#kaiotyk

24 posts
  • kaiotyk 21w

    a ballad of 4:30

    The space heater sings significantly louder than my phone speaker
    which sits under my pillow
    softly whispering into my aching ears:
    a feeling I got once, sitting in the airport
    a knot tied tightly around my stomach;
    tossing what is left of myself to give out on the line, bait and hook
    for any passerby to spot bloodied sleeves and wonder
    if pain really makes the heart grow fonder,
    or if I’d be better off suffocating in someone’s glass case
    gasping for freedom
    like a recycled thrift store buy you know you never needed.
    I’m happiest when I’m anywhere but here
    under the weight of my own sheets, I’m tied down
    cuddled into submission by my own brain trying to eat around the best parts of itself
    as the space heater next to the bed roars
    so do i.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Silence at golden hour.
    Peace by the water
    humming a childhood tune to the Mother Earth
    in rememberence of what’s come to pass.
    In the daily commute to talk the loudest
    always living to die to be heard
    we often forget we, too
    must breathe.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Too Sweet

    When you’re fragile but strong
    you need someone who can turn shattered glass into rain
    bend miracles to their habits
    find rhythm in silent rooms
    see all the ugly parts of you
    and wonder
    how the world got you so creatively right.

    It’s everything in a look
    the stars magnetic pull hide in their soles
    dancing on two left feet to the heartbeat of a better tomorrow
    finding the vast escapes of time are no better wasted
    dreaming of a chocolate dipped heart.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    9 to 5

    A mechanical scream into the night
    tells them the sun is rising,
    and they should too.
    It is 9 am on the east coast
    and they’re praying what’s left doesn’t remember
    who they are when they’re not gracious in pointe slippers.
    Slip free of the warm arms of their sheets
    begging them to return, and attempt peaceful sleep
    but the body follows its primal instinct:
    get it’s ass to work so it still has sheets to come back to,
    but never have long enough to truly appreciate.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Oh man another oldie, but the metaphors in this one are too good not to put out there
    #miraquill #kaiotyk #spokenword #mentalhealth #metaphorical #depression #selfworth #improvement

    Read More

    Loving me is

    one of the hardest things I’ve ever done
    besides putting fake eyelashes on with stiletto nails:
    unless we count the pain of getting the nails on
    watching the metal scrape back cuticles
    that took years to reform after I turned them into canyons
    but I think stabbing myself in the eye
    with all the things that make me feel pretty
    might just take the cake this time.


    Loving me is
    waiting for a volcano to erode
    sink back into the flesh it came from
    and lay at peace, for once;
    less a violent 3 am shaking
    as the heart attempts to sew itself back together
    and it’s getting to the point you wonder
    if I’ve spent a single night not under the knife.
    When people tell me
    they love the beautiful chaos of life I say
    Chaos is less a cramped work schedule
    and more stretching yourself to fit it
    I am an entire undersea ship
    containing the wreckage of a thousand lives
    all scattering to clean themselves up for mermaids
    they know aren’t coming.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    I found this draft I liked, and I'm glad I did because I got to revise and add to it! This bad boy is finally finished ��
    #miraquill #kaiotyk #spokenword #improvement #selfcare #reflection #isolation #togetherness #comparison #love #relationship #friendship #family

    Read More

    Difference 365

    The most fun I’ve had in 2020
    listed by amount indulged:
    One. Dancing in my room alone
    to songs about boys who never loved me
    Two. dancing in my room alone
    to songs about boys who may have loved me at one time
    and could give a damn less now
    Three. imagining the laughter of the people
    when they realize it’s another poem
    about loving solitude more than anything else
    Four. Every time I see my younger sister smile
    Five. Realizing I’ll always be whoever I want
    and remain both nothing and everything else
    Six. Sitting in bed alone
    thinking about hugging my friends
    Seven. Hugging my friends

    The most fun I've had in 2021
    listed by amount indulged:
    One. Finding love in the obvious place, the home of arms
    that welcome you with ease
    Two. Hobbies become fun again, the daily grind now but a pile of dust
    that has lessened its grip on my mind
    Three. Posing for Polaroids with my favorite ring of human beings
    Four. Imaging the laughter of the people when they realize it's a new poem
    about embracing the change for once instead of
    sad boy central up in this bitch
    Five. Seeing my loved ones smile
    Six. Sitting in bed shoulder to shoulder
    thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow
    Seven. Getting to tomorrow.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Roots

    The garden of Eden surely had its weeds
    we all do, I think;
    small obscenities that shake your core
    attempting to understand roots you never asked for
    looking back at the daily and wondering
    if you’d taken better care, would you be here?—
    shivering as the icy winds of uncertainty
    lightly cup your cheek,
    with sadness dripping from its whispers
    It doesn’t matter, the quaking leaves hum
    it never mattered, no...
    a weed has as much life as every flower
    every fruit, every snake that tells you
    you are nothing—
    it is only you who can choose
    what you gain from the ground you are planted in.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Gunshot

    Gunpowder drags
    through my every vain
    just waiting to be ignited—
    a girl on fire, a being of wonder
    exploding into every deadly beautiful opportunity
    this disgusting world has to offer.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    The Taste of Music

    Freedom is a beat
    the heart aches for
    a song only you can savor
    words of the wild
    too sweet on your tongue
    bumping into the corners
    of your own mortality
    and letting your love
    hang loose
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    "Poetry for Women"

    I am so fucking sick of male poets
    telling me my smoky breath yearns for healing
    or whatever excuse they have to make me feel
    ‘grounded again’.
    If I can get sick without you
    I’ll become better while you watch
    starving for credit
    while a single drop of fire from my eyes
    burns your toxic metaphors to the ground.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Mid-day Snack

    Life’s as simple as
    when the vending machine is out of the
    only snack you wanted
    so you settle for the sugary half-assed alternative
    and before it even hisses
    you can feel the kiss of the sugar
    perturbing your smile
    corroding the love you have left
    but you keep on drinking
    knowing one day soon that your over-indulgence
    will come back to bite you
    harder than you could
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Things I learned the hard way.

