Anonymous (flustered routes)
Today when I skimmed over pages where I left that jocund girl. Now that girl is lover of darkness.
I'm tired of sewing words that weigh so much to give a backbone pain to my poems :P
I regret stepping in this pure world
From childhood to this point a leech is sucking my confidence. But then I question myself is it just me or only me who is going through or has gone through sufferings.
Still my conscious says
there is a limit. Don't destroy yourself.
Day after day I'm afraid of looking at my reflection in mirrors
I don't want to come face to face with that cruel lass again . She haunts me . She laughs at me .
that dried blood in my bathroom's floor
those marks which made an abode at my back
I shiver when I see those belts
hung at places
those ceilings and railings or those fucking high rooftops
which always showed me the flustered routes to death
Eventually, I burnt my words
I killed the real me
Ashes and unshaped black clouds
are her grave's sun and moon
At crowded streets that 15 year old me
is still running away from those vultures
she is still fighting
fighting with the whole world
but she lost
she lost the battle with herself
She again is pulling me back in her arms
she will make me cruel and cold again
she will take away my innocent soul
I'll be the pawn of hatred
I'm scared of her
these poems are not giving me peace
my mind is struggling to cope up with my soul
my breaths are bewildered
she's trying to take control of me
but what an irony
she is in me . I can never deny her
I can never deny her !
|Her flustered absence in unwanted hours smog me out from chimneys of past but her presence stabs the shoreline of time|