243 posts
  • pyro_sagen 6w

    To all the people in my life or not who have fed my eating disorder. All the doctors and family and ex's. Fuck you. Just fuck you.
    #ED #anorexia #death #help #poetry #thoughts #pain #words #hatepoem #vent #venting

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    It's not enough is it
    To ache and to vomit
    To struggle for breath
    And to try to swallow and choke on it

    You won't believe me until I'm dead
    The pain and the dread
    And still you'll say it's all in my head

    You'll try to claim that you never knew
    About the nights sitting empty
    And the eyes laced with dew

    You didn't fix me
    And you were not there
    You called me fat
    And you pulled my hair

    All of the bodies that cast me aside
    Don't have the right
    To sob when I die

    I reach out for help
    Nothing but denial and hate
    Why will you only open your arms when it's already too late

  • naqsaif 17w


    They asked me "how I did it?"
    I said "I am sick"
    They said "No, you are an inspiration".

    @miraquill@writersbay@writersnetwork@refarayouknow (i know you don't remember my birthday)��

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    I want to Starve
    myself to death
    I hope I don't
    Have to do it
    After death
    ~ anorexic thoughts


  • pallavi4 35w

    Relationship with a meal

    Complicated, complex and unfathomable
    Is my relationship with food
    Excessive and binge eating are the norm
    Others opinions I ignore and exclude

    Conscious of gaining weight, I live in fear
    Finding ways to constantly purge
    Although you would think looking at my thin frame
    That of fainting I’m on the verge

    My stomach feels queasy and rumbles all day
    My throat feels parched all the time
    I’m scared that my swollen face might give away
    The fact that I always feel the rising bile

    This self induced purging affords me the luxury
    Of eating as per my wants and needs
    They say I eat a lot for my anorexic body
    “Do you overindulge every time you feed?”

    The pressures I feel from everyone around me
    Make me feel alright about my swollen face
    I wash myself often to rid myself of the stench
    And of vomit removing the trace

    I feel I should talk to my mother about the depression
    And self doubt I have along with anxiety
    I feel broken and unhappy inside
    Afraid like a drunk is of sobriety

    And then there are days when I feel exhausted
    For years this has been the norm for me
    I wonder if of this vicious circle of eating and purging
    I will ever be able to break free

    Bulimia is a potentially life threatening disease that has periods of extreme and uncontrollable food binges and then self induced purging or vomiting. The onset for bulimia is around 15-18 years and is most prevalent in young women. One in every two hundred women is anorexic and suffering from bulimia.

    The pressures of wanting to remain thin and adhere to what the society feels is normal often skews the relationship these women have with food.

    It is easy to spot a bulimic - the uncontrollable binging and the inability to gain weight , the unrestrained thinking about being thin or slender, anorexia, depressed or anxious individuals are people who need professional therapy and help.

    This complicated relationship with food is unhealthy and causes several issues in the long run. The excessive self induced vomiting causes bad breath, irritable bowel syndrome , diarrhoea, dehydration, vitamin deficiencies among other psychological problems.

    If you are a bulimic , know that this is a treatable disease and you are not alone. If you know a person suffering from bulimia, please provide the right help and be considerate .


    19th of May, 2021

    Pic credit: Pinterest, picture credited to its rightful owner

    #wod #meal #bulimia #anorexia #vomiting #ptsd #psychology #eating_disorders @writersnetwork #writerstolli #writersnetwork #mirakee #mirakeeworld #readwriteunite #thepoetrycommunity #poetry #pod #writerscommunity @mirakee

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  • pyro_sagen 46w

    Glass Boy

    I thought I escaped this.
    But its always there knawing away at me.
    I'm just angry and cold and I can't keep keep my stomach full.
    Why am I repulsed by something I need to survive?
    Why do I choke on my own tongue and push everyone away with my own lungs?
    Crying for help is impossible when you can't breathe.
    My frame is nothing but glass now
    Watch me chip away

