His eyes were so blue,I could mistake them for an ocean or pearls with unknown origin. It seemed ike the universe had lost a part of itself and somehow adjusted in his eye-sockets. I told him everything about the way he looks a little broken and lost and everything about the way I want to love him in the emptiness and dark. I traced my glittering fingers over every wound and scar of his to let him know that I will be there to fix all of his fragments and calm the unsettling and chaotic hurricanes of his soul.
[things i said too quietly]
"your brokenness is piercing my soul" I whispered under my breath as he pushed me on the floor and I pierced my hand on the broken shards of the wine glass. The dripping blood mixed with the mahogany wine and an aura of betrayal filled the air. My brain started recalling every definition of the word abuse and I pushed the thought away. " He just needs some time" I said to myself quitely. Later that day he bought me my favourite flowers, daisies and lavenders and apologized for the chaos that revolves around him. The fresh fragrance of flowers tickled my nostrils and dried all the tears away.
[things i didn't say at all]
The rustle of falling autumn leaves and the stormy weather blended with the sound of hurricane that had originated somewhere within him, it was a kind of destructive force that was born to crush everything into chunks ; me, our home ,dying summer and all the happiness. I accepted the fall of universe without any rebellion just like the summer had surrendered itself completely to another season. I didn't try to stop him when he crushed all of the memories we had been building since years neither did I say anything about the blinding darkness that was making me lose parts of myself.
[things i said under the stars]
"It's a beautiful feeling to choose yourself over all the mess. No other person can fix the brokenness of another human. For the injured and broken parts demand self love, flooding from emptiness of ones own heart", I said to myself as I felt the dewy grass beneath of cold feet. Every inch of my skin was twitching with bliss as I stared at the empty yet starry sky and promised to choose myself over everything, again and again. ~ Aleesa Khan _______________________ @miraquill@writersnetwork#thingsyousaid
You fold the washing whispering loving words into every tidy crease in the hope that when someone shakes out the sheets and towels and pyjamas they perhaps might hear them fall out
but they drop surreptiously and disappear rolling under the refrigerator to languish with the frozen peas.
When you drive to the supermarket you converse angrily with the cars coming madly towards you in the opposite direction and braking suddenly in front of you at the lights
and as you push the shopping trolley past the colourful apples on jaunty display you lodge kind words in amongst the Pink Ladies and Granny Smiths in a bid to make them sweeter.
You talk wisely to an old dog while out walking through the park where the birds flock madly your voice engulfed in the shrieks and cries of a thousand avian intruders
and at the water's edge where the dog hydrates the current catches your vowels and consonants that will trickle on down the stormwater drains and eventually flow out to sea joining an alphabet soup of lost wisdom.
In bed at night the stars strain to listen to the dialogue between your dreams in deep REM where you cry to be heard but hear your own cries and the timidity of your own disposition haunts you
and you wish upon every single one of those stars to give you a voice that can be heard because above all else you just want to be heard.
But all those words that you wanted so desperately to shout out to the world -
joybirdpoetry@murryben Murry so many people are not allowed to have a voice. They might be intimidated or shamed or bullied or made to feel foolish, or maybe just be too shy. So they go through life wanting to be heard but are unable to be, because they feel anything they might have to say is not valued and you're right, they accept the suffering and that is very sad. I was once like this and sometimes it can take a very long time to find your voice and when you do, you still choose your words carefully for fear of rejection or humiliation.
reneewolfcrowdenunezOh just using my far to descriptive way of speaking, it's hard not to do, but for us NOT to be friends, is a terrible oversight!! @murryben btw, i did post the first"part" of this poem under"journey of a poet" fyi!
