Dk what i wrote actually!.. This piece, although might not be good, is really precious and personal to me cuz i wrote this for someone who is a part of me.. Someone who will always have their mark in my soul..Someone whom i would like to hold close as long as i can..someone who will always be my human forever, no matter, how much we may/ might drift away... Someone who will either turn out to be a beautiful memory to carry to my grave or the most beautiful scar i will adore, no matter how bad it burns..... ...and many more cuz you are you
Edit.. I lived a lie since ever..
Thankyou so much for reading dears❤.. Ik i haven't been active here and am missing out on a lot of your posts. I will surely get back to y'all and read them❤
Note : Felt like penning down something after many days.. And this will be a mess.. Pls ignore if its not making any sense..might delete it later.
Thankyou for reading
Dear person i could never forget,
Its been six years without your warmth in this earth.. Six sunny summers, smothering Springs, analogical Autumns and Whispery Winters without your sighs here. Sun still claims the dawn which we once shared and Moon still rules the night which we once neared..
The promises we made to each other were frosted in the first Winter you left me here. I still visit the soil which held the ashes of your dreams six years before.. And will you believe me, if i say, the ashes still burnt my fingers today when i felt them? You know, they say, the dead ones have it easier but the one who remains cradles the crumbs of memoirs we knitted together..
Your last artwork was a shelled butterfly.. The woman who birthed you still treasures the art in her bedside table. You remind me of a betrayed butterfly.. One which was too bright and colourful for this dim world.. Your wings were teared even before you tried to spread them. When moon devours the sky breeding twillight, i imagine you flying among the lost stars like you always wanted to do.. I wish i was there to witness it...
You want me to smile and am trying each day.. Will you come back just once to tell me, am doing good?. Is it okay to scream aloud to the world outside that am falling apart and i have no hands to hold me? Humans are strange di.. I don't know how should i act around them. I still get blinded by few affections and find myself seeking validation.. Reminding me the human in me is still there..
Nights like this, when am all alone with our memories you adorned once, Will i be vulnerable if i admit am missing you..?Will you still wrap me in your blankets and keep me safe from the world? Will you wake me up from this nightmare and tell me it was a bad dream? Will you keep your promises this time, for all the dawns and dusks to come?
Cheers to all the dusk and dawns we shared For all the waves we conquered together I wish i said this enough sister.. I felt safe with you..
Tucking the unruly curls fanning her freckled face, she walked along the sidelines, chasing another dusky eve of anonymous autum night.. Browny clusters of leaves crumbled under her bare feet, smudging the mist of yesterdays, shadowing her tomorrows with them.
She stopped at the very familar rock bed holding the Ocean apart from the shore, which was all along her destination. Setting apart the worn out journal in her hands near her torned sweater, her gaze locked with the scarlet hues in the sky, as if it was blushing under the heated gaze of the God of Dawn, the Sun.
Her bare feet dangling from the rock, experimentally touched the wet sand under her, it felt nice to be at the receiving end of affection some times, she mused.. The waves caressed the shore and whimpered desperately when the ocean pulled them back to the never ending depths inside its bosom. Still the waves kept coming back to the shore, fighting against the odds, and back to home.
Oh! They would make a great pair! The nomadic wanderer breeze nodded to her inner thoughts..she breathed the new stories lingering in the warm breaths of breeze blanketing her frail frame, all alone, amidst a dusky eve in a rock bed. She knew the familiar scenary that will play like a movie before her eyes..
The sky will start protesting in pallets of yellow and red against the departure of Sun, like a child abandoned. Soon the Ocean would devour the Sun. Midnight stars would inhale the aroma of the scarlet hue Sun left behind. Lantern lights would adorn the ships going to neverlands where the moon rains stars and Sun snows.. But she will remain the same, all alone, amidst the rock bed.
Her eyes held an autumn which couldn't fall anymore, for she knows, there will be no hands to hold her forlorn weeds. Her heart, now a graveyard of sunny memories coated with the spring memoirs left behind by temporary moments and companions.. Her Soul, frosted with the icy despairs of loneliness, Winter gifted her..
She sat along the rock bed, breathing the stars, hoping they would heal her scars. She wished the night never ends for she can still dream that the moon will shine the night, just for her.. Her journal left behind for the breeze to steal her scars, she closed her eyes, hoping the dawn never comes..
It was already half past 2 in the afternoon Granny was visiting the headquarters, she had decided to leave everything behind if only Sarah could stay. But nothing usually goes the way you want it to. While she was there Sarah received a call and she headed there.
'Granny, you are here, I was also asked to be here. Is anything going to happen.' she asked granny curiously.
A silk cloth letter appeared after lights, Sarah picked it up. The letter read. 'Sarah. You shouldn't have tried to discover the past. You are bound to get punished. That's how it works. There are no exceptions. So, you're requested to report. Miss Maya should also get back to the headquarters the earliest. ' As she read this, she felt no sense of life. She wasn't a human, she could even die of tears, there's was nothing to hold, since the beginning. Granny also read it. Granny had already written a letter for some ease in punishment for Sarah. She was confused. She thought maybe her letter wasn't delivered. She asked Sarah to go home for now. And that she would solve the issues on her own.
Sarah wasn't ready to accept this. She didn't worry about her punishment. She was worried about Granny, she never wanted to join the headquarters. Besides if she would leave who would stay with Jay. While thinking about these things she arrived home. Jay was already back from the fields. He had got home some medicinal herbs for granny and flowers to send them to the tea market.
