guesswho

I am a 21 year old poet from Austria. I love cats, books, chocolate and wine. (And sheep and chickens)

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  • guesswho 1d

    A CHILDHOOD IN TREES

    And I would run
    Around the neighborhood
    And run and
    Climb up trees.
    And pick some cherries off of them
    I'd run onto the streets.

    I'd run and play some games
    With mates.
    I'd run and jump and walk.
    I'd throw some rocks -
    And hit some birds
    And drew on
    Grounds with chalk.

    I'd play with friends
    And kissed some girls.
    I'd run all day along.
    I'd run until my mother called
    My name and sent me home.

    And sometimes I would
    Get too far -
    I barely heard her call.
    And then I only prayed for her
    To not be mad or cross.

    But as it was
    She usually was -
    She found me on the street.
    She'd drag me home and
    Yell at me
    And make me sit and eat.

    And while I knew
    I had messed up
    She looked and said to me:
    "You just wait till Dad gets home."
    And I would start to weep.

    But father was
    A lovely man.
    He barely even yelled.
    He'd act as if he's beating you
    But beat the bed instead.

    And I would laugh
    Though I should cry
    But it was funny too!
    And I would leave the bedroom -
    Rub my ass -
    But knew she knew.

    She looked at me
    And even if
    I didn't get a smack -
    She'd look at me
    And smack me with
    Those eyes
    That were near black.

    So, next time
    I knew not to run
    Too far -
    Oh, what a lie!

    I ran and
    Repeated my acts -
    Regardless of
    Mum's eyes.
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 1w

    WORDSWORTH OR NOT

    And without another word
    She walked right
    Out of that brown door
    She walked right
    Out of my dear soul
    And hurt me
    More than much, that whore.

    I saw,
    Her wake up
    In my bed.
    I saw her laughing
    How she wept.

    And now
    Without
    Another word
    She left
    My house
    And took
    My worth.

    Am I not worth
    That little word?
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 1w

    CRAP

    My mother threw
    My Christmas card away -
    She tossed it
    In the trash.
    She took a look
    And said to me
    "Who is this ugly hag?"
    I thought I'd drawn her
    Beautifully.
    I thought I was real good.
    And then I answered
    Through my teeth.
    "No, mummy, it is you."

    For that she slapped me
    In my face.
    She said
    "That's disrespect."
    So, next Christmas
    I'll draw her 'gain
    With flowers in her head.

    Because I want
    My Mummy to
    Be happy
    With my crap.
    Now, that's a word
    I learned from her
    Though teachers say it's bad.
    But Mummy says it's good
    It helps "eleviate" the stress.

    So, once she slapped -
    I ran away
    And hid from her
    Footsteps
    But hearing them creep up
    On me
    I whispered in my head:
    --
    "Crap."
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 3w

    A BREAK

    I need a break from love
    From y'all.
    From us.
    I need to be
    Me.
    Not me and you.
    Not yours.
    Not Mum.
    Not wife.
    Not sis.
    Not daughter.
    Just me.

    I need to have
    Identity
    That's not bound
    To someone else.
    I need to be
    Mary Kate.
    Not mummy
    Love
    Or honey -
    Babe.

    I need to leave
    You here alone
    For I need to
    Be myself.
    I need to have
    A quiet place.

    I need to be
    At peace.
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 5w

    DAY AND NIGHT

    Morning darkness
    Is different to
    Night darkness.
    It's uglier. It's darker, and also not.
    It has a certain lightness to it
    That
    Makes you wanna
    Throw up.

    It tries to be brighter
    And fails miserably.
    And as you walk at 5 am.
    Or 6 or what the time is then -
    As you walk you learn to hate it
    More with each step you take.

    And if you're one of those
    Who get up at 4
    To run or jog.
    If you're one of those -

    I bet you were the annoying kind.
    The annoying kid at school
    That wouldn't let
    Others win.
    And if others failed -
    Laughed at them.

    I bet you were
    The "best" of all.

    Let me tell you.
    Being the best -
    In comparison to others -
    Is not an achievement.

    Being the best -
    In comparison to yourself -
    Is.

    And don't tell me
    You run for yourself.
    Don't argue a point
    You don't have.

    Because even if it's true.
    It's sad.
    That you -
    Waste your time
    Running without being chased.

