She had another episode of her panic attack today. It sucked, and now she's exhausted. She actually haven't had a full blown attack in years, so it really caught her off guard. Because she had the sudden urge to harm herself again and she did, she dig one of her nails deep into her palm and now there lies a wound. Times like this, makes it hard for her to breathe. Her chest starts getting tighter and her breathing grows rapidly. Her palms get sweaty and her hands starts shaking uncontrollably. She keeps telling herself "It's ok, it's gonna pass hold on a little bit more." But her body says otherwise. At times like these she needs to relax but then again at the most difficult time of her, relaxation doesn't come that easily. But she still won't seek out for help and neither would anyone realize anything just by looking at her, because she wears a mask in front of the world.