blue_lemon_writes

instagram.com/blue_lemon_writes

• belle âme • Thank you Universe :)

Grid View
List View
Reposts
  • blue_lemon_writes 4w

    ��

    Read More



    He: Why do you stare at me a lot?
    “ I like to admire what's mine",I replied.

  • blue_lemon_writes 7w

    Excerpt from my journal.

    Read More

    It was another usual night. I was lying on my bed, eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. Mind lost in the thoughts of despair. I opened my YouTube search for guided meditation and tried focusing on my breathing with closed eyes. But all went in vain. I couldn't concentrate on anything except my poor fate. Is there something wrong with the alignment of my stars? Why am I such a negative overthinker? Why does nobody understand that it's not in my hands to stay calm and positive? The people who showed their immense love in the beginning slowly drifted away when they saw my irritating behaviour. They still say that they do care for me and are there for me always but their actions don't match their words. They start parting their ways when they see I start expecting too much from them. Is it my fault that I am so sensitive? Is it my fault that I have trust issues? My past experiences are at fault, not me. I am tired of struggling with my thoughts. Sometimes all I want is to sleep and never wake up. But when I see my parents all I pray for my long life. Because I wanna do so much for them.  My kind heart becomes my weakness. People take me for granted when I open up my heart to them. Sometimes I think it's my negativity that makes people slowly go away. Positive affirmations, gratitude journal, mindfulness, meditation, self love all these are tools with which I can manifest my desired life. But still it's really difficult to change the old conditioning of the subconscious mind. But it's not impossible. I have to do this. Universe has my back. Lord Shiva is with me. All angels' blessings are with me. With the law of attraction and self love I can change my entire life. I am a magnet who attracts love, happiness and positivity. Thank you Universe.
    ©blue_lemon_writes

  • blue_lemon_writes 7w

    But my love for him remains constant.

    Read More

    When my favourite person doesn't reply me on time, the temperature of my overthinking increases which decreases the relaxation time of my patience and the resistivity of my trust issues increases.
    ©blue_lemon_writes

  • blue_lemon_writes 9w

    Do u believe in law of attraction?

    Read More

    “When we surrender, we allow the universe to work its magic; we say yes to infinite possibilities; we trust that things will work out as they are meant to; and we give ourselves permission to let go of the outcome.

  • blue_lemon_writes 9w

    Rant.

    Read More

    Sometimes it becomes so difficult to decipher your feelings. The anxiety crawls up your head late at night and overthinking starts singing lullabies in your ears. Your self assumptions dancing inside your chest and pulling the wrong chords of your heart. They trick both your mind and heart, making you believe all those lies that don't even exist. And when confusion joins them the demons which are resting peacefully under your bed wake up and start patting your head. The negativity starts biting you at places where it hurts the most and the dilemmas add fuel to the fire by licking it off. You don't know where to go and whom to talk to in order to get rid of this exasperation. So you clutch your pillow, bury your face and yell. You yell until these demons become deaf with your screams. You cry until your tears soaked eyes become dry.  You cry until your mind gets exhausted and unable to think anything. You cry until you get the clear picture of what to do next. 
    ©blue_lemon_writes

  • blue_lemon_writes 10w

    //Baby, Come, stand by my side

    Come n be my guide in life

    O i will be what you want me to be

    I will give all my love in whole of my life.//


    You made my heart skip a beat the night you dedicated this song to me. It was another normal night where we were discussing our favourite songs. You sent me short clips of your favourite songs and I thought Soniyo song was one of them but suddenly you texted this song is for me. I couldn't believe my eyes. But you keep on saying that each and every single word is for me. You wrote in bold letters that EVERY DAMN WORD IS FOR ME. And I was like what should I say now. You made me speechless. But after a few minutes of our conversation when I said I don't love you,  you said that the song is for your woman. How can you dedicate this song to someone whose love changes within a minute. Then I became sad and suddenly you said I am your woman. My eyes lit up after reading this. My lips curved into a smile, a smile whose reason was only you. 


