Quotes and poetry by helpshark

Cool

I tried everything but I just couldn't please her
So I married the upright fridge freezer
She knows me and what I'm about
We just sit in the kitchen and chill out

©helpshark

helpshark 114w

Why

My birthday would of been oh so cool
If it just managed to follow the rule
And now I'm just wondering why
I was born on the 3rd of July...

©helpshark

helpshark 114w

Bean

There are four hundred beans on my toast
But I'm not sure which one I like the most
Some are much more saucy than others
It depends on how liberally it smothers

I've taken care of most of the sauce
And now I'm making my decision of course
There it is, it's that one..I've found it
Now I've just got to try and eat around it.

©helpshark

helpshark 114w

Cummings and Goings...

The government said to me stay home
So I got into my car
We were feeling a little under the weather
But it wasn't very far

Just a two hundred and sixty mile round trip
We we're poorly and a little bit stressed
All the opticians were closed you see
It was so hard to get an eye test

And in those circumstances
So not to cause any hassle
I like to go drive down the motorway
A bit blind.....but I do like a castle

And later my boss told me off a bit
But promised me a pardon
If I got my pasting table out
And talked about it in the back garden.

©helpshark

helpshark 114w

The Daily Stress Conference

Stay in go out do as we say
You're not from public schools
How could you possibly understand
We're here to make some rules

The ones in suits behind closed doors
Deciding what can be seen
Orchestrating the facts and the figures
The secret covid nineteen

They stand as if to baffle us
With our daily dose and reliance
On manipulated graphs and charts
That twist and turn the science

The think tank is dangerous and out of control
Driven by Dad's army
And the circus clown from Eton
Who's funny and a little bit barmy

But as long as there is a slogan
Something catchy they can repeat
To quote during difficult questioning
We can conquer, we can defeat...

The blundering incompetence
Is the last indignant blow
They claim the ship is steady
But we hit the iceberg long ago

It's the government daily stress conference
Forced upon them by demand
By the public who only seek the truth
And not just slight of hand....

©helpshark

helpshark 115w

Can't Breathe

You stand there so powerful
Full of hatred and greed
And in your own tiny mind
You believe that you can lead

Your cities are on fire
And your people are so tired
Of your own self promotion
And the people that you hired

To smile so politely
While you're making a speech
As you bleed the country dry
Like an illiterate leech

You hold up the bible
Like a prop in a show
But you've never read a book
It's so obvious we know

So go back to your towers
And your sparkling gold lift
Where the mirror inside
Tells you that your God's gift

The lack of intelligence
Is beyond our belief
The cheese burger king,
Commander and chief

Your choking a nation
That wants to believe
Listen to your people
Because your country can't breathe.....

©helpshark

helpshark 117w

The fish who wished he could fly

He said I know I'm just a fish
And my ambitions are set way too high
But I think I've really always been
The fish who wished he could fly

I swim around and I dream
Of such incredible things
Like the birds that fly like angels
And how I long to have wings

So the whale flicked him up like a baseball
He broke the surface and went way up high
And just for a few fabulous seconds
He was the fish that had managed to fly

And now every afternoon on a Thursday
The whales all meet up, place a bet
And the fish who wished he could fly does his thing
To see just how high he can get.....

©helpshark

helpshark 118w

Glass

I take the drama, the ridicule
I absorb it and forgive
It fills me up empowers me
With the energy to live

The knives that tear the deepest
Into every cell and sinew
This form of love and anger
Was this always there within you

And soon we are in love again
This hurricane will pass
As I stand before you, bulletproof
When I'm really made of glass....

©helpshark

helpshark 118w

Bread and Butter

I stand imperfect before you
The one with greasy feet
Losing my faith in humanity
With the more people I meet

I lack the courage or knowledge
I know little of understanding
I forgot to look before I leapt
And I'm not sure where I am landing

So if my life is my bread and butter
And I choose just who I am
I'd like to be the buttery knife
That somebody left in the jam....

©helpshark

helpshark 119w

The Vicar who ate all the Biscuits

The vicar who ate all the biscuits
Is becoming a bit of a pest
He's eaten all the digestives
And now he's coming back for the rest

We shouldn't of answered the door to him
That was clearly our mistake
He's asked us to put the kettle on
And noticed that we have cake

He says he's doing the Lord's work
And it will benefit us all much later
So we have to fill him with tea and scones
And the contents of the refrigerator

Next time he knocks at the door
I know where I'm going to be
Ill be eating all of the biscuits
Then hiding behind the setee

©helpshark