A pocket full of dreams ••••√°°°°°°°°•••••√°°°°°°°°°
With a pocket, full of dreams I began, a journey to get it fulfilled, though my love for everything stayed, I sometimes stumbled on reality, yet at each fall, I stood strong, being emotional, giving upon few things, half-heartedly, though my expectations faced all odds, I went on, with a pocket full of dreams
••••√°°°°°°°°•••••√°°°°°°°°° By Jophin Kulangara 11 July 2021
Following my dreams , In my worst days , Losing my hope, Going without friends, Going crazy , Stress levels high , Future I have , Built in my dreamy eyes , Parent's dreams , My own dreams , People's hope , Is a cluster of thoughts, Filled in my mind.
Waqt ne par to diye, magar zindagi ne udne na diya. Kismat mein ucha khula aasman toh diya, magar inn bediyon ne unhe chuh ne na diya.
Bachpan se h udaan bharne k baatein hoti rahi, wo khula asman dikha dhyeya tay hota raha. Lakshay ko dikha koi seema na rakhi par udane k waqt bandishon mein bandh diya. Iss waqt ne par toh diye par udane na diya.
Jakad k band diya un h bediyon se, chabi humein h sop keh diya hum h se k jab mann karey, jab mausam sahi lagey, jab koi na dekhe aur bas waqt sahi ho.
Bas tab tum bina sochey inn bediyon ko khol udan bhar lena. Waqt se par toh aa gaye par inn bediyon se kabhi chutkara na mila.
Aa gaye humarey rakhwaley, humarey h angan mein chaukidari karne waley. Uche aasman k sapne dikha, udaan kaise bharne ye sikha, unn h bediyon mein jakde hue, humein ek sone k pinjre mein kaid kiye hue.
Waqt k tahe par toh diye par humein udane na diya. Haye ye sone k pinjra.
I'm 25 something and I am not someone who has imagined that there's going to be a guy on a white horse who'll come to my rescue and I'll fall in love with my prince charming, I'm neither against love, I'm somewhere in the middle of no where. But honestly I've not found love yet, did i try to look for it? Eh! Not really! But whenever I tried to give it the benefit of the doubt I found something that we can call opposite to love. Have I been in love? Yes! broke my heart and I think I've given love a cold shoulder since (If anyone can do that, yes, that's me)
So, eventually I met this 28 something guy, he is smart, handsome and such a gentleman in today's era, very traditional not exploratory though. He is full of love, such a romantic like he's pumped with all the good bollywood kinda love. I would say he's had his share of hurt but he chooses to believe in love anyway. Above all what I think I admire the most is he puts himself out there in search for love again, he loves, he cares, a little afraid of giving it in, too soon, of being hurt, still attached to his past but believes it that it'll be all worth it for that one true soulmate of his who he'll find inevitably.
And one fine night I send him a quote like usual, which is: we're never so defenseless against suffering as when we love - Segmund Freud to which he usually shares his insights but not on this day, this day he asks me in return : What is love?
Such a simple, innocent question and here I am, I just kept looking at the question for minutes altogether, faltering for words. What am I supposed to say to this guy who is the one who believes in love? To this romatic idiot? I'm this practical thinker who hasn't known love all my life so what could I possibly say?
So I find myself telling him, umm more like asking him : Isn't love like air? You can't see it, you don't know how it is though it's there and you can feel it.
It's there in that moment when on a cold winter night the kid asks for an ice cream by making this cute, innocent face. You know the answer is no and that's what your insides are shouting out loud but your mouth ends up saying yes.
It's the moment when you've the most delicious chocolate cake in the house and your mother takes the smallest piece so that you can have more on your plate.
You're all pink and red on the face because your sister took your newly bought hoodie but you let it slide away when you see her happy, glowing, gloating face.
You're pissed at your best friend since the one thing you asked to be kept a secret is known to the entire school by that weekend but a few glaring looks their way and eventually you hug it out.
You know your mother can't remember everything but she still wants you to tell her all the details which she doesn't remember and you keep repeating the same thing to her anyway.
And I tell him love is like air.. it's there in the moment when a flared skirt goes all the way up only to reveal the lovely black thong in the inside. So you and I wouldn't know how is love, what is love, you can't see love but at the end of the day there is so much love and you'll always be happy to have some love coming your way.
It all goes in the mind. The reflection of the past, dreams, illusions, thoughts, perspective, aspects, transition, decisions, planning, regrets, memories, anxiety and sometimes traumatic incidences into darkness and what not. It all needs the humbleness and peace to be calm to get rid of it to stay away through its other mental health problems that gives nothing back and destroy the intrinsic peace. The continuation of positivity fills the moment of life differently where a human doesn't feel sick of each other anymore. As it all happens due to inhuman aspects when they gets rude or annoyed unnecessarily over the tiny aspects or neither gives value to the big loss, it makes different phenomenon in the end.
A mourning can be cured because they express their pain easily through their expressions, or words to share their belongings to whom they trust the most, but what about the melancholic person who keeps many things from the past subconsciously or unconsciously towards any motto. The melancholic person tries to be intrinsic the most usually, and try to resolve things of his own to avoid those words that they didn't expect from others who gets them drown in the favor of need or by humiliation. A misery of mourning person can be resolved because he's being encouraged from the people to whom they trust the most but melancholic person who tried once to open the scars and got no recognition and her wounds looks more ugly in return, that wounds no longer consider as external but internally. Internal damage gets more panic attack and gets the distance from others in order to resolve their own mystery. Through what a journey, some gets healed or some becomes more vulnerable. Some makes their boundaries and priorities. While, some keep avoiding others for the sake of mental health.
In between that journey, a vibe exist from somewhere and makes deep connection of sense among the similar pattern of thoughts among people with the spiritual connectivity of their soul and they get screwed like they had met before but in real they thought they don't. A real vibe of connection through heart saves each other and compensate with each other and works with empathy together.