    Chill out. Relax. Get fat. Get comfy.
    And don't go into
    The disgusting dark of morning.
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 5w

    MOTHER FEAR

    Let me clarify
    Anxiety for you -
    Picture a conversation:

    Even if you just think
    Of having an opinion
    It creeps up right
    Behind you.
    And hovers. And waits.

    And then how dare you think
    That you could share that thought -
    It raises up your pressure
    And slaps you back in place.

    It's like a horrid parent.
    Chastises when you're happy.
    A narcissistic mother
    That loves to see you fail.

    It's the reason
    You don't listen
    To music on the train.
    You think theses headphones
    Look
    Dumb on that little brain.

    And bedtime stories are
    A guide on
    How to be.
    A guide on how to walk,
    Eat and how to speak.

    And in there
    Mother reads
    Some conversations loud.
    And asks you
    To remember
    Which words come
    Where and how.

    And if you fail the task
    Of speaking freely
    Then
    She'll belt that tiny arse
    Till you can only stand.

    And only so much either
    As knees get weak as well.

    A horrid parent
    Mother -
    Succeeds
    In every plan.
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 8w

    TODAY

    I'm feeling exhausted and anxious.
    My heart is beating
    I feel nauseous.
    Annoyed. Like really mad
    And at the same time sad.

    I feel like I'm spiraling out of control.
    Like I'm not good enough.
    Like it's my own fault.
    I feel like I shouldn't complain
    Like I have no right to my own feelings.
    Like I should be glad that I got here.
    I feel like...

    I feel like my head is filled with water
    Like I have a veil in front of my eyes
    And I can't see clearly.

    I get scared everytime I get a message - the sound it makes.
    I feel so overwhelmed
    I feel like I'm trying to surve on waves
    That are meant to swallow me.

    I feel like everyone else is doing
    A better job than me.
    Is more successful than me.
    Is more knowledgeable
    Is more organised
    Is more relaxed.

    I feel alone.
    I know I'm not.
    I know people feel like
    This often.
    I know it's normal,
    But that doesn't change how I feel.

    I feel like
    I just want to cry
    But with that I would waste my time.
    I can't cry.
    I don't have time for it.

    I feel like I just
    Don't want this week anymore when it's
    Not even begun.

    I feel like I'm in a cycle of
    Negative thoughts.
    I'm cold.
    I'm scared.
    It's too much.

    I'm setting a small bar
    And I feel like it's resting
    On my head with too many kilos.
    And I'm trying to
    1.Balance the bar on my head
    2.Not break my neck
    3.Walk forward while it's pressing down on me
    I can feel my heart beat fast, making me shaky
    I can feel my stomach not feeling secure.

    I am too stressed.
    I write like a robot. I work like a robot. I write words down but I'm nowhere with my thoughts. Not even somewhere else.

    I'm tired.
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 9w

    CONTROL

    You say you're your own man
    While yawning when someone
    Else yawns.

    You say I can't control
    Your thoughts
    When we've got cults
    Everywhere.

    You say I can't control
    Your belief system
    When we're surrounded
    By religions.

    You say you control
    What you do
    While you moving your leg
    When the doctor smacks your knee.

    You say you're in
    Control of your fate
    When healthy people
    Get cancer.

    You say
    You're in
    Control of the
    Length
    Of your life
    When we say
    We only die when forogotten.

    What are we in control of then?
    When we have people controlling
    What goes into our minds.
    When we've got people
    Controlling what comes out of it. (censor)
    When we've got circumstances
    And chances
    And life expectancies.

    We are not
    In control of our lives.
    Even when we kill ourselves -
    Circumstances brought us there -
    Chemical imbalances
    Make us more likely to kill ourselves.
    So even if we're depressed,
    And commit suicide
    It wasn't solely our decision -

    Without the imbalance
    We might not even be there.

    Tell me again we have free will
    When you're barely able to choose what you want to eat in a restaurant without influence.
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 10w

    By unknown writer

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    ATTACHMENT

    Isn't it better
    To not be attached
    Because then
    It doesn't hurt
    When they die
    ©poetry.by.dilay

  • guesswho 11w

    IRONY

    I obviousingly
    Told you
    By shutting my gob,
    Didn't I?
    ©poetry.by.dilay