When Sarah entered home, she asked him to come back soon after delivering the flowers. To which he agreed. When Jay came back in the evening he asked her about Granny, Sarah told him that she has joined the headquarters, she wouldn't be joining them. Jay felt sad. Sarah hugged him and told him that she's sorry. She shouldn't have come here. She came and brought all the miseries to Granny and him.
' Whenever one tries to pluck the flowers, thorns prick you as well. It's the same case. Forget about it. ' Jay replied.
' Give me a minute, I'll bring you some water. ' She told him. And went to the kitchen she was given this water back in the headquarters by granny. Granny had asked her to make sure Jay drinks it so that he forgets about every sadness that knocked on his door. While pouring the water into the glass, She thought that this is the best way out. She would disappear soon, if she could help granny and Jay by doing this, then she must not hesitate. ' Even if he forgets me, I'll be happy to see him living his life without stress. ' she thought to herself.
' I'm sorry, all these years I never told you, anything even when I knew it all. I'm sorry Jay.' Granny apologized softly.
'it is not your fault. It was meant to happen. It's okay. That day was the time-lapse. I knew everything. I've heard you speaking, confessing when I was asleep. It's not your fault. I wanted to tell you, you never did anything on purpose. Don't blame yourself. Please.' he comforted her.
' You.. you heard me all the time?'
'Not all, but many times.'
Granny felt the aches in her heart, at all times whenever she felt guilty, she would go to Jay's room and say sorry while jay was asleep.
' Jay, even though I'm an angel, I'm supposed to not harm anyone, I'm supposed to never interfere with humans. But I hurt you, I also hurt Sarah. You, my child, are better than any angel could be. Ten years ago, When I found you, I got you as my mission, to look after you and see what I did wrong, and to find the drawbacks of the wring I did. You are my last mission. I destroyed your family, I troubled Sarah. I'm no good..'
Jay didn't let her finish ' I won't hear that nonsense. You are my best granny who makes the best food. You did no wrong.'
' Now don't tell me you are staying up till the dawn and worry over what happened all these times. Go and get some rest. Got me?' Jay accompanied her to the room and made sure Granny would sleep.
The next morning, when Sarah woke up, Granny and Jay were ready with breakfast to brighten her up. They had breakfast without talking about the weights putting all the three down.
Jay asked Sarah to come with her. He took her to the forests. Both recalled their childhood, how they would run after frogs, catch butterflies. After reminiscing, Sarah asked Jay that wants to meet her dad for the last time. Jay nodded and the two took off to the Old Man's House as they knocked on the door he came to answer it.
'it is you two, you kids are strange. What can I do for you?'
'uncle, she came here to apologise for yesterday.' Jay replied.
'oh, wow you kids know how to apologise? That's nice. Come inside. '
Sarah went inside without wasting a second. She spoke 'Sir, I'm sorry for yesterday. As an apology please take this.' she gave him his favourite Pink Carnation flowers she wanted to tell him, she's his daughter but she knew what was coming, it was better to stay put. The old man asked the housework to get some snacks and tea for them. Sarah enjoyed spending time with his father even when it was short she knew she would cherish it million times.
Sarah was near the riverbank, all this was too much for anyone to comprehend. She went to the church, in hope, seeking answers. She felt nothing, and at the same time, the hurricane inside her couldn't even leave her in ruins. She was wondering. Her mission was just to get granny back. Why then did she find her past self, why she collided with his father, with the angel who took her away, with the roads she danced on.
' how's this right, All this is unequal. You do nothing bad to good ones, what bad was done by me? '
' was it necessary to give me this mission. I have done so many mistakes. I know. But this time, it's not something you'd ignore. You would've known everything. Why? Why did I, Granny, Jay, my father, everyone... have to go through this. '
'I love you. You're the creator. I'll take the punishment instead. I don't need to be reincarnated. One life is enough. But please make the lives of others better. Don't punish Granny. Please. Don't do all this to Jay. Please, God. I'm praying to you. Please accept my prayers.'
After letting it all out, she left the church and found Jay at the stairs.
'Why are you here, I thought you were an atheist?' she asked trying to mask her insides.
' I - I was looking for you Janv... Sarah'. Jay spoke.
Sarah noticed that he already knew it all. She wanted to open up, but opening up comes with prices to pay. She choose to stay silent and both of them started walking out. The weight of the silence was getting heavier. After all this, Jay thought this time he shouldn't let the time decide anything he must do something. And he spoke. ' I know, you know everything. I'm sorry. But, you shouldn't stay here. You must leave this place. ' Sarah was confused she asked him ' can you help me one last time, can you help me visit my dad. Will you take care of him? He's growing old.' ' don't worry, he's a man of knowledge. He's the best man here. I will make sure he's fine. ' he smiled.
It was getting dark, Granny was waiting for them at home. As they opened the gate they found her on the bench in the garden waiting. She ran and hugged Sarah. ' I'm sorry, it's all my fault. Only if I hadn't made a mistake that time, both of your lives would have been different. You would never come across this cruel time.' Sarah tried to wipe Granny's tears, she told her it's okay. And that it wasn't her fault. After consoling each other Granny asked her to get some rest. And Sarah went to rest early in her room. Granny told Jay that she needs to talk to him.