The emptiness here is suffocating...
Unspoken words dying as they travel from my soul through my vocal chords,
Never quite making it past my tongue to my lips...
This quiet has become too thick,
This unending cycle of toxicity
Poisoning the very air...
Your touch has left scorch marks upon my soul...
I am still burning in the aftermath of Us,
The taste of ash bitter upon my tongue,
And no matter what I try nothing works...
I can hardly breathe,
Choking desperately on the anger and the pain.
I have tried my best to be true to you...
But I lost my Self, somewhere along the way.
My voice is not loud enough.
I am not strong enough.
I no longer have the will to fight.
I am mute.
Deaf to your cries,
Blinded by the audacity
Of your sudden hatred of me.
I sit here in a cloud of smoke,
The fallout of jealous words and
Insults hurled at me, too much for me to bear
The weight of what we were
Is too heavy for me to carry...
Perhaps I was too honest.
I have learned to bide my time
And bite my tongue.
A lesson learned too late, yet learned ..
I told you too much about my self,
About my past,
And you didn't hesitate
To turn them into
Vicious weapons hurled at me.
Waged in a war I want no part of.
The thought of you hating me so much,
The thought of your dreams of me becoming
Something so twisted and vile...
I can't stomach it anymore.
When it hurts more to stay than it does to leave,
When it takes this much work to simply Be?
I am finished.
So, here I sit alone,
Numb to the flames which surround me.
Too tired to continue this battle
I never volunteered for.
All that is left is me.
This poem is my white flag.
©JFH Poetry 2022