    //Soniyo O soniyo

    Tumhe Dekhta hoon to sochta hoon bas yahi

    Tum jo mera saath do

    Sare gam bhula ke

    Jee lu muskuraake zindagi//


    Then you said this is not just a song for you. These are your emotions and  this is what you actually feel for me. This is what you actually mean to me. And you said whenever I listen to this song I have to imagine that you are singing in front of me, for me. I instantly searched for that song and surprisingly it was the first song in my playlist. I played it  and listened to it on loop. With each and every line my heart beats faster and faster. I actually felt that you and I were dancing to this song.


    //Tu dede mera saath tham le haath

    Chahe jo bhi ho baat

    Tu bas de de mera saath

    Tu dede mera saath tham le haath

    Chahe jo bhi ho baat

    Tu bas de de mera saath//


    It was really surprising that you wanted me to be by your side despite my irritating behaviour. But you said only I can irritate you and you love to get irritated by me. My heart melted and cheeks blushed. I asked my universe," Are you the one for me ?" How could someone be so dumb, decent and innocent all the three at the same time? How could a guy who had never talked to any girl before fall for me? Deep inside I knew that you are a pure soul who deserves everything in this entire universe. But I wasn't sure whether I deserve you or not. Everytime I say I don't deserve you, you get angry. Everytime  I doubt whether we will be together or not, something happens which draws me closer to you. Everytime I ask the universe for signs, it shows me butterflies and angel numbers. Everytime I think about you it feels right. 

    @blue_lemon_writes

    Read More

    Read Caption❤️

  • blue_lemon_writes 10w

    An old draft.

    Read More

    Yesternight I ate all the poems that I wrote for you under a sky full of stars. The poems that were my sole companion in the times of despair are now rotting inside my gut. The poems which once made my days brighter and nights shinier are now incinerating my insides. The poems which I wrote with an immense love are now draining the last hope from me bit by bit. When I engulfed the poems last night, all the metaphors started weeping inside my mouth. Maybe they still remember the taste of our last kiss. As soon as the poems entered the oesophagus, the peristaltic movement became so violent that it almost choked my breath. Maybe the poems didn't want to die and rot. I wanted to puke but all I did was drink one litre of water straight away. I didn't let them come out of my mouth. As the poems glided down my alimentary canal and entered my stomach,I felt the same butterflies which fluttered when you held my hand for the very first time are now sobbing. The hydrochloric acid isn't enough to rot the poems inside my stomach. So I reminisced about all those memories we spent together. Then each and every cell of my body filled with rage. The rage along with pain were enough to kill every single metaphor.  I clenched my fists, banged my head against the rusty tiles of the bathroom floor. The blood started oozing out from my skull. I wrote your name with the blood on my skin and the color of my skin started fading. I could still hear the cries of my poems rotting in the fire of my rage. I could hear the metaphors calling your name and wanted to stay. The metaphors which still had hope that someone would save them unaware of the reality that they are lying in a living corpse. 

    @blue_lemon_writes

  • blue_lemon_writes 12w

    There comes a time when you fail to decide what to do next. Then take a deep breath, relax and set everything free. Universe has put you in that situation where your past and future mess up with your present. You put blame on yourself and criticize your destiny. You don't know what actions you must be taken in order to destroy your demons. Every inch of your cell hurts to the core. You fail to decide why it has happened in the first place. You become the reason of someone's pains unintentionally. You are stuck between your past, present and future. Motivation mocks your fate with it's crooked teeth. It feels that your soul left your body and vanished in thin air. Hallucinations and dizziness take control over your mind. Your stomach aches everytime anxiety hits you and you swim in the whirlpool of emotions. Nothing seems pretty to your eyes. You forget the definition of beauty. You wander here and there in search of solace but all you get is chaos. The eyes which spend nights staring at the moon now cry oceans of tears. When you place your hand on your heart it beats in asynchronicity. Everytime you hold a pen and paper,you bleed not with ink but with tears. You are tired of questioning the universe about what's going wrong. You ask for signs but all you get is warnings. Every time you gather courage to open up your heart to someone and in the end you get nothing but disappointments. People often scold you for not sleeping on time and not having your meals on time but no one notices the demons that follow you everywhere you go. Sometimes even breathing becomes the most difficult task to do. Gulping a single morsel down your throat drains all the energy from your body. Walking becomes so tiresome that you breath heavily with every step you take.  You survive in the hope that this never-ending pain will make you stone hearted that a day will come when you will feel nothing at all.
    @blue_lemon_writes