I came here during 2020 pandemic. All tired of this world my mind was filled with suicidal thoughts. Before coming I'd gone through depression and yk what happens after that it feels all void . Empty . Silent . And . Dark . In the past I've lived those situations which were unlivable. Before coming home (here) I used to write diaries, I remember I burnt my 2 favorite diaries and a week after I discovered Mirakee . Curiosity was on its peak. I tiptoed in and felt so warm . @/thelunareclipse I can give her the credits for teaching me everything. She became my first friend. Till half year I met a few people and made good connections with them . I never knew about haters, reposts, pods and popular section. Cause I was a budding writer and my style was very childish I used to apply the same style again and after again which made it difficult for me in the start to get that much recognition. I was all like those who are in discover section now (Hi-fi poets never stop writing you'll reach heights one day In Sha Allah) . But I was happy. Why I was happy ? Cause there was no race at that time . It was all peaceful. It was like a second home . One can play here, enjoy the evenings with memes and users . Everyday was a sunshine in my life . It made me smile , laugh and gave me hope in times when I forgot what actually life means. Later , I fall in love with someone here :D I can say still in love but dude there is a long road betwixt our countries and yeah no chance to get him . I kept it secret till 9 and a half months . After that I got an opportunity to talk and confess to him ughh, and unconsciously our bond got stronger as friends. Telling you all cause it happens here . I don't know but you can fall in love accidentally here . I'm talking about pure love not nibba nibbi things :D Don't be afraid when you feel something like this if you can then hide your feelings and suppress your emotions if you can't then just go and confess. It gives you a new direction about what to do next . You don't regret it later . (I know I'm talking like love guru now :) Moving on, after many many many months I got First WN repost well what an insane person I was but I celebrated that day like a buddhu I'm . Then it became a habit reposts if not reposts then EC. My father says 'When you get something unexpected and you keep getting it a time come when you stop thanking about it and you'll get greedy to have more . Save yourself from that day" . But as a human I'm I couldn't understand till I experience. Firstly I got something like this after a long gap and in my whole life I can say I achieved something at that time people started complementing me and it encouraged me but then came days when I got a low reach very few supported me at that time but this thing triggered me. Suddenly I started writing like a maniac' everyday. At night I used to learn heavy words to use them in my write up next day . And a day came when I got my first pod . It felt so good . I was astonished cause honestly speaking that piece wasn't my best . But I again celebrated that day like a buddhu I'm xD I got into limelight . Inspiration a star a talented poetess I don't know people used to call me this all and I started getting hungry for more and more and more and so on. Whatever, in this period I got deceived by few so called friends. Cause I was famous '-' so whenever anything controversial happened people used to notify me beforehand. I got into few fights, I remember at times many guys used my profile pic and used inappropriate words about me . It made me bewildered and hurt but I kept writing. I didn't stop. Then one day in all this limelight and famousness I created havoc here. I still can't forgive myself for messing up the peace here at that time. For the first time in my journey here I hurted my closed ones , they were embarrassed because of me and I realized my mistake later . Whatever, in few days things got right again . After I breathed out of all the controversies and stuff like that I remembered my cause of being here. Now jealousy crept in my bones. (You'll laugh but) whenever I used to read blah blah blah got a pod . Or the number of users who used to get repost daily I started to abhor myself. My magic evaporated in the smell of obsession taking me towards destruction. Mirakee was an addiction for me and the panel of followers, likes and repost were my only source of happiness. Maybe no one will confess it here but everyone go through this stage during this journey. Again I got pod. Again in more powerful limelight. But never I thought of myself as a genuine writer . Who can be a genuine writer? The one who don't need someone's appreciation to keep oozing out metaphors. He knows his compatibility and the way to use the hidden treasure he got, anonymously. I completed an year here. I remained like this till November 2021. My all friends, those who supported me this place and the sincerity of my home vanished, it faded somewhere in the spaces. My life turned into a rollercoaster. Ups and downs. Things changed and so situations this made me change. In the mid of Dec 2021 I left Miraquill forever. To start a new chapter of my life with so many expectations (as always expectations kills) . In the end of Feb 2022 I remember I came again to leave . Cause even now I was getting continuous attention and reposts but I wasn't feeling that home anymore. In April 2022 I kept playing hide-and-seek with you all. And as I said expectations kills, I got killed :P To live and lead your life more happily sometimes you have to give up on things, people and mainly on few relationships. I was and I'm walking on thorns these days. Its hard to stand anymore but I'm trying. It's hard to keep myself here anymore but I'm trying. I need sometime. But in this whole period I learned life is so cruel. A few likes, followers and not having attention from an admin is nothing when you have to cut a piece of your body to breath, to strive, to live cause you know if you keep it attached in thy body your heart will get rotten and death will hug you. I learned the definition of HOPE. It is something that is giving me a sparkle to still keep walking. It is so deep and truly untrue at the same time but its the bestest pill of this world which can blow a new life in your flesh.
In the end, I shared my everything with you all cause I don't want somebody else to do the same mistakes I did . These are the things I never said at all but now I'm opening up cause I want YOU to smile rather than cry for such little things which are just numbers. Remember age is also a number before it's too late, change your mindset and make yourself resplendent.
miss_silentlyweird@fromwitchpen Late response here but anyway lovelots!! You know this piece give me a sneak peak of you being honest, putting some effort to learn your mistakes and how you manage to correct it — that's actually warm every words put within. Gladly to read it, Keep inking ✨