#scaredycat1984

13 posts
  • scaredycat2222 17w

    Soaking wet

    I dipped my toe in you like a pool because I was curious.
    I sunk my foot in ankle deep because you felt so good on my skin I had to know what it would feel like if I went in a little deeper.
    Next thing I knew i was waist deep.
    From my hips down to my feet I became completely submerged in you while my upper half waited above your water.
    Keeping a watchful eye i prepared myself for anything that looked unsafe or even a sound that sounded out of place.
    While I was half engulfed in you I wont deny i was still fearful you would harm me.
    But Before I could stop myself l let myself go and sank beneath the surface.
    I splashed and thrashed and tried to reach for something to grab ahold of to pull myself out
    but all I gather in the palm of my hands were tiny little droplets of you.
    Once I worse myself out I stopped and found myself floating there completely at will.
    Void of any fear, any panic, just you and I completely still.
    I felt a warmth wrap around every inch of my body.
    If felt totally weightless but something was still weighing me down.
    As if I were a feather floating in the wind and an anchor steadily falling to the ground.
    I didnt know if I were floating or sinking.
    I believe now i was sinking.
    I Starred up at the heavenly blue that once baisted the sky and it became harder and harder to see.
    I looked down below and all I could make out was a darkness that seemed to go on forever.
    It gave off this illusion that i would never reach the bottom.
    Everything was completely calm and quiet, it felt like that for an eternity.
    It was eerily peaceful.
    I heard no sounds except for the pounding of my heart in my chest.
    I was warm but had goose bumps all over.
    I needn’t come up for air.
    Not once did I have the urge to gasp for breath.
    My lungs filled with you and you did suffice.
    You supported my body effortlessly as I sank lower and lower into the depths of your belly.
    I had never before felt a peace like that.
    Not even once during my entire life.
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat2222 18w

    Close the door you're letting the heat out

    I prefer to be alone here
    Shut inside my safe cocoon
    I'm really not one for conversations
    I stop giving a fuck
    about being understood
    You see my walls
    They're tall and sturdy
    And my door locks from the inside there are no windows
    to be raped by sunlight
    It's the perfect place for me to hide
    I used to come here
    when life got heavy
    It's always been my only reprieve but lately I spend all my time here
    I just can't bring myself to leave
    it's not like anyone
    will come by looking
    Nobody's knocking on my door perhaps I'll lock myself
    inside forever
    Maybe, i won't go home anymore
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat2222 21w

    Ant hill

    The dissident
    The provocateur of all that is nonconforming
    And malcontent
    Spreading propaganda and
    Disbelieving you will one day be someone to be afraid of.
    Youre always something to be proud about.
    Im always gonna shout out with you
    In some dingy hotel room at 3am while youre half naked and im searching for a cigarette in my purse so i have an excuse to go outside to get away from you before my God damn head explodes.
    You make my head feel like its gonna explode.
    Turning sheep into heretics
    You play un fair for the hell of it
    Take mine and your shares of it
    Eye got my eyes on you
    I just cant take my eyes off of you
    Quickly righting all the wrongs that you do
    Ill make the bitches batting their eyes stear clear of you
    Can you jusf try and stay irreverent
    To me youll never be irrelevant
    Can just discuss the fucking pink elephant in the room already
    Times just a tickin and checkouts an hour before noon.
    Our time together goes so fu king fast
    but days when i get to see you are never too soon
    Youre Full of hot air like a birthday balloon
    Juxtapositioned and grey like a rainless thunder cloud reminding me its June gloom
    I cant keep going like this or one day ill die jumping out the window trying to ride that broken broom
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat2222 23w

    Click

    Play with me like an acoustic guitar till your fingers snap one of my strings
    Glare at me with your eyes open painfully wide
    While simply out of spite youre refusing to blink
    Grab a fist full of my ponytail
    And pull harder and harder till i cant take it anymore and a let out a squeek
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat2222 23w

    Butter

    It's like i can feel you anxiously waiting for the moment
    i decide that ive had just about enough of this waiting on you, and decide that im not going to spend my days wedged in between being patient and quieting my aching heart that wont stop crying cause its grown tired of longing for someone who is completely content, happy even, with missing someone they know damn well is not content and is very unhappy missing them.
    If i wanted to suffocate in this lonley and ice cold room where my lips have been neglected so long theyve become frost bitten by the icy words i scream into my pillowceach night half hoping you'll hear them and bgg the other half wishing my brain will finally fucking listen to my tongue and leave your sorry ass who i know is only playing games. Who is only allowing me to slip into your world when you feel me slipping away. Amd who i know isnt going to fullfill me because you dont fullfill anyone but your own selfish needs while issuing future faking promises of a brillant future where some day, soon you always promise itll be just nnb you and me, if i just hold on a little bit longer. Have just a little more patience and have just a little of hope.
    What kind of a dumb fuck do you mistake me for?
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat2222 11w

