Only when the thick white smoke enters my lungs do I find peace and clarity
Spinning this glass ball full of crystal like liquid substance
People say meth is the devil, and I say heroin is his less forgiving brother
Meth brought my life to a spiralling end, heroin just helped me forget it
I rustle through a purse filled with the only items I own and find a shiny heroin lined piece of foil crumpled up in the pocket
I guess you could say that I am rockbottom
I wander the streets at night
Frequently, someone flags me down asking if I needed a ride, reluctantly sometimes its just a kind old man seeing me cold and uncomfortable in the elements
Most times, it's because I look like I could be cold enough that I would be willing to offer a cheap thrill as they look at me like a prey wounded in unfamiliar woods at night...
If I'm lucky I have a place to rest my head
Or if im really lucky, a dirty run down place addicts call home...
And I feel they are more like sanctuaries compared to the hollow scared feeling that over whelmes me when I am on the unforgiving streets soaked in rain or in the arms of a stranger.
Most days spent wasted away in front of a slot machine. All I can do is hope I win big... but at the end of it, im stuck out in the cold 4am weather without a place to take shelter.
Gambling is the worst addiction. The thought of alot of money gets you high.
Youll never be in favor over the house though... ever.
it's insane and utterly ridiculous how a gambling addiction could alter your mind more than a drug induced comatose.
Only good to come from that evil hell are the few friends I consider more like family since I see them more than my real family who wouldn't even know or care to even look for me for weeks or months if I came up missing. Id be found dead rotting for god only knows how long and they would find out and it would be too late to matter.
I guess, you could say that I miswell be dead anyways.
This is the life I live, if I'm even living at all.
More like half dead, I am of no use in this world I reside in.