Miraquill
Question:
Are there any Spanish-speaking pleople on here?
bel_gonzalez
I write thoughts and occasionally turn them into poems and/or songs. Follow me on Instagram @bel._gonzalez
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Desire
O v e r t h r o w s
Decorum
©bel_gonzalez -
Stars
C a m o u f l a g e
Our motives
©bel_gonzalez -
His eyes
D i s a r r a y
The world
©bel_gonzalez -
Why I'm still wretched -again-
after all the paths travelled;
Why the knot in my throat still
follows me, sneakily.
Lost and
deflated
I've gone numb again.
I'm a loser; in yours,
I see my mother's eyes.
My past bites,
burns our feet
as we walk this sand;
You hold the tip of my finger,
half curled, around yours
And we smile awkwardly
or politely
or blindly;
and we fuck angrily
or fearlessly
or anxious, to feel alive;
Are we empty or starving
or running?
Is it us or the voices
within or
around us?
I fell in love over
a weekend,
in a past life;
I thought I'd
use you, but you used me
more effectively.
Do you get high off the venom
that you're spilling?
With a toe in your mouth,
you look content
and bitter: you're a proud victim;
We're stuck-
©bel_gonzalez -
bel_gonzalez
197w
I cry, cry alone
In my cave
All of my humanness out
I'm but an empty
Disposable body
For the next wise man
To come around
How long have these tears been
stacking up?
Did they hide under all
The parties and lovers
Is this why my feet never touched the ground
On time
Joy falls through my hands
Like running water
I'm never prepared for the next
never aware
while it matters
And I don't remember if I was ever
Just happy
Seems like blinded romanticizing
No matter how sunny, how pink the glasses
It's always me
©bel_gonzalez -
I usually handle knives
Carelessly
But this one's looking
like a murder weapon
Beautiful
Do you think it'd hurt if
I cut my skin?
Do you think the scar would
Give away my pain forever?
©bel_gonzalez -
bel_gonzalez
197w
With only the warmth
Of a coffee
Or tea,
I roam through mornings
and evenings
... Afternoons;
Unheard,
Unseen
I'm a ghost
I'm haunted
By the ones
Who see me
And my own
Memory
If only silence
Was silence alone
And not
Neighbors and
Sirens
And cars honking
If only, one could
Be alone
Instead of lonely ;
Disillusioned
In a city full of
lies and not
One believer
How stupid of me
it was
to think
I'd be something
Other than this.
©bel_gonzalez -
bel_gonzalez
198w
The satisfaction of hunger
And other oxymorons
Like Cobain; the comfort
In being sad
I get it today
Nowadays better
than before, too well,
These realizations
Take away
The freedom of surrender
And self-pity.
Self-destruction becomes involuntary
And invisible
Ordinary and
unattractive
As I am, in this state.
Wisdom - maybe
Fulfillment; never.
Once again, that old feeling
I thought I beat
Long ago...
I'm a piece of shit.
In a city full of strangers,
I'm the one I picture naked
Every time I'm one of them.
In a world where I don't
Want to be
Every blessing is
Mockery,
Life's irony.
I'm a loser with potential,
They said
So much potential
But isolation is
My only home;
Like a womb
Tumble down these
White walls, close the shades
To keep the eyes out
But it's me.
©bel_gonzalez -
Maybe I don’t want to
Get better
Maybe I don’t want to
Be sane
As long as it goes
Mostly unnoticed
As long as I look ok
Maybe this makes life
More bearable
Intensely
Disoriented I walk
These streets
Like a ghost
haunting
The ones
Who see me
The ones
Who know me
Becoming strangers
As I become
My darkest thoughts
Most twisted secrets
Burn eyes
Like lemon
You arm yourself with
Trends and
Disdain
Running in packs
Fitting in
was never my intention
Got no ambitions
Defined by you
As valid
Vapid
The tub you bathe in
I’m walking barefoot
On your shattered crystal
Clear
unconscious conscience
All what we see
Stacked up
Evaporates
Clouds up the once
See through walls and ceiling
The boundaries
Set up by
The ones who taught you
To be ashamed
To be
contained, contently
we swallowed
Their unwholly knowledge
Got bitter words
hidden
All under my tongue
The men that have loved me
All know what it tastes like
It spills out gradually
Religiously
Inevitably and none of them
Ever
Wanted to get better
Together
We thrive in the mess
We make
We make love
But it’s loving
We can’t take
The alms
Of good people
made to break
Are their rules
And my heart
And maybe
That’s how I like it
©bel_gonzalez
-
athousandeclipse
237w
The bubbles slipping down my throat.
Outside the glass window,
There's a fragile world of promises
And the sky,
A canvas painted purple,
Streaked with pink
And white dots.
The fiery sun in the east
Competing with the moon in the West.
One intensifying, other bluring out. -
athousandeclipse
237w
And then I hear the screams of expectations
And the shouts of responsibilities.
The room felt tight
With the thoughts overflowing the brim.
It's another day
And I have to live.
-disha -
venomous_candy
238w
Destruction
Apprehensive happenstance
Incredible intricacy
Watch it all unfold in a disaster
All the pieces come together
In the most destructive way
Laws of physics, bend and sway
You cannot take your eyes away
Such beauty in the moment, though
You know it's bad overall
Why am I like this?
It makes my skin crawl
Feels so nice, to be a witness
Knowing none of it could ever touch me
©venomous_candy -
Depth
A digital no man's land separates us,
Eagerly bridged by phones and unspoken truth.
I sleep while you stroll through your reality
And my early mornings await your late nights.
Time tumbles.
Seconds and hours define distance
More than miles ever could
As the sun and the moon
Seem to hold hands daily.
You rise as I fall.
You shine while I merely reflect your light,
And everything seems to predict a smile.
This is the balance of us.
We share two one-eyed hearts.
Finally able to see depth
In a horizontal world.
- indranildutta -
Smile
And after you've swept galaxies
From your dusted dreams
And clinked your glasses to rusted feats
Catch the sound of your heart drumming
To the one song you keep humming
Remind yourself that love exists
If not in humans, in empty window seats
In the world outside through the glass
In prayers of the better class
©laxitha -
bethybooo
239w
It comes in waves. Missing you. Loving you. Hating you. And tonight it's all three, all at once.
-
venomous_candy
241w
Cynicism
Everywhere I look,
I only see flaws,
Nobody is perfect,
That's for sure.
Still it makes one wonder,
Is anything worth fighting for?
When you know it's all for nothing,
You needn't ponder very long,
It's as sure a bet as ever,
Nothing ever changes,
Some mirrors are meant to lie broken on the floor.
©venomous_candy -
kabirsrivastava
245w
I never found loneliness, loneliness found me. She found solitude in me, I found happiness in her. We both are one and the same. Destined to walk hand in hand forever through sands of time.
Kabir
©imkabirsrivastava -
prateechee
240w
Red
Red is the agony that bleeds
Red is the desires freed.
Red is the love that grows
Red is the autumn wind that blows.
Red is lust of power
Red is the feared hour.
Red is the burning life
Red is a monster's knife.
Red is the beauty incarnated
Red is the evil dark shaded.
©sugar_and_more