    Bubbles

    Will you scratch past my surface
    And whittle deep down
    past my skin into my bones
    Will you taste the tips of my finger after i trace the indentations
    Left caressly by the one who came before me.
    Your chest heavy with failed love after failed love
    after spoiled plan.
    Can i watch you love me
    Place a mirror above me
    Curiosity splayed across my face
    As I study you,
    I lay contently melting in your arms.
    Hips wide open,
    Hands sliding,
    And lips swollen.
    I can only make out the
    Back of your head
    You fell asleep on your Belly again,
    Your face burried in the bed.
    As good as it was,
    Or as good as it has
    the potential to be.
    I cant help aching and waiting to see it all.
    If you pin my hands behind my back
    How am I supposee to catch myself when I fall.
    Just dont tell me we're forever
    Then tonight promise another that you'll call.
    Dont tell me that I'd be crazy not to trust you
    while you have to search somewhere in your brain when were mid conversation tomorrow morning
    and its come time to say my name.
    I hope you washed what's left of her off you, for fucks sake,
    I hope you used soap to make it easier for her to slip down the drain.
    Dont kiss me on Sunday
    with your dirty tongue and
    that bitches spit
    still sloshing around in your mouth.
    And give up trying to lie,
    I know you think I'm stupid,
    I know for a while already what you're about.
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat 33w

    Whittier Narrows

    Because you are so God damn good to look at,
    I except the pain your wounds inflicted.
    If you weren't so f****** beautiful my love would've been a little bit more restricted.
    It's been hard.
    Days without your face are a little less comfortable and nights without your embrace our hell of a lot more cold.
    I sold myself to the devil when I fell in love with you and knew he offerd no returns.
    You regret me, or so you said,
    Im too hard headed to regret you, but if given the chance to given the chance to win your love back or die,
    I'd without a doubt be dead.
    I cried more tears than I ever thought I'd cry.
    I've spent three years passing between love and hate and sad and mad and glad your gone
    but mad you left
    and sad you didn't want to keep loving me the way you promise you would.
    And angry that you lied
    when I lied to myself that you would never stop loving me
    then finding out that yes
    You actually could.
    I should just forget I ever knew you but do you have any idea how hard it is to forget the face
    i dread the day I run into.
    Im sure you havent the slightest clue.
    Your love didn't run deep within your soul like mine does.
    I mean did.
    Your passion for me was fleeting when mine was solid.
    Your devotion to me
    was based on what I could
    and would do for you
    Not everything I did do for you.
    And you certainly didn't waste your time thinking about how you should've spent even a little bit of effort putting your hands back in your own pockets
    and thinking of ways
    To thank me for being there for you
    when your homies forgot about you the moment
    you were out of their sight.
    and I, who barely knew you
    never turned my back
    and would even drive for hours to see you at your request
    or spend hours on the phone keeping you entertained or comforting you
    and being exhausted the next day because I got no sleep cause
    I was on the phone with you,
    Again, all night.
    But it's alright.
    I Can't fight
    if there's no one to fight for.
    Your memory
    wages wars in my head
    And wins battles in my heart.
    Apart from the pain I withstand from that,
    I guess you can say im doing alright.
    ©scaredycat

  • scaredycat2222 34w

    Finish your milk

    Epitaths and bubble baths
    Blustery days
    Fires ablaze
    Chilly dogs
    And morning fogs
    Hot summer days
    Long distant gaze
    Rewired brains
    Unclogged drains
    Drops of rain
    And Ankle sprains
    Friday nights
    Sore eyed sights
    Street lights on
    And played out songs
    Buzzing phones
    Flying drones
    Dirty floors
    And List of chores
    Ticking clocks
    Unmatched socks
    Tangled cords
    And Slamming doors
    Broken hearts
    Car wont start
    Shards of glass
    Pain in my ass
    Rips in jeans
    Forgotten dreams
    Shoe lace in knots
    And little red spots
    Razor burn
    Missed my turn
    Broken nail
    Stolen mail
    Tierd eyes
    Killing flies
    Liquor stores
    Dont want anymore.
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat2222 34w

    Get your ass off the tracks

    A fine silver thread twisting and splintering as it hang wrapped around your pointed finger
    Stressing me out so damn much its become impossible for me to linger any longer than i already have
    I was forced to go before i had enough time to get a good look at your face so that it would be etched in my brain and could replace the thick unfamiliar fog that rest heavy in your place.
    I left so quickly the strangers who sat comfortably hypnotized by your spiderless web of finger pointing lies probably thought either my ass was on fire or perhaps i was shooting for first place in some long distance race.
    I lack the comfort of remembering what you look like,
    even though I hoped i would.
    I cant recall wether your hands were soft or rough or what they felt l like, even though by now i thought i should.
    And no matter how hard i try to, i cant hear the raspyness in your whisper or what your voice used to sound like,
    But believe you me, i wish i could.
    And no. It doesn't ever ease any pain to recieve a pat on the back and be told that "everything is going to be alright."
    Or to hear some nosy stranger tell me matter of factly that "Everything is going to work out just fine"
    And im certain im gonna scream if i havr to hear, just one more time, that you'll be back one day to stay if youre truly meant to be mine "
    ©scaredycat2222

