnerable self had decided to freeze that version of me within long distance calls. And in the most ordinary way she said that we will learn to make the distance shorter through the digital world . And I had to make do with this assurance.
All I am trying to say is that life is not that poetic.It really isn't. It is bare, it is vulnerable , it is open to errors, it is just what it is. And yet when you come to think of it, it is life too that gave me a grandpa with such a vastly kind heart even if it has grown old now, it is life which gave me a friend I am willing to time travel for. So I guess in the end , life is ordinary but that is exactly what makes it so beautiful. That something that is so beyond our human understanding Can be so ordinary in its essence? I just don't want to tell you that life is going to be fine you know? I want you to know that Life is going to be everything. Fine, not so fine, ordinary, extraordinary. And that's why you are so lucky to be Living it. Because you get to experience Life in her entirety.
And It is my only wish that you come to have such a deep relationship with life that you embrace her in all her shades and even love her more for it. Through it all. The ordinary And the extraordinary.
The rainbow flag is a symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT) and queer pride and LGBT social movements. Also known as the gay pride flag or LGBT pride flag, the colors reflect the diversity of the LGBT community and the spectrum of human sexuality and gender. Using a rainbow flag as a symbol of gay pride began in San Francisco, but eventually became common at LGBT rights events worldwide.
Inspired by my daughter who is completing her masters in women and gender studies .. she's awakened and enlightened me to a world that we deem different but so deserves to be one with us ❤️
Refer - nine yards of grace - is an Indian attire called saree worn by women vermillion dot - is a red hued dot that adorns the forehead of most women in India
It's December already and the streets like usual packed with shopaholics and there is plenty for the eyes to feast on, like the flickering street light and the shadow of the frail rickshaw puller that wavered as he pedalled up the street.
The mindless honking of vehicles caught up in the slow moving traffic, the haggling between the street vendor and a middle aged woman over the price of fish, despite all the commotion one could hear even from a far distance, train announcements that reverberated across the street.
The street was bustling with people and the vexations of everyday life and somehow the chaos is an antidote to my loneliness for even the chaos is some form of life; it finds a way, it thrives.
//When you said I will never be your vegetable because I think when your're gone, it's forever// - Chinese satellite by Phoebe Bridgers
She wishes to emulate the Koshi river the day when she would be on the cusp of adulthood, steadily making a transition, hoping to pull off an effortless butterfly stroke away from the austere teenage that had her in its clutches; a rebel in the making.
She wishes to swim across this river that she once fancied some day, far away from the shallow and she will know that her time has come when her soul and the shore would only be an inch apart, and she would frantically drape the waves around her shoulders and close her eyes while on the cusp on infirmity; an unconscious rebel with a fist in the making.
There is no reason to live and no reason to die. There is no meaning to my existence Or yours, if you want me to be honest.
I can feel my existence, parts of it, from the first memory of a child to some memory of a work I had to complete before I started to type this on a screen. Where do these thoughts come from, I wonder?
A neural network simply spitting out word after another without a rhyme to make sense of this world that feels so personal or something I do not know how to imagine?
Perhaps, my brain cannot make the chemicals to compute the right answer. How do you know the difference between the right answer from the wrong one? Is there a difference at all? Our morality is simply the conditions that we've found useful throughout our evolution to ensure the survival of our species at large, isn't it? There is nothing divine about it, some chemical dictating what you are.
Maybe some chemicals are tricking you into these loops that never end, thoughts that never lead to an answer but contradictions. But these thoughts are yours, aren't they? You were supposed to be the one making decisions, the master of your own free will and your thoughts. What happened then? Why is it that you cannot stop thinking about the meaningless of it all? Why is it that you cannot escape from the stress, the lows the blues the misery, that random nihilism that hits you when all you want is sleep? Not a hug, not a conversation but to simply sleep, shutting down the thoughts the way you killed the machine with a click.
We act as if we are free as if there is a divine touch, a purpose, a meaning to these thoughts that randomly appear. It is hard for me to believe in free will in the sense that we've been told. We are never really free, always bounded by some simple chemicals, a simple probabilistic distribution of the existence of some particles. Some days you feel the high, some days you're never really sure about who you are anymore.
But why do I exist? Why do these thoughts exist? Why anything exists at all? Why is there something rather than nothing? Or is it simply a game of life simulating the game of life? A simple automaton that moves from one state to another.
Maybe I should correct myself. There is no divine meaning to my existence apart from the simple evolutionary learning where nature learns about the best traits that it finds suitable to survive in the physical system that the creature is embedded in. It gets passed down from a generation to another to another till it goes extinct and all this starts again. A mere learning algorithm inside a physical system that it can barely comprehend but stuck in an illusion of self and free till the inevitable end, dreaming of heaven that never arrives.
I suppose you will have your own reaction towards this existence. Incomplete, inconsistent; Explanations and contradictions branching From one to another.
//These are what they call hard feelings of love when the sweet words and fevers all leave us right here in the cold// - Hard feelings by Lorde
I believe, people tend to remain a child at heart for the rest of their lives because the world can only thicken your skin it cannot alter your heart and thence we meddle with feelings purely out of innocence and curiosity, we all are fickle-minded, we burn our bridges without thinking twice and forge new relationships in a heartbeat.
I believe, friendship is a cobweb of emotions, oftentimes only skin-deep it's a tavern where you embrace your eccentricity and unconsciousness while in a drunken stupor and maybe every friendship is bound to collapse like a house of cards, a change of mind followed briskly by, a change of heart.
//Maybe that's what life is... a wink of the eye and winking stars.// - Jack Kerouac
When I step outside my house, the sky seems to be at arm's length and I wonder if the clouds would ever embrace me out of the blue, then to people who keep me at arm's length, the clouds would appear to be closing in on me, out of the blue like a thunderclap.
When the rain falls, when the leaves rustle and when you stand sure-footed beneath the rumbling thunderclouds your mind thinks otherwise perhaps the light drizzle is another form of life that tiptoed out of the heavens and away from the mundanities of life and crashed into you, like a thunderclap.
I'll write summer songs along my bones to carry her to a world where lyrics won't hurt but teach. I'll let her watch how buds bloom to make her feel growth isn't a journey to a haunted beach.
I'll sit by the buds cheering them, saying they are beautiful no matter what shape, size or colour may be. I'll let her know that men, women and non binary are pillars of a civilization and that a castle won't last without any of them.
I'll let her know that beasts aren't the norm and they deserve to stay who treats them no wrong I'll let her know love isn't calculated it's a wine that lifts their soul and gets better as time passes by. For all that fades with time aren't true emotions but silly desires.
"And I can be all the things you told me not to be When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing And he see the universe when I'm the company It's all in me. " (God is a woman) ~Ariana Grande
Bg - One picture is mine, rest are from pinterest. I made a collab of all :3 -.-