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  • diyabedi 3w

    Camouflaging emotions

    "I love you"
    I remember writing those words in my diary as I never had the courage to tell you how I truly felt. My anxiety screamed whenever I thought of telling you. What is this raw feeling of being vulnerable and covered at the same time? What am I hiding? Some conversations that I sipped with the coffee or that dark place where I hid my diary, my emotions or the fact that I know I won't receive an answer that I expect.

    //You never replied to my "I like you" with an "I like you too".

    Those beautiful summer days when I stared at you imagining how you were the sunshine that will keep me warm, but I was once again proven wrong. Your words benumbed me, your eyes froze my smile, it felt like winter and it still makes me cold when I picture those days. You know how I bled with every word you said, but you are unknown of the fact that pain paints more beautifully than those bright colours.

    //I can't imagine hurting you, it will be the last thing I want to do.

    You realise right that you hurt me. Did you forget the only promise that my heart was living on? But don't worry, my feelings for you will never change. I always thought my heart is heavy with all the overthinking and the camouflaging emotions but it was made of paper. It crumbled down with those three words. I wish my ears never heard it, I wish I could remove that day from the calendar, I wish I never woke up to hear something I never wanted to.
    "It is over"

    ©diyabedi

  • diyabedi 4w

    An ache you can't identify

    Abandoned

    An ache of being
    abandoned by all those who I loved the most
    and the anxiety that creeps up my flesh making me
    appalled by the apocalypse that is yet to come.
    An emotion that I will be left behind with my
    anticipations and worries
    absorbing my own self and everyone's absence.

    Fear

    Fabricating and magnifying the idea of being
    forgotten never lets me sleep peacefully, how
    funny is it that I want to live in everyone's memories
    forever and ever? I don't want to
    fade away in those empty frames and
    flames that will turn me into some history with a
    fainting face and absolutely no stories

    Identity

    I am confused why my heart sinks into
    inarticulate sorrow and still radiates a smile.
    Isn't it ironic?
    I smile to hide the pain that none can identify.
    I once asked myself
    If I am forgetting myself for the world to remember me
    In between the turmoil of being remembered and lost, my heart will always ache.
    ©diyabedi

    #wod #pod @writersnetwork @miraquill
    #pleiadespoem

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  • diyabedi 5w

    Pheww, writing after a longg time, it feels good to be back here.
    Will read everyone soon, I hope you people have not forgotten me XD

    #keep @writersnetwork @miraquill #pod

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    Precious Emotions

    A beautiful childhood and the eagerness to grow up
    Looney tunes and birthday balloons
    Senseless fights and deep wounds
    Fancy dress and stubborn wishes
    Inventing games and mimicking characters
    Sleeping with your favourite toy and hugging trees
    The process of growing up and noticing the unnoticeable.
    Unwrapped joy, palpable cries
    The bittersweet taste of coffee and unveiled lies
    Those suffocated poetries and unheard stories
    The mocking and the inevitable embarrassment
    Unexpected betrayals and a forgiving smile
    Ugly heartbreaks and painful separation
    Bleak emptiness and the dark loneliness
    The anxiety during exam and the relief when it's over
    Happy achievements and "Proud of you" moments
    The smell of my favourite food and the surprise parties
    Late night texts and 3 am thoughts
    Existential crisis and frustrating dilemma
    Amazing festivals and cringey selfies
    Words, words and some words
    The thoughts of life and the thoughts of death
    I have preserved everything I ever had.
    In the end, when someone asks me what I have preserved over the years, I say with a smile- Precious emotions.
    ©diyabedi

  • diyabedi 13w

    ���� ���� ������ �������� ���� ������ ������?

    I feel nothing, nothing at all
    Beware of the rosy error
    that is love, the never-ending
    yearning with unpredictability.

    Can you pick up the letters
    from different pages and
    create a sensible sentence
    in one of the chapters of my life?
    Can you be the place
    where I store all my words?
    Tell me,
    Is it too much to ask for?

    Honey to my chamomile tea
    that I sip while remembering you.
    The sweet taste of your smile
    and the gentle notes of your voice
    that makes me wonderfully relaxed.

    Can you help me reduce
    the anxiety that drips from my body
    and never lets me sleep?
    Can you be the chamomile tea
    that I can drink whenever I feel worried?
    Tell me,
    Is it too much to ask for?

    Standing alone in the rain
    under the dark grey sky,
    the sunshine disappeared just
    like the cars that pass by me.

    Can you come back and pick me up
    from the deserted boulevard?
    Can you be the twinkling sunlight of
    my dark heart, a beautiful
    hope to a hopeless self?
    Tell me,
    it isn't too late.
    ©diyabedi

    Thankyou for the repost @writersnetwork ��❤

    @miraquill

    #twinkle #wod

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    I feel nothing, nothing at all
    Do you hear me?
    ~Diya

  • diyabedi 17w

    A: Wind
    B: Some roads lead you home

    Thankyouuuuu for the repost ❤(8) @writersnetwork
    Thankyou for the EC ��
    @miraquill #pod #wod
    #combination #quesc

