The rose petals in my journal have dried Into shades of brown and your photographs In my drawers haven’t tasted air in years now Yet your presence haunts me like a persistent ghost With no plans of leaving just yet. The broken shards of my heart have not yet mended , The scars are still fresh and The wounds are still healing .
I hide them , covering them with Unbelievable tales of self injury sometimes Trying to convince myself that you never were . That you never existed . That you did not matter. And yet every time I do, I know deep inside my heart that that will never ever be true…. So deeply ingrained is the pain that you caused me.
I still feel you like the winter breeze That carries a message of destruction In its wake, a cold wave of discomfort and distress. I still feel numb. I still feel like that rose that was ripped Apart by its very own thorns just because It fell in love with them and decided To give them a chance to get close. I still feel like the wood aflame in the fireplace — Uncomfortable and undervalued.
In those pictures that I’ve tried to Burn a thousand times to discard memories of you , To rid myself of any shreds of you that still lie connected to me … I only see failure. A failure to be ruthless , To be heartless , To be able to fight back. I still feel like a wreck inside and I know My insides are still raw.
It is delinquency yet I feel one never truly Forgets someone they once loved No matter how much they hurt them . Love like water has memory . It retains the forms and shapes it was subject to No matter how harshly And hence resists replacement. The heart does not necessarily need What it wants. Yet….. We cling for unknown reasons To the faded memories of a love that we once knew, Trying hard to sniff out the fragrance From the dried flowers in our diaries Just to feel enamoured again , To feel love again Only to be left cold and disappointed.
I don’t want to remember you, yet I do. I don’t want to recognise you yet I search for your face in a crowd. I don’t want to hurt anymore yet I keep one hand firmly on the wounds So that they don’t heal completely. If they were to be repaired somehow Then I feel I would lose you once and for all And in the process lose myself once again , Get lost in an unknown wilderness That I may not be able to find my way out of again. So I keep you alive in my life, In the yellowing pictures that I cannot get myself to burn And the diaries that still house The roses you’d once given me.
She waited patiently for him to Return home from the war And lived facing difficulties alone While he wrote to her from afar Her love was true she knew He would never her forsake She knew he would return to her And a life together make After five long years he appeared Troubled and forlorn The man she had loved for so long Was far from gone She tried to help him return home in totality His broken spirit she tried to rebuild All the while wearing wings of iron Living in a cage made of gild He tried hard to adjust to life, tired of Only being the soldier that he was The bitterness he felt inside put his Better nature on pause While she cooked and cleaned for him Never once stopping to rest He kept watching, sometimes spying on her His mind frazzled like a bird’s nest Every time she spoke to another man He felt threatened and insecure The seed of betrayal had taken root And for that there could be no cure The first time he lifted a hand at her She was hurt and truly shocked As time went by the beating became a part Of a routine while by him being mocked She tried her best to save herself From the lavender bruises and outpour of his anger She vowed to run away from him Her life was in peril and in mortal danger The day she’d planned to run away He caught her trying to flee He beat her to within an inch of her life Saying, “you thought you could get rid of me?” She lay helplessly in a pool of her blood Knowing fully well that the end was near It was better to die than to live with a man She had once loved but now had come to fear Love died that day and hate won outright With her, his anger died too All his life he would remember her last words “In this life I only loved you”.
I lie bleeding under a canopy of shimmering stars Aware that this will be the last time I see them The cold seems to have seeped into my broken bones I’m coughing clots of blood along with the phlegm
As life slowly ebbs towards the end I cling to each moment, each breath I shiver thinking any minute may be my last I seem to be inches away from death
Life flashes before my now drooping eyes As I lie dying on the grassy greens of my own house In life I hadn’t achieved much Neither been a good father nor a bearable spouse
My wife, the doting, meek, mother of two Stands by me watching me hang on to my dear life She’s soaked to the bone , as am I I lie prostrate on the ground, she holding a bloody knife
In my life I had had little consideration for her Or for that matter anyone else but me I had been spoilt and selfish, self centered and a cheat Inspite of my kids I had always considered myself free
She had on the other hand had Spent her life tending to me and later the kids Her obliging, sweet manner were good for a person like me Oblivious to her own needs she had lived
I had cheated on her for years now She had only now discovered one Read the love notes written by one of them So she knew how behind her back I’d been having fun
When confronted with the notes I denied Any knowledge of their existence Plead to her of my innocence in the matter Thought I could persuade her with some persistence
The lies did not seem to have moved her She was embarrassed, angry and outraged I had underestimated the degree of her ire She stood seething like an animal who had been kept caged
Without a word , she lurched at me The blade of her meat knife piercing my heart As I fell to the floor I lost count of the slashes They’d been so unexpected that they’d given me a start
I slowly dragged myself away from her Towards the garden I started to crawl She stood like an amazon watching me mewl Watching my blood soil the floors and the walls
As the thunderstorm outside blessed Her lovingly tended garden with showers of rain She followed me out to the lawn Where I now lay writhing in extreme pain
The kids were asleep although they were By now used to the silent treatments and fights I wondered what they would think of their gentle mother After she disposed me off this very night
I pleaded with her to get me a doctor I knew I was close to being gone She stood silently like a block of wood While I bled out on her meticulously manicured lawn
She walked to the house alone after orchestrating the catastrophe The nearest neighbours were further away than a mile For the first time in years once she shut the door Her face lit up with a beatific smile
pallavi4@2chinmayee no no please bother me, I love your observant nature and the fact that you had the courage to point it out. If there was a genuine mistake, I would’ve gone on posting this all over mirakee without the correction !
