There's a transparent ocean in your eyes. So many things left unsaid tossed in the waves as I steal glances, always afraid of touching what lies in the dark, dangerous and foreboding.
My anxiety sits in a corner. It reminds me that there's a good reason to be wary because I am the only one who ends up getting hurt when it comes to you.
I have never known the address of your heart, even though it shares the same street as mine. Your house is not in the same realm of existence and I cannot visit or walk through the garden because it is always closed to me. Full of poisonous plants and predatory creatures who would hunt me for sport, the prey creature that I have become.
It seems that I have forgotten I used to be a lion. When did I discard my claws and fangs? Where did I misplace the roar that would make the bravest hunter shake in his dungarees, running for sanctuary?
In the folds of October's sapphire pleated skirt runs an archived tale of us, In zig zags of cave paintings, fanning wide like a peacock's feather, immortalized on red spit charcoal and mud, And God knows then, I had an unfettered wing for a limb, and an unhooked spine unrushed, gliding in sync with you on the dreamy lush of a twilight embracing an ember studded sky.
Autumn is as much a passing dream as Winter is an uninvited guest sipping on black dregs of melancholia and regrets, Burying hand stitched leaves of our psychedelic love in alien sheets of ice and frost. When the snow seeps into the roof of my naked shoulders, your furlough goodbyes that lodges deep into the doorknob of my heart, fester and wounds, like bullets fired point blank and the holler of a moribund echo recants.
I sit bereft of words now, And from the casket of ancient yesteryear's flutters the forgotten wings of an unweighed heart, waiting for the stroke of your thumb on my eyebrows and let loose my frowns into smiles. I sit bereft of words now, Waiting for the familiar touch of your warm hands to turn the doorknobs and usher the gold of Autumn in. I have never said it loud, never once in words, But God knows, the world was kinder when I had you by my side Then, I had lesser scars to sew.
My anxiety sits in the corner of my dystopian heart. I am snow and dirt glistening morosely on mud and straw. I'd like to break a wall or two, this glass beauty that separates us and see if I spurt blood that puts to shame this fiery sun and come back anew in water and dirt like earth. Help me breathe!
There's a transparent ocean inside your eyes and a poet can, but only pen lyrical ballads in your favour that puts the envious Gods to unadulterated rage. But I am no poet and I see corpses your ocean eye houses. Sepulchres, fawning eyes never see, and I wonder, I wonder if this mortal agony will last till the peals of the final trumps.
I have never known the address of Happy Endings because Love held me hostage once. I know I paid a Kingdom's ransom, most times in salty tears and so you will find me on tiptoes now, waltzing to Hozier on a fine Sunday evening by the seaside alone and you can watch me collapse, collapse into infinite nothings.
PS: ah, eccentricity #start#podben#benecc @/writersnetwork : You made my day with your comment thank youuuuu. I adore you ♥️ Thank you for the lovely repost too. @miraquill this actually feels surreal. Never thought I'll get another pod. Thank you!
Edit: inspired by an interview I read about the moon. Thank you all. I don't even know if I deserve this ♥️