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    Mirth in Death

    What if death was waiting for me the next door?
    I heard him pounding
    towards the door, slowly.
    He knocked on the door,
    tried to latch the door carefully
    and quietly whispered,
    "it's time to go, to flow
    like the wind, to follow
    a mysterious path."
    I sat down on the
    chair to hear my heartbeat
    for the last time,
    to think about doing
    something before death
    enters and take me away.
    I remembered the old days,
    when I smiled, cried, got excited.
    I felt empty as if there were
    still a few little things left to complete.
    I wanted to eat one last meal
    cooked by my mother, yes, I felt hungry.
    I wanted to drink gallons of water
    one last time to experience
    the feeling of quenching my thirst.
    I wanted to see the view
    from my balcony one last time
    so that when I move like the wind,
    I remember where I have to go.
    Maybe, I wanted to write letters
    to every single person, I loved in
    my entire life and tell them
    "I love you and miss me".
    I will listen to all my favourite
    songs and dance till my feet
    get tired and till I lose my last breath.
    I will laugh at my jokes
    and cry over every heartbreak once again.
    I will want to read Shakespeare
    and mock and praise his plays
    at the same time, experience
    and relive his epilogues as if
    I am saying all that to this world.
    I want to sleep like there is no
    tomorrow and move to the other
    world dreaming about the
    most beautiful memories
    I had in this short life of mine.
    Maybe, I am leaving one
    home and progressing to
    another compelling home.
    Isn't it true some roads lead you home?
    I will wait for death with a lovely
    smile on my face only after
    I have celebrated every second.
    ©diyabedi

  • diyabedi 18w

    #wod #choose #pod
    @writersnetwork Ohhh thankyou so much for the kind repost ��❤❤
    H A P P Y

    @miraquill

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    The 'L' in Love stands for Loathe

    I grew daisies and sunflowers
    in your heart and watered them
    all winter only to lose them.
    Little did I know that
    I am going to drown
    with wrinkling hopes.
    Maybe I watered them
    too much
    leaving little or no oxygen for you.

    //I didn't know you felt choked.

    I always thought our love
    will be embellished in the same way
    as the famous painting of Rembrandt.
    Or where poets will write a play
    similar to Romeo and Juliet.
    Where our love will symbolise
    humility, care and passion.
    But you tossed that love aside
    like an unholy nightmare
    while I kept dreaming this
    as if I never have to wake again.

    //I didn't know your smile hid a constant suffocation

    Your name in my mouth
    dissolves in a comforting way
    like a sweet cotton candy
    and soon it dissolved in my heart.
    Little did I know that
    my heart dissolved for you
    and when the spring will arrive,
    there might be no sunflowers and daisies
    growing in my heart.
    Because you didn't water me
    and your love turned into weed.

    //I didn't know my heart will die as soon as your love dies
    ©diyabedi

  • diyabedi 20w

    Meh
    @writersnetwork Thankyou so much ❤��
    Much honoured ��
    @mirakee
    #tautogram #wod #pod

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    Claustrophobic

    Closed closet
    Crowded chambers
    Choked cries
    Camouflaged chuckles
    Cold comfort
    Collapsed consciousness
    Claustrophobic curse
    ©diyabedi

  • diyabedi 20w

    They buried her memories in me–
    in an empty wooden frame
    All her moments,
    all her screams,
    all her lies,
    all her cries
    in this one wide frozen smile.
    Do you still remember the day
    when she first walked
    and how she fell thousands of times?
    I was still there, with
    a different frozen smile.
    Do you still remember the day
    when she spoke her first word?
    "Goodbye", she spoke.
    I was still there watching
    her predict the future.
    Do you still remember the day
    when she giggled and waved
    at a passing train,
    her tiny mouth uttering
    that newly learnt word?
    I was still there, in her hand
    like the friend who is always by her side.
    Do you still remember the day
    when she called the boy next door
    as her "lover"?
    I was still there laughing and waiting
    for two beautiful smiles to embrace me.
    Do you still remember the day
    when she was first heartbroken
    and she cried for hours
    just to forgive him?
    I was still there,
    empty with dented edges
    and broken glass, letting the photograph burn.
    Do you still remember the day
    when she wrote a letter to you all
    with a single word written on it?
    I was still there,
    helpless and letting her go.
    I wanted to tell her that it's okay,
    you are not a motionless photograph.
    I know you are broken but
    you are not a frame that can't be healed again.
    All these days, I was the closest thing to her,
    I am a dirty, old frame
    that still remembers her touch,
    that still remembers the taste of her tears,
    that still remembers the sound of her silence
    that still remembers the day she was lost.
    I still remember HER.
    Every day, I see them crying
    who buried her in me
    and I keep on reflecting
    that perfect smile of her
    as if she was never lost.
    But
    "She was lost in her longing to understand"

    ©diyabedi

    Thank you @say_me_krish for the challenge. I hope I did justice to your prompt.

    @writersnetwork @mirakee #pod
    #smk_avaap_ch (Prompt 4)

    The one in double inverted commas is the quote I used, it is from the book- Love in the times of Cholera.

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  • diyabedi 26w

    @timeblossom You are love ❤
    Thank you for always being there and to keep me motivated.
    This is for you :)

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  • diyabedi 26w

    Ab(used)

    It was a dark room
    Melting with the tears
    The sea was crashing
    The sky was grey
    Weaving voices in poetries
    The wrath of a young girl
    Didn't you hear the screams that day?
    Didn't you see the scars?
    The scars on my body
    The scars on my heart
    The scars on my character
    You did blame me, didn't you?
    I knew something was happening
    I knew no one will care
    If you found my body in some dark room
    Bleeding and Naked
    Just know it's still not late to fight the world
    Do not hide it under your guilts
    My body gave up a long time ago
    But my soul is still alive
    Waiting
    To see the justice and the laws to change
    I am just no one but it can be your someone
    Trapped in the cage, I scream to fly
    Yearning for justice, my soul will cry
    The trepidation will no longer flow in your veins
    When justice will walk in the streets of pain
    The wrath of a young girl
    Will give several some relief and smiles
    The sky is blue
    The sea is calm
    It was a bright room
    Build with scars

    //And so I breathe with hopes of change
    ©Diya Bedi