Pic credit: Pinterest, picture credited to its rightful owner- “Room with a piano" by Stanislav Zhukovsky (1916-17), Pskov State Art Museum
“Can’t help falling in love” , the song of my choice, by Elvis Presley was a song recorded in 1961. It has since then been ranked in all time greatest hits lists and re-recorded by several artists even in recent times. The lyrics “like the river flow gently to the sea” and the soothing melody make this song my favourite. I think I must’ve heard it a million times , never once tiring of it.
The rose petals in my journal have dried Into shades of brown and your photographs In my drawers haven’t tasted air in years now Yet your presence haunts me like a persistent ghost With no plans of leaving just yet. The broken shards of my heart have not yet mended , The scars are still fresh and The wounds are still healing .
I hide them , covering them with Unbelievable tales of self injury sometimes Trying to convince myself that you never were . That you never existed . That you did not matter. And yet every time I do, I know deep inside my heart that that will never ever be true…. So deeply ingrained is the pain that you caused me.
I still feel you like the winter breeze That carries a message of destruction In its wake, a cold wave of discomfort and distress. I still feel numb. I still feel like that rose that was ripped Apart by its very own thorns just because It fell in love with them and decided To give them a chance to get close. I still feel like the wood aflame in the fireplace — Uncomfortable and undervalued.
In those pictures that I’ve tried to Burn a thousand times to discard memories of you , To rid myself of any shreds of you that still lie connected to me … I only see failure. A failure to be ruthless , To be heartless , To be able to fight back. I still feel like a wreck inside and I know My insides are still raw.
It is delinquency yet I feel one never truly Forgets someone they once loved No matter how much they hurt them . Love like water has memory . It retains the forms and shapes it was subject to No matter how harshly And hence resists replacement. The heart does not necessarily need What it wants. Yet….. We cling for unknown reasons To the faded memories of a love that we once knew, Trying hard to sniff out the fragrance From the dried flowers in our diaries Just to feel enamoured again , To feel love again Only to be left cold and disappointed.
I don’t want to remember you, yet I do. I don’t want to recognise you yet I search for your face in a crowd. I don’t want to hurt anymore yet I keep one hand firmly on the wounds So that they don’t heal completely. If they were to be repaired somehow Then I feel I would lose you once and for all And in the process lose myself once again , Get lost in an unknown wilderness That I may not be able to find my way out of again. So I keep you alive in my life, In the yellowing pictures that I cannot get myself to burn And the diaries that still house The roses you’d once given me.
Leaving you behind in the past Left a gaping hole in my soul And forever I’ll remain incomplete Never again will I be whole Broken hearts rarely mend and On their owners take a toll So I left behind much more than a heart That was no longer my own
A register full of complaints A bag of belittling memories A lot of unnecessary drama A notebook of forgotten melodies A bed filled with crumbled dreams A pocket full of faded sunshines A set of your clothes that I’d worn A book of love poems and rhymes A multitude of ideas about love A life that no longer my own A conundrum that protected you A risk of being left all alone A tired and haggard soul A joke that I’d slowly become for you All the games you played with my mind An abusive existence known to very few
In the decade that we spent together I lost track of who I was inside You still felt the need to seek another While slowly pushing me aside Kicked to the curb like a cur I still somehow found the will to survive I pray that our paths never cross again That life for us never coincides
I feel you like the warm rays Of mellow sunshine Streaming in through the gaps Of the drawn curtains My worries slowly melt away Into thin air I feel light and refreshed — Free from all worldly burdens
You are a breath of summer breeze— Cool and replenishing That soothes me and calms My hyperactive mind I’m glad that in this chaotic world You found me And gave me the freedom To call you mine
She waited patiently for him to Return home from the war And lived facing difficulties alone While he wrote to her from afar Her love was true she knew He would never her forsake She knew he would return to her And a life together make After five long years he appeared Troubled and forlorn The man she had loved for so long Was far from gone She tried to help him return home in totality His broken spirit she tried to rebuild All the while wearing wings of iron Living in a cage made of gild He tried hard to adjust to life, tired of Only being the soldier that he was The bitterness he felt inside put his Better nature on pause While she cooked and cleaned for him Never once stopping to rest He kept watching, sometimes spying on her His mind frazzled like a bird’s nest Every time she spoke to another man He felt threatened and insecure The seed of betrayal had taken root And for that there could be no cure The first time he lifted a hand at her She was hurt and truly shocked As time went by the beating became a part Of a routine while by him being mocked She tried her best to save herself From the lavender bruises and outpour of his anger She vowed to run away from him Her life was in peril and in mortal danger The day she’d planned to run away He caught her trying to flee He beat her to within an inch of her life Saying, “you thought you could get rid of me?” She lay helplessly in a pool of her blood Knowing fully well that the end was near It was better to die than to live with a man She had once loved but now had come to fear Love died that day and hate won outright With her, his anger died too All his life he would remember her last words “In this life I only loved you”.
We are in the ocean of love Our waves roll towards the beach of life Oblivious to all around us We are in the waxing and waning of the tide Unafraid of where the surf may lead us The waters make us feel immensely alive We are drops in the ocean of love And in it we don’t merely survive, we thrive
You know you are in love When the desire to be with someone Overwhelms the want to live solitarily To find a reason to be alive When every song you hear feels like It’s meant for you and you become Childlike and naive When the wind carries messages of Affection and the air with scented Jasmines is purified When the need to protect someone Overrides the necessity to run away And remain hidden inside When time becomes unbearably quaint Every moment insufferable and your emotions Swell like the rising tide When spring blooms take over the garden Of your fertile mind and in it raindrops Slip and slide When everything you feel is like a Lighting bolt and your feelings you are Unable to confine It is then that you know for sure That you are in love and that Your heart is soaring high
I have been growing hope in your back garden Potting posies of high aspirations Watering them with showers of love Beseeching them to match my expectations I try and smile like those abandoned flowers That we’d tried growing for our relation Deserted they’ve wilted and dried alone - Become devoid of any emotion When the tired sunflowers fall off my eyes I hope I don’t find a desperation, a stagnation There is so much life yet to be lived I hope this garden becomes so much more than my imagination
Sometimes when the wind gently caresses my face I think of you Sometimes when the rim of a glass I trace I think of you Sometimes while watching the sun go down I think of you Sometimes when I see somebody frown I think of you Sometimes when I’m terrified or scared I think of you Sometimes when a secret I’ve shared I think of you Sometimes in the middle of a lonely night I think of you Sometimes when no one is around in sight I think of you Sometimes although I’m ardently engrossed in something I think of you Sometimes when I sit alone and sing I think of you Sometimes when I feel inadequately loved I think of you Sometimes when my eyes unnecessarily flood I think of you Sometimes inarticulate I become I think of you Sometimes when I do something dumb I think of you Sometimes you’re all I think about
pallavi4@ak_anjali_daydreamzz it’s apparently a combination of Anaphora and epistrophe (ending each sentence with the same word) and is called symploce. I had no idea about this, I looked it up after you rightly pointed it out 😊