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  • nikitabinigoswami 7w

    Bura waqt buri chize sath le ata hai,
    waqt beet jata hai,ghao sukh jate hai,
    apne anjan banjate hai
    bas yadein reh jate hai;
    bittersweet memories.

  • nikitabinigoswami 27w

    Why do flowers wilt?
    -To remind us that external beauty doesn’t last forever.


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    Why do flowers wilt?
    -To remind us that external beauty doesn’t last forever.

  • nikitabinigoswami 30w


    Time has robbed me of myself,
    Pieces by pieces;slowly,
    Like the moon loses its visiblity,
    To complete darkness,every15th day,
    I lose parts of me to Quasar,
    An irreversible change giving birth to,
    Cosmic black holes feeding on the leftovers.
    My half-tattered heart is a white hole,
    Spitting heartbreaking melancholic stanzas;
    Bouncing away from love avengers.
    Now left behind traces of my soul,
    Breathe in,thanatophobia of the poet,
    Breathe out;hoaxical relief of poetry.

    / I don’t know if this makes any sense/

    And to those who still read me I am sorry for this one :)

    I will revert back to y’all shortly🤍

    @writersnetwork, hoping against hopeless hope

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  • nikitabinigoswami 32w

    Unlike you,I have the habit of evading things before time.

    I remember you having a cupboard full of letters and photographs that you had abandoned to touch since 8 long years.

    I never understood you,your ways,or when you said me that you have lost what it takes to love someone.

    I just admired the whole of you;without any reasons or conditions.

    I hated cigarettes, but I fell for the way you smoked them and then I started smoking too.

    You loved writing,mostly after you were drunk with the melancholy of broken promises.

    I remember you dipping burnt feathers of hope into bloodshed ink , writing endlessly about the love that ended with time,but never in your heart.

    I remember you warning me to stay away because you feared that the disability of not being able to love, was something like a contagious disease and years after we happened I today admit that you were definitely right.

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    - “Destiny is of course a thing”

    You made me believe this,
    While I was an atheist.

  • nikitabinigoswami 34w

    To all those, I have ever loved,

    I’m writing to you today and I know you don’t remember my name now but I hope you recognise the way I am about to curve out melancholic metaphors out of innocent words.

    It’s been forever,ever since we left the road on it’s mid-way,the roads we started together and ended up apart.

    I met you at the most unexpected place,in my silliest tone and slopiest look.It was awkward but eventually ,I got comfortable being my weird self around you.
    I stopped tieing up hair into a tidy bun,and I lay down with you under starry nights,wearing my lose fitted T-shirts and trousers.

    You loved making promises;brittle like the galss show pieces you gifted me on my birthdays,
    no matter how delicately I held them each time , they would either get cracked,broken or lost.

    I remember giving up and losing myself to my own demons,but I don’t remember a single night when I did not fight against your demons for you.

    I always tried to be your knight, protecting you against all dangers, evils and pain of bad luck only to lose you one day to your destined person.
    And like all knights in the stories I knew I was not your destiny but I was just happy being a part of your luck.
    I fought and lost against my own destiny to make you meet yours.

    The days we held hands,I saw how my fingers could never fill in the gaps between yours,no matter how many times or how much I tried,.

    I tried fitting myself into your small room without any ventilation untill I choked myself and lost my vision to the shining glimmer of your past and new lovers.

    I walked the way to my own love’s funeral,like a moth that is lured in to a flame . I lost irreplaceable parts of me while accompaning you through your dark tunnel of ill-fate and low-key emotions just to witness you evaporate away to somewhere you chose to belong,like the dew drops that sleep with the moon only to abandon it to the slight flirt of sunlight.

    My heart has broken into smaller and smaller pieces and now there is nothing left behind to break anymore.

    It feels like the lines of luck and love were misplaced on my palms otherwise maybe at least once you were meant to stay.

    But I have never believed in finding or settling down with any kind of love.

    All I believe is that love is a journey that leads us to our destined home but not all travellers have a destination,some are vagabonds happy with or without any home.