  • blue_lemon_writes 21w

    It was 6:30 am when I was kneading the flour in the kitchen. I looked out of the window that the sun was about to rise. The reddish sky, chirping of the birds and the cool breeze were so tempting that I wanted to rush upstairs after completing the chore. I let the ball of dough rest for 10 to 15 minutes after punching it down. Meanwhile I washed 2 cups and a plate which were already lying in the sink. As soon as my dough was ready I washed my hands, soaked them in a hand towel and put the bowl of dough in the fridge. Then i took my journal, a pen, my phone and went on the terrace. The sun was already shining brightly in the sky. I squinted my eyes, tucked the loose strands of my hair in a bun and sat down near the plants. I put the title Gratitude in my journal and started thinking about the things I was grateful for. I wrote a minimum of 10 things for which I was feeling grateful and then I closed my eyes and started focusing on my breaths. There was an immense peace inside me and my mind was so calm. I sat there for fifteen minutes without opening my eyes. I felt deep relaxation, positivity and calmness all around. I chanted OM in my mind with my eyes closed and visualised a golden ball of light entering my crown chakra. That golden ball of light which has healing powers reaches each and every cell of my body and balances all my chakras. After completing the meditation, I looked up in the sky and observed the beautiful patterns of clouds. I admired the beauty of nature and inhaled deeply the fresh air. I smiled while looking up in the sky and thought that this nature has everything to heal us. We are so busy in this materialistic world that we often neglect our inner peace. After saying a few positive affirmations out loud I looked at my phone and it was already 7:15 am. I got up from there and walked downstairs, put my phone on charge and was deciding what to do next.
    ©blue_lemon_writes

  • blue_lemon_writes 25w

    Everything is falling apart
    those who once believed in me,
    now misunderstanding me for something
    which I haven't done so far.
    Every time I sit to have my meal
    their cursed words stab my heart
    and make my soul bleed.
    I cried and begged by folding my hands
    that don't hate me at least not in front of me,
    if you wish to do so then do it behind my back
    so that I can freely breathe.
    Their words are like the sharp knives
    peeling off the layers of my self worth
    that once brightly shines.
    I put myself in their shoes
    to understand their perspective
    but they never tried to understand mine,
    Instead they humiliated me more when
    I disclosed that I badly need a psychiatrist
    In order to save my poor life.
    They said that i'm lying and faking my tears
    but deep inside my every inch is battling
    with demons and unknown fears.
    Why didn't they give me chance to speak
    and to prove myself innocent
    maybe they are too self centred
    and ignorant towards my feelings
    because they spent their lives
    in such an environment.
    They claim that they are my well wishers
    but unfortunately they are no less than Hitler.
    They claim that they know what's best for me
    but they don't know that it can be worse for me.
    They claim that they can't see me in pain
    but there was no one to hug me tight
    when I was crying my heart out in the rain.
    They said that one day
    I will bring shame on them
    but they don't know that
    every day after waking up
    I pray to god to keep them happy
    every now and then.
    They said that I will suffer and cry in pain
    but they don't know that I'm dying
    every second and miss the old me
    who used to be happy and sane.
    Tell me how many times
    should I ask for apologies
    for the deeds which I can't commit
    even in my dreams.
    Tell me for how many times
    should I stop myself from committing suicide
    please let me know what you decide
    will you let me live on my terms or
    force me to slit my wrist without thinking twice.

    @blue_lemon_writes

    Read More

    .