  • adarah123 53w


    Ive created a world in my head
    To disappear to when times get tough
    But when it comes to you
    I cant seem to escape far enough
    I'm happy
    Im sad
    I'm a bipolar mess
    Not eating or drinking
    Youd swear from the stress
    I just wanna escape from you
    And the hold that you have on my mind
    Keeping myself busy
    Hoping one day I'll be fine
    3 days oh has it been three days?
    Since the last time that I..
    Nevermind that I promised myself I'd get better
    Even though I know its a lie.
    I'll probably be consumed by the hold of you
    Until the day that I die

  • adarah123 59w

    I Haven't Felt Full

    Dear mom, I haven't felt full all day
    I know that sounds crazy right?
    "How have you not felt full havent you been eating?"
    "But you know you have to after all it is your body that your feeding"
    True but I wont help this body that i hate from head to toe..
    "But I swear I saw you eat.. the time I cant remember.
    But it was definitely this week or was it last December.
    You barely leave your room anymore or come out and talk"
    I sometimes really want to but i cant find the strength to walk. Mom i havent felt full in days
    Every meal i push away minute after minute hour after hour and maybe day after day
    I try so hard but each time the hungry feeling just seems to fade away..before i get to the kitchen.
    I havent felt full in weeks..
    I pick apart my food like i pick apart my body
    Pulling at every piece until theres nothing left but a mold of what it used to be
    Then i pick at the stretchy skin of the person who used to be me..
    I havent felt full in months..
    The food i still push away
    But the hungry feeling keeps rising up day after day
    But lately the quicker it comes the quicker it all falls and fades
    Mom I havent felt hungry in weeks...
    My stomach makes those awful noises telling me to feed
    But the pain disappeared so it no longer needs...the food right?
    I wanna feel hungry again
    But lately its been so hard
    Its like everytime I try the food just seems so far
    I shouldnt have let the habit grow for so long..
    The longer I wait, the harder it seems to have this disorder break..
    And the less I want to you know.
    It's easier to stay at the bottom then to climb a mountain that will only grow

  • pyro_sagen 59w


    Forcing some meat on my bones
    Throwing this filth down my throat
    This junk in my stomach
    This junk in my mind
    Rotting away with my soul

    Your ribs are a lattice
    You know we cant have this
    People will know it
    Your body will show it
    So shut up and keep your guts in

  • yoitsleohere 72w

    Look at yourself, you fat ass!
    You need to loose some weight
    A thin, beautiful, pretty child,
    I will help you create.
    First we need to start with one pound,
    And by that time that's through,
    It can't possibly be enough!
    So now we'll push for two.
    So that's two pounds come and go,
    But your still not pleased with what you see?
    So then I'll whisper in your ear,
    "hey let's shoot for three".
    Pound after pound you'll shred,
    Yet you still yearn for more.
    So what the harm? I say
    Our next goal will be for four!
    Over this time you'll get addicted,
    Four will turn to eight,
    And so you'll keep on loosing.
    As you fuss about your weight,
    You look in the mirror and is unpleased,
    With the fat protruding your skin.
    Eight turns into sixteen,
    You just want to be thin.
    Oh hold on now,
    You're getting sick
    But you don't give a damn,
    Because now you truly are obsessed.
    Your scared of gaining just one gram.
    And by now you've lost fifty pounds,
    And you want to double that.
    But you don't see yourself getting deadly thin,
    Your the opposite of fat
    But you don't see it...
    So you say "a couple more pounds. Just a few",
    And not that much further on,
    The disease has killed you!
    So people go to you funeral,
    And they cry as they play the last song,
    And I'm just standing there smirking,
    Don't you see?
    This was my plan all along!

    This is not my poem!!! I just wanted to post this because I can relate to it alot...
    #depressed_bean #anorexia #poem #mirakee #writersnetwork @writersnetwork #bored

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    pound by pound

  • sunofyah913 84w






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  • pyro_sagen 88w


    To the bone they said
    I take that to heart
    That's my goal
    If I told you my dear
    That would ruin what I've built
    Youd make me start all over
    Put my energy into hiding myself better
    But all youd be doing is delaying the end
    Cause to tell you the truth
    I really dont care
    I'll die pretty
    Whether or not you were there

  • pyro_sagen 104w


    I scan the points of my hips
    And the outlines of my ribs
    Searching for something worth saving
    Anything worth reviving
    Anything to escape
    This rift between me
    And being truly alive

  • phoenixia_elixir 109w


    Every time I see food.
    I feel like I'm gonna be sick.

