moonchild ^_^ M here 2 express in words what lies hidden in the depths of my heart, things I can't & won't express otherwise

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  • maryamfarooq 3w

    Broken wing

    The butterfly broke it's wing today. One broken wing rendered the whole body useless. The other one remains attached at its place looking painfully incomplete and lonely. Now, the butterfly neither looks as beautiful nor can it fly any longer. Nothing feels the same anymore.
    The broken wing, though useless, still had a piece of her heart. She kept it enclosed within a golden box, unwilling to part it from herself. It'll remain there till the next infinity...

  • maryamfarooq 5w

    The silence was loud enough

    The silence was loud enough to make the kid sober and get it back to reality.
    It fell from the dreamy cloud with a slight thud, apparently unscathed but something somewhere, perhaps just a small part had cracked if not broken.
    It must have been that crack from where the reality had seeped in.
    The beautiful illusion had been brutally murdered. What had survived was a plain and unremarkable reality.
    The kid with a small mysteriously knowing smile approached her, held her hand & began to walk away.
    Had this all been expected beforehand or was everything being accepted as fate?
    Nobody knew and will probably never know.

  • maryamfarooq 12w

    Then she suddenly thought, I need to heal myself first. But how does it work, she questioned, can one heal while still hurting?

  • maryamfarooq 13w

    She would be bright & joyful through out the day & then something would remind her of the dull pain in her heart as the coldness of the night engulfed her. The pain would bring out the silent tears. With teary eyes, shivering soul & heavy heart, she would hug her knees and sit there alone consoling herself till the pain faded. Tomorrow, she would smile, laugh & be the light, not just to herself but also for the ones who she thought struggled with darkness.

  • maryamfarooq 14w

    Find your happiness. Don't wait for anyone or anything, just find it yourself. The less it has to do with people in your life (with whom you could consciously or subconsciously associate your expectations) the better.

  • maryamfarooq 18w

    The thing is that nobody loves you at your worst except your parents. So, the least you could do is be filial to them..!

  • maryamfarooq 25w

    I've decided to evolve. I'll be the person no one can ever break. I'll be the human who might choose to be with people but never needs anyone. I'll love myself a little more everyday till I am sure that I love myself the most. I'll either not expect anything from anyone or keep my expectations extremely low. When I do something for someone I won't be expecting anything in return. The few people I've loved and cared about so deeply don't really need to love me back or care for me the way I care for them. I'll always love myself so much that it's enough for me and love from external sources can only be surplus but never a requirement. I'll learn and practice loving art of detachment. I've realised that being emotionally dependent can be extremely toxic. I crave independence in every sense. I'll know my demons, owe them & force them for submission. The voices in my head are no longer allowed to trouble me. We have to live together forever but I'll be the one in power. It's time to be the Phoenix and rise from the ashes. It's going to be a long journey but it's worth it. ❤

  • maryamfarooq 31w

    Unceremonious endings

    Dear friend, wasn't it a little too unceremonious?
    Are we still just drifting apart or did the friendship end without a goodbye? I am not blaming you, I'll never... I'm painfully conscious of how anti social I can be. See, even you couldn't handle it, could you? These are my demons. This is my dark side, I guess... Not everyone can wait while I disappear in the abyss till I'm ready to face the light, the world and the people again. It can at times take too long...
    Anyway, I don't like unceremonious endings, you see. So let me bid my adieu properly.
    I'll always be grateful for the beautiful time we've spent together, even if it was evanescent.
    I'm grateful for all the kind and encouraging words, for all the beautiful memories... I'll remember you as a dear friend. Thank you for everything!
    I hope and pray that your life be filled with bliss.
    Thank you once again :) 16/06/21

  • maryamfarooq 32w

    Time and again, I realised that being an ice queen is better than being vulnerable and broken.

  • maryamfarooq 34w

    Don't let it break.

    I'm trusting you one last time with everything that's left of my soul. Please don't break it this time. I am afraid that my soul will disperse somewhere in the vastness of the universe. If it was broken, I'll be losing an important person among the few people I've ever let inside my world. I won't be able to trust you or anyone else ever again.