    Cats will sit anywhere you ask them not to. Siblings are a blessing from the Divine, when you may have pissed them off a little. The loudest ‘I love you’s aren’t always the most true. Mornings are best served melancholy. Sometimes the sky just tastes faintly of sadness; accept these times as they are. Those who love you hold your heart with shaky hands. You did not deserve what happened to you. Not a living soul can kick the passion from your breath. Poetry is a language. Cries for help are always the strongest song. Nothing will change unless we do. Not every warm hand that reaches for you is looking for anything more than a piece to take home. You are your own shining achievement for making it to where you are. I already love the me I could be; I’m still bickering with the me I am.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Maraschino

    Eat around the cherry pit
    catching glances of a side-eye scattered between fibers
    the insatiable desire for any reason to be free
    it’s an addiction
    giving in to the nitrous oxide mind, cherry pit spits acid
    gracefully elevated, cherries are the best high
    leaving the latter to the lover in the cards.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Alex

    It’s been three years
    and the sound of your voice stills rings clear
    in every song you loved
    it’s a passive love, a hurt I hold on to
    reminding me you are always there
    eternal karaoke in my speakers.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    The first day off medication feels this good

    The morning light slaps me in the face like a firework.
    Good fucking morning, Boston
    looking over at your blessings and thinking
    God, I am so glad I messed up in all the right ways
    to get to this moment—
    the day smells like coffee and admiration
    for the few things you love enough to put up with
    it’s the first day without your medication that you feel insatiably good
    it’s magic when today makes tomorrow okay
    and the weeds in the yard dance almost as gaily as I am.
    And when the day closes another chapter
    and tucks me in with grace
    every mediocrity of the time to come
    fades to be a bridge I have yet to face.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Sunstorm

    The clouds outside ain’t got shit on me now.
    The headphones caress the metal end of the earrings and
    the world keeps turning and
    son of a bitch, I’m living for the first time:
    no longer a corpse, why
    poetry took me and pulled me out from under the sheets
    threw on my blackest dress and said bitch, hit the streets
    cracking the pavement to the sound of the progress
    highway speeds back into the madness
    I think for once, I’m high in the purest form
    kicking up the pieces in the aftermath of the storm
    lord knows when I come down, I’ll come down hard
    knees buried in the dirt of the dying garden yard
    but tending to the flowers is easy
    the smiles of the village keep it cleanly
    so let it rain, the Mother weep
    for the bittersweet joy of getting back on your feet
    the clouds ain’t got shit on me, baby
    don’t need any more sun to save me.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Edge of the World

    A gift for a gift.
    Trading everything you were for the worth
    is it possible, to be a curse with a smile that wide?
    Daydreams aside the waves pinch the sides
    closer together than the Red Sea divide
    it’s clearly trickery of some kind
    a feeling you never knew you knew
    the moving melodies, melancholy
    a project you’re never finished with
    until every adventure becomes the staple of
    the you
         the us
    the future free of Armageddon.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    This is the first poem I wrote for 2021 in anticipation of the coming year, and I'm doing my best to follow its positive vibe every day
    #miraquill #kaiotyk #newyear #motivational #inspiration #spokenword #change #ambition #selflove

    Read More

    1.1.2021

    Somehow the air feels different
    a little thicker, brimming with promise
    the illusion of changing folds the veil twice over tucking in ambition and the collective prayers of the planet
    following an eon of survival as the tea kettle of tension and revolution screams by the stove top.
    Better is the most bittersweet forever we funnel love
    into, unable to grasp the circumstance melting in our hands, hot wax burning its way through winter:
    restoring but a drop of hope into the mirage of the coming twelve months
    eager to taste its possibilities.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    My eyes scan the walls of my eyelids for a secret code I have been trying to decipher for over 20 years. I feel like no matter what I do, I am always the technician of my own undoing. 
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 21w

    Here's to uninstalling needless weight ✌
    #spokenword #release #acceptance #revival #impostersyndrome #kaiotyk

    Read More

    App Management

    Binding ties cut through the veil of prosperity, using bloodstains to count the passage of time; becoming anemic at the very sight of severed ropes pulling my limbs in all directions. I still crave the unsolicited touch of validity I find centimeters from my fingers being pulled away at such velocity it leaves a masochistic scar. The ghosts of yesterday still permeate within the walls of my ribcage, damning evidence that I could never be the sound of church bells ringing out in glory and satisfaction for the ones who needed to be saved. Oh, to be idolized again: feeling the strain of purpose weighing down the complexity of existence to the point where the light humanity prayed for you became the North Star. A saving grace for a wanderer, a miracle of compliance and freshly blooming flower fields now rotting from the center.

    The burden of being evil comes with choice: a reminder that even Lucifer was an angel once--cast out for naught sins, but the glory of becoming something higher than the self. To embrace the future in acceptance that feathers will never again grow on scorched skin for the crowd has plucked what little was left to become the quills of undoing your own story. Isolation is in itself a form of communication from the shadows; a passive wish you well from beyond, sending whispers through the thin walls of every house in the city. To even those who have felt betrayal. To those who sit on the outer rim of my being, taunting from afar... it would be easier to just uninstall facebook and forget I was ever a deity at all.
    ©kaiotyk