    /P.S. - This song [Who Am I ?] often reminds me of me,because I am one of those vagabonds,used to letting go of comforts;either house or people and living happily ever after/

    ✨I have wished on every shooting star for my love to stay and now the entire sky is blank and I miss those starry nights✨

    I wish you would stay, but then I will never ask you “why” when you wave me the final good-bye ❤️

    [You are my last love not because you will stay till my last breath but because after you leave this time,I will close the door behind you so that no body can ever come in to me]

    Image courtesy- Subhana Sharma(my friend)

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  • nikitabinigoswami 39w

    I don’t know
    How it feels
    To be hungry
    and then savour
    Every bite of food
    I’ve been chewing
    Feelings to churn
    My blood with emotions
    But despite that,
    The four rooms of my heart,
    Are filled with Emptiness,
    And slowly my entire,
    Body,Mind and Soul,
    Are being evacuated of;
    Fluids,thoughts & consciousness,
    While the vast spaces in my Universe,
    Of dead stars and failed planets;
    Their skies are now soaked,
    With heavy guilts,
    That has its roots to some,
    Infinite cause,
    That I can read in a blurred Vision,
    Is Existence itself.



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    Skies bowing down with guilt.

  • nikitabinigoswami 40w

    My not so dear Self,

    I’m sorry for not being able to have loved you,
    At times when you needed it the most,
    When all you craved for was some mere acceptance,
    When you begged through my eyes to bleed pain,
    And all I did was choke you into a silent smile;
    And laugh with giggles that echoed with pretense.
    I kept saying you “its all fine,happens”
    I adorned you with a mask and slowly suffocated you,
    Untill I actually killed you,
    and your corpse is rotting down,
    with vapours filling up my voids with emptiness,
    Which feels much heavier than the tears,
    That you buried in them while you were alive.

    But can orphans be healthy parents?
    And do children with broken homes ever find a home again?
    Explains why I failed to nurture you in the right way,
    I tried to protect you behind an opaque curtain of darkness;
    From the demons you were unaware of,out here,
    More dangerous than the predators that
    co - existed with us.

    I wish I had had some mercy on you on those nights;
    When I locked you up like a child that is punished for crying after being beaten blue-black.

    I wish I had the courage to hold your hand,
    And walk you across the garden of love like a mother,
    I wish I had taken care of you like a father,
    when you fell sick and did not eat for days.

    I wish...and just wish...

    If I had chosen the other way,
    And had let you feel and express yourself,
    Right through my lips,eyes and voice,without any filters,
    I wish I had let you grow into a plant with blooms of spring,
    Rather than directly maturing you into a seed of forever dormancy.

    Lost things are always precious,aren’t they?
    and maybe that’s exactly why I miss you now.
    I miss you getting mad inside me while I act calm on the outside,
    I miss you crying like the monsoonal clouds,while my deserted lips break into a cresent,
    I miss you twinkling like the fireflies admist my labyrinths.
    I miss you mixing feelings into my blood,
    I miss you making my machine like heart feel broken,
    I miss you making me “feel” everything that is otherwise meant to be felt.
    ~ I miss feeling not okay,because I know its not okay to be okay with everything.

    :\ Makes no sense eh!?

    /A condolence to the self that I killed/



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  • nikitabinigoswami 41w

    You were 6 year old and it was the first summer rain while you sat next to me in the balcony watching the garden full of white lilies beneath it, asking what ever hurt me the most and I smiled saying, " unsaid goodbyes" while you chuckled as if that was the funniest answer you could hear . I wished only if you knew or I could tell you.

    That innocent laughter of yours revived a similar voice which otherwise laid dead under the graveyard of my memories.

    Years ago sitting with someone on that same balcony, I asked her the same question that you asked me and she said with much strength that nothing could hurt her and maybe I took it way more seriously than she meant.

    She was the best person I had ever met. She had the exact pair of eyes that you resemble and trust me there was surely some magic hidden in the way she looked at me,for each time she did I would wish for the time to freeze so I could get lost in the labyrinths of the vast galaxy that found home in her pair of hazels.

    She was the best lover anyone could ever have and if you would seen her seeing me I bet you would have idealised your lover to look at you in the same way.

    We were the happiest humans together. Her love bloomed new promises everyday while mine was reaching new heights.

    We made this home far away from the crowds because we wanted to keep our love safe from the judgements of being socially right or wrong. We knew our love was too pure to be understood by dusty - mundane minds. So, this high valley became our peaceful abode of togetherness, far away from the noise of the big and small cities.

    This place remained out of reach of everyone else except us.

    With her, even the autumns would drip hope and prosperity with each of its falling leaf and winter winds would ignite the passion of our hearts to interwine and beat together in synchrony.

    After 13 springs of togetherness we finally decided to give our love a body and life. With much pain and secrecy you were embedded into her womb and after 9 months of penance you were born to us .You brought out the unexperienced yet always careful and loving parents in us. You became the living existence of our love.