    It reminds me of the person I see in the mirror everyday.
    It reminds me of the things I buried deep inside.

    Everytime I see food ,
    The little voice inside my head keeps on Chanting "don't eat, don't eat, it's not worth it".

    Hungry to bed!
    Hungry to rise!

    Anorexia sucks!
    Insecurities sucks even more...

    How much more pathetic can I get?

  • pyro_sagen 109w


    A meak and fragile frame
    With lungs gasping for breath with every step.

    Bones that are begging to snap. Hands that always shake. This body will collapse.
    These glazed glass eyes fighting for alertness and bruised arms and legs are all that is left of me.
    Don't look me in the eyes for you'll know,

    Its all I'll ever be.

  • heartless_harmony 111w

    Forgive Me (Pt.3 of 3)

    Going on sites
    Eating orange juice soaked cotton balls
    Learning how to puke best in the stalls
    Listening to songs:
    "Once on your lips is forever on your hips"
    "Stuffin' up your mouth with t-t-tissues"
    "Starvation will never break me"
    Body forgive me
    Sorry friends but my best friend is Ana
    Don't take these poems as instructions
    Following it will mean destruction
    Inch by inch and pound by pound
    It started early for me and now I'm bound
    For you, it doesn't have to start at all
    Heart attacks, and fainting, and heart palpitations
    Constant annoyance and frustration
    You're unable to focus
    Sorry teachers, family, and friends
    But most importantly: body forgive me


  • heartless_harmony 111w

    Forgive Me (Pt.2 of 3)

    I do it until I feel too dizzy
    I do it to keep me busy
    Replacing one pain with another
    Body forgive me
    Hot chocolate, water, and tea
    For days and days on end
    Body forgive me
    My thoughts are so loud, I'm shocked no one hears
    I want to scream but I don't want to upset my pears
    But does it really matter?
    With only 0.3-1% of the population
    But I don't want to be here with a child's admiration
    With it never mentioned or instead romanticized
    I don't want to be idolized
    Not for this
    Not for an obsession or disease
    Body forgive me, I'm begging you please


  • rae_kurt 112w

    Please See Me

    People don't see me.
    They see a nervous kid.
    They see a lazy teen.
    They see a stupid person.
    They see my uncombed hair.
    They see my baggy clothes.
    They see my tear-stained face.
    They see my empty lunch tray.
    They see the cuts.
    They see the half-done homework.
    They see the dark sleepless shadows under my eyes.
    I see their laughing friends.
    I see their gossipy notes.
    I see their rumor-filled texts.
    Everyone has me wrong.

  • heartless_harmony 112w

    Forgive Me (Pt.1 of 3)

    I have so much to be sorry for
    Most times I love being sick
    I constantly hear the stopwatch in my head going tick, tick, tick
    So many numbers in my head
    Measuring my waist and thighs every morning and night
    And collapse, I just might
    With every passing day I feel lighter
    You think I am, but I'm no fighter
    I'm killing myself slowly
    Body forgive me
    But big is all I see
    I'm so sorry
    I make jokes and laugh hysterically when I'm the opposite of okay
    I say it a lot, but it's all I'm able to say
    My record, and yes I call it a record, is 139 hours
    I turn on the water and pretend to take showers


  • pyro_sagen 114w


    I push you out but you always come back
    You've overstayed your welcome
    How thin do I have to be before you'd think of anyone but yourself.

    You promised me so many things but your lies dont taste as sweet anymore.
    Do I have to bury you 6ft under the dirt to be rid of you.

    Your voice causes me pain and your touch that I used to love has become the thing I hate most.

    I'd rather you hit me and tell me you hate me than be smothered in your false affection
    I told you I needed you to leave. But you never do.

    I'd rather starve than eat what you offer me
    Theres nothing more here for you to see
    Please let me starve alone
    Please let me be

  • ellenble 121w

    #ätstörning #rädsla #anorexia

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    Din värsta rädsla i livet, som du är livrädd för att möta är inte lika skrämmande som rädlan du byggt upp i ditt huvud.

  • rumourtalks 128w