2chinmayeeSo sweet of you ❤ Di.. Really means a lot.... Love your kindness and admiration Reading your post touches my core..
I was left lost and abandoned Abandoned like a boat rocking in the stormy ocean Ocean had no one left to call my own Own understanding I lacked of my emotions Emotions when you found me I was Was wilted and near death , barely alive Alive as your comforting touch was a relief from the pain Pain it helped cure, helped me survive Survive I did and clung to you like a drowning man Man you were the only one in sight Sight you became the essence of my soul Soul(‘s) saviour in the dark and desolate night Night was when I fell in love with you even before I knew Knew what I was really getting into Into the sky you were the rainbow Rainbow that I was drawn to like glue Glued, mended my broken self and calmed Calmed my tattered and shattered soul Soul I trusted in your hands Hands healing me was seemingly my only goal Goal was lost with a crack here and a jolt there There you used my unbreakable trust in you You turned it around to bruise me now and then Then you became someone I never knew Knew that I was a monster, a plague Plague where the fault always lay within me Me thought you were the angel who could do no wrong Wrong I was and I needed to set you free Free I wasn’t but emotionally broken and scarred I left Left only to find loneliness and despair again Again it would be a decade before I would heal Heal and my life’s reed fully regain Regain myself I needed to love me completely Completely it was me I needed to learn to like Like I was slow to heal because myself Myself I’d grown to hate and dislike Dislike causes a daily struggle to love myself Myself I’m still slow while trusting others Others falter so we should learn to trust ourselves Ourselves remake till us it no longer bothers
As long as I can make happy others I can endure anything for them As long as they care each others I can do anything for them As long as they don't lie to each other I can smile like fools for them As long as they are happy in others happiness I can endure anything for them As long as they don't argue with each others I can do anything for them As long as they can live together I can endure anything for them As long as they wouldn't leave each other in Critical condition or in their need I can do anything for them As long as they can live together happily I wouldn't cry in front of them
I can do anything for them and I don't want anything just want a little understanding or love
in_thy_arc_Beautifully concreted a solid and sensational masterpiece jointing jubilant emeotons with its poignant reflections . Adore in a side and power at other What a magnificent penning of words it is. Awesome take on the challenge ❤️
in_thy_arc_Beautiful brief summary of tenderness beneath blue tides . Amazingly combined words with ethereal essence of words in garland of tender thoughts . Heart caught it From the very first line and marked an exquisite masterpiece.❤️
Leaving you behind in the past Left a gaping hole in my soul And forever I’ll remain incomplete Never again will I be whole Broken hearts rarely mend and On their owners take a toll So I left behind much more than a heart That was no longer my own
A register full of complaints A bag of belittling memories A lot of unnecessary drama A notebook of forgotten melodies A bed filled with crumbled dreams A pocket full of faded sunshines A set of your clothes that I’d worn A book of love poems and rhymes A multitude of ideas about love A life that was no longer my own A conundrum that protected you A risk of being left all alone A tired and haggard soul A joke that I’d slowly become for you All the games you played with my mind An abusive existence known to very few
In the decade that we spent together I lost track of who I was inside You still felt the need to seek another While slowly pushing me aside Kicked to the curb like a cur I still somehow found the will to survive I pray that our paths never cross again That life for us never coincides
The wind blew away precious hours Like coarse sand grains blown away by time The secret was that truth was found missing In the lies with which I built you a shrine In the depths of my deranged deception The sun shone on the faithfully unfaithful I tore you down piece by piece while Putting you high up on a false pedestal Your dreams I crushed like a broken mirror Every jagged shard a dagger’s plunge deep Your empty life was a vessel I filled With foamy water from a tumultuous sea My raging anger you bore silently, calmly The wounds left forever open and sore Till the day you could bear it no longer And refused to be a fatality any more