Guys first of all I'm not proud I swear…..I love people in general, but I hate snakes, I hate rats and ahhhhh I fucking hate hypocrites I go with the flow, I turn up, but I've come to understand a lot of things Like my Niqqa, life is actually funny yo don't you think ? I just laugh all the time at all this clowning Ahhhh lol oh Ahhhhh mad ohhhh Like my mum doesn't know that if she comes to Moscow she'll be famous because of me And well I'm ACTUALLY NOT FAMOUS But omg people think I am They way things are right now, jeez I want to escape cuz the way people include me in everything even when I don't have the strength, but well we go steady Blending work, personal life, spiritual life and all the other lives, and education too oh Although we all know this ideaology of school as we know it is deceit and all we want is moneyyy, well and happiness haha But yo Why wasn't there a manual to life ? Why didn't someone ask us first if we wanted to be born or not Cuz now I'm thinking, is this shit really worth it ? Like okay yes, I came I saw….but have I conquered ?! Because if I die today I'll both be happy and sad Happy cuz I lived life as I am without hiding my true identity, at least the most of it haha again But I'd be sad cuz ahhhh there's so much more I could achieve Like yo, how about that school I promised myself I'd build ? Yea the one that would house bullied kids and reassure them that they're loved ? Just cuz I was bullied as a kid Like how Will I be a philanthropist ? How will I help ? Ahhhh it sickens me when I remember that I made a decision to help only myself Yea…..I used to be all selflessness and putting people first, but life taught me a lot And yea I learnt to love myself in a fucking hard way I became selfish ☹️ Selfish asin always put myself and my inner peace first in every situation Like, haha my life is chaos, but so is also everyone's life The real thing now is only to learn how to stay calm, act normal or oh well, pretend that everything is fine when you're experiencing your own personal chaos The second real thing is to find humor in all of it all Like find humor in that person that doesn't understand you Find humor in that disappointment Find humor in that rejection Find humor in that loneliness Find humor in that meaninglessness Find humor in Life in general If not my Niqqa you'd just commit suicide and waste away And the fact that I found humor in this last line hits on a different level Cuz at the end of the day The only ultimate meaning to life is that Firstly, Life is meaningless Secondly, We must not try to find meaning to it or we'd get depressed and die And thirdly, we must just live it to the fullest before our time is up So yea the ultimate sense is that nothing makes sense, but we MOVE !!!