    Life seemed to be perfect.

    Untill one afternoon while you were cradling in the 6 month of your life.
    I was sitting on the same balcony waiting for the onset of twilight while she stood beside me waiting to unfold out the darkest night of my life.

    She held my hands with a sudden fright and I could feel the trembling in them. I looked at her and for the first time she looked away from me. My heart felt a kind of suffocation it never felt before.

    I wrapped up her in my arms and asked her what it was.After two hours of crying her lips finally gathered the courage to move and with each of her words she was slowly killing me. She shattered my faith in love. She said she could no longer live in an illegitimate relationship ,hidden from the world. She said me I was wrong for her,we were for socially unacceptably and that you were a mere sign of an immoral love.

    I cried and begged her to have mercy. I tried explaining her that love doesn't care about the two bodies being same or opposites before binding them into one.
    But she kept packing up her stuff and telling me if only either of one was not born as a woman our love would have lasted till forever.

    I kept begging her to stay and finally after much pleading she decided to wait only for that night for the last time .

    In the intial few hours before the dawn I laid down beside her, wondering if it was all just a bad dream.

    It was about 3:30 when she suddenly woke up quite disturbed and grabbed me into a passionate kiss which led our bodies to experience the holy moment of salvation and oneness; where she was me and I was her. Our bodies shared the same soul and it was allowed to breathe for the last time.

    The sun had begun to rise and I could see the soft curve of her body shining like the crescence of the moon.

    Our last time was about to come to an end.

    Just then, she rolled over on top of me and gripped my face firmly while my hands traced the familiar collar bones seated at the base of her neck. She looked at me right into my eyes. With much innocence she asked me if I was hurt and if I would ever forget her.

    I was silent for a long time. I turned pale and remained motionless like a dead body with my eyes wide open staring at her face.
    And before my own silence started deafening me I slided my fingers slowly closer to the vocal cords of that sweet voice which was still ringing in my ears despite the noisy silence.
    Then I somehow smiled and told her "unsaid goodbyes hurt me me the most" with the last word that breathed out of my lips I choked her into a deep slumber of death with the same hands that were caressing her just a few moments ago.

    Her soul left my body with an unsaid goodbye.

    I kissed her corpse for quite long before I cremated her right under the balcony which now embeds the garden of your and her favourite white lilies.

    11 years later, today on your 17th birthday while you have come to the end of this letter, you have also come closer to the final goodbye that I'm bidding off to you today.

    I wish you will also water my favorite pink lilies that will start growing after somedays exactly beneath this balcony.
    Love Forever,


    /I feel I had to write this because killing is illegal/


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  • nikitabinigoswami 43w

    I’ve never learnt to love my poems,
    So I instead burn most of them,
    While the rest are drowned in the remnants of my bloodshed;
    Of the feelings that I kill every time,
    I smell a new rose - bud is about to blossom;
    Into a spring, that I always starved for,
    But my hunger is now used to sleeping with emptiness,
    Rather than wanting to chew efforts down,
    And falling into an illusion of satisfying the black holes,
    That are camouflaged between the stars twinklin’ in my eyes.
    There are vast voids in my space,
    Where my galaxy is floating,
    Their creators decorated my light years with darkness,
    And abandoned me right after their final touch;
    Pushed me away as an untouchable;deprived,
    To draw water from the well ;he laboured to dig,
    And I still haven’t learnt to love myself,
    So I wrap up pieces of my soul with poetry;
    To feed the stray orphans generously,
    Wandering,streets across the graveyard,
    Searching;the box of happiness,
    Destiny stole away from;closet of life.


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    the opposite of self love

  • nikitabinigoswami 44w

    /dear muse/

    I never thought my world of metaphors,rhymes,conjugations,adjectives and verbs would come to a final fullstop without your commas putting a halt to my wreckless verses and non uniform spaces.

    I was an addict to the slow poison of your darkness;each dose left me with an ever increasing want of a little more.

    I praised the way your poems pricked through my veins;detoxicating them from the numbess of feelings to the emptiness of emotions.

    I worshipped your pen and sprinkled my soul with it’s holy ink.I burnt my wishes for the ritual of an offering while your frozen heart melted with the warmth of my sacrifice.

    I adored you and in my prayers all I begged for was your existence but maybe that was way too much for me to beseech you.

    I woke up hence to a morning with a letter without words tucked under my pillow.



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