  • scaredycat 42w

    Broken window

    You were like a tornado in my teacup.
    A storm swirling around my cereal bowl
    A lightening bolt that struck the rug right smack in the center of my living room.
    You desecrated my life
    with a love as forceful as a tsunami
    Charging through someone's bucket list destination vacation coastal village
    Where the ocean is so crystal clear you can see the tiny hairs on your leg swaying back and forth with the current
    And people live in huts instead of multiple story Tudor style homes and there are no signs pointing to any official evacuation route.
    No laws and no regulations to Pursuede some one to follow suit.
    I acknowledge.
    and I rebute.
    You had become institutionalized by the institute
    And instead of accepting the truth,
    You blamed me for being too old and tried to drink yourself back in time to your youth.
    How'd that end up working for ya?
    Did you wake up one Sunday afternoon to find you've lost your knowledge of how to tie your shoes and replaced it with a new skill on how to tie a noose.
    Did you stumble down the hall, half drunk and half hung over pissing behind the toilet bowl while you leaned into the mirror wondering how you got that huge purple bruise.
    Fumbling and tumbling cause you barley pulled up your pants
    Before leaving the bathroom where you neglected to flush
    And failed to wash your hands.
    Half drunken stumbling fumbling steps easily mistaken for some trendy new new tiktok dance.
    Pockets and wallet are both empty cause you were stupid enough to believe that to properly order a strip tease it's customary to pay in advance.
    No going backsee's
    No second chancie's
    No dirty stripper panties on your floor.
    Either your ass didn't get any ass last night or your strip tease was more like romp with a dirty whore.
    You shove your face in your unfluffed and very flattened pillow desperate to suck in another wiff but I'm sorry, sweet heart
    there just isn't anymore.
    No more for you, anyway.
    At least Not any of the shit your nose is searching for.
    Nothing left of those dreams you had of waking up on Sunday morning
    not hungover, not in bed alone and not having carelessly flushed the last 12 years of your life down the porcelain thrown.
    You had 12 years to watch minutes and hours and months and days swirl counter clockwise in a whirlwind of liquidlush go round and round and round fuck gone in a flash your years were gone in a flush.
    ©scaredycat

  • scaredycat 47w

    Hands down

    Because I couldn't separate the higherarchy between at work and at home
    You put your hands on me

    Because I didn't turn my back and instead faced forward while you spread your love wherever you felt the need
    You put your hands on me

    Because I didn't shut my mouth when I heard about an indescretion half buried by time with your said you spent with your mom.
    You put your hands on me

    Because I knew better than to trust you but acted like I trusted you to everyone we knew
    You put your hands on me.

    Now I shutter at the thought of any man putting hands on me.

    Now I cringe at the idea of even a trustworthy man putting their hands on me.

    Now I isolate myself in fear of anyone getting within arms reach cause they may put their hands on me.

    Now I can't remember what a loving touch felt like because you put your hands on me.
    ©scaredycat

  • scaredycat 53w

    Quicksand

    Picture me
    Sitting passenger
    Your right palm on my thigh
    Think of me
    The first time we met
    And the last time we said bye
    Dream of me
    In ways that make your cheeks turn flush
    In ways that turn your brain into mush
    Remember me
    How we kissed with both our eyes shut
    And how you traded my madness in to live your life stuck In a rut.
    ©scaredycat

  • scaredycat1984 182w

    You're sweet

    Oh my goodness.
    How I loved to love you.
    How I loved how you loved,
    To love me, too.
    Your love gave me wings
    which then set me free.
    You made my life exciting
    You made living this hellish life easy.
    For the first time, in a long time,
    Blue was blue and green was green.
    Everything was so beautiful
    Everything was so serene.
    How incredibly amazing it felt
    when you wrapped your body around me
    Running your fingers across my forhead
    And then circling around my cheek.
    Sweeping your face across mine,
    You'd smile the sweetest of smiles,
    It made even the worst day turn out to be fine.
    Your eyes would tell me stories,
    Some devious, some obscene.
    Some heart breaking, some breath taking,
    Some amazingly routine.
    There's was nothing you could have done,
    Not a damn thing told to me by anyone,
    To make me love you any more or less,
    For I loved you with a whole heart
    and a love that was timeless.
    ©scaredycat1984