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  • kaiotyk 20w

    a ballad of 4:30

    The space heater sings significantly louder than my phone speaker
    which sits under my pillow
    softly whispering into my aching ears:
    a feeling I got once, sitting in the airport
    a knot tied tightly around my stomach;
    tossing what is left of myself to give out on the line, bait and hook
    for any passerby to spot bloodied sleeves and wonder
    if pain really makes the heart grow fonder,
    or if I’d be better off suffocating in someone’s glass case
    gasping for freedom
    like a recycled thrift store buy you know you never needed.
    I’m happiest when I’m anywhere but here
    under the weight of my own sheets, I’m tied down
    cuddled into submission by my own brain trying to eat around the best parts of itself
    as the space heater next to the bed roars
    so do i.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    Silence at golden hour.
    Peace by the water
    humming a childhood tune to the Mother Earth
    in rememberence of what’s come to pass.
    In the daily commute to talk the loudest
    always living to die to be heard
    we often forget we, too
    must breathe.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    Too Sweet

    When you’re fragile but strong
    you need someone who can turn shattered glass into rain
    bend miracles to their habits
    find rhythm in silent rooms
    see all the ugly parts of you
    and wonder
    how the world got you so creatively right.

    It’s everything in a look
    the stars magnetic pull hide in their soles
    dancing on two left feet to the heartbeat of a better tomorrow
    finding the vast escapes of time are no better wasted
    dreaming of a chocolate dipped heart.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    9 to 5

    A mechanical scream into the night
    tells them the sun is rising,
    and they should too.
    It is 9 am on the east coast
    and they’re praying what’s left doesn’t remember
    who they are when they’re not gracious in pointe slippers.
    Slip free of the warm arms of their sheets
    begging them to return, and attempt peaceful sleep
    but the body follows its primal instinct:
    get it’s ass to work so it still has sheets to come back to,
    but never have long enough to truly appreciate.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    Oh man another oldie, but the metaphors in this one are too good not to put out there
    #miraquill #kaiotyk #spokenword #mentalhealth #metaphorical #depression #selfworth #improvement

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    Loving me is

    one of the hardest things I’ve ever done
    besides putting fake eyelashes on with stiletto nails:
    unless we count the pain of getting the nails on
    watching the metal scrape back cuticles
    that took years to reform after I turned them into canyons
    but I think stabbing myself in the eye
    with all the things that make me feel pretty
    might just take the cake this time.


    Loving me is
    waiting for a volcano to erode
    sink back into the flesh it came from
    and lay at peace, for once;
    less a violent 3 am shaking
    as the heart attempts to sew itself back together
    and it’s getting to the point you wonder
    if I’ve spent a single night not under the knife.
    When people tell me
    they love the beautiful chaos of life I say
    Chaos is less a cramped work schedule
    and more stretching yourself to fit it
    I am an entire undersea ship
    containing the wreckage of a thousand lives
    all scattering to clean themselves up for mermaids
    they know aren’t coming.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    I found this draft I liked, and I'm glad I did because I got to revise and add to it! This bad boy is finally finished ��
    #miraquill #kaiotyk #spokenword #improvement #selfcare #reflection #isolation #togetherness #comparison #love #relationship #friendship #family

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    Difference 365

    The most fun I’ve had in 2020
    listed by amount indulged:
    One. Dancing in my room alone
    to songs about boys who never loved me
    Two. dancing in my room alone
    to songs about boys who may have loved me at one time
    and could give a damn less now
    Three. imagining the laughter of the people
    when they realize it’s another poem
    about loving solitude more than anything else
    Four. Every time I see my younger sister smile
    Five. Realizing I’ll always be whoever I want
    and remain both nothing and everything else
    Six. Sitting in bed alone
    thinking about hugging my friends
    Seven. Hugging my friends

    The most fun I've had in 2021
    listed by amount indulged:
    One. Finding love in the obvious place, the home of arms
    that welcome you with ease
    Two. Hobbies become fun again, the daily grind now but a pile of dust
    that has lessened its grip on my mind
    Three. Posing for Polaroids with my favorite ring of human beings
    Four. Imaging the laughter of the people when they realize it's a new poem
    about embracing the change for once instead of
    sad boy central up in this bitch
    Five. Seeing my loved ones smile
    Six. Sitting in bed shoulder to shoulder
    thinking about the possibilities of tomorrow
    Seven. Getting to tomorrow.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    Roots

    The garden of Eden surely had its weeds
    we all do, I think;
    small obscenities that shake your core
    attempting to understand roots you never asked for
    looking back at the daily and wondering
    if you’d taken better care, would you be here?—
    shivering as the icy winds of uncertainty
    lightly cup your cheek,
    with sadness dripping from its whispers
    It doesn’t matter, the quaking leaves hum
    it never mattered, no...
    a weed has as much life as every flower
    every fruit, every snake that tells you
    you are nothing—
    it is only you who can choose
    what you gain from the ground you are planted in.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    Gunshot

    Gunpowder drags
    through my every vain
    just waiting to be ignited—
    a girl on fire, a being of wonder
    exploding into every deadly beautiful opportunity
    this disgusting world has to offer.
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    The Taste of Music

    Freedom is a beat
    the heart aches for
    a song only you can savor
    words of the wild
    too sweet on your tongue
    bumping into the corners
    of your own mortality
    and letting your love
    hang loose
    ©kaiotyk

  • kaiotyk 20w

    "Poetry for Women"

    I am so fucking sick of male poets
    telling me my smoky breath yearns for healing
    or whatever excuse they have to make me feel
    ‘grounded again’.
    If I can get sick without you
    I’ll become better while you watch
    starving for credit
    while a single drop of fire from my eyes
    burns your toxic metaphors to the ground.
    ©kaiotyk