#8yrswithbts #happybangtanday #festa2021 Sorry guys. I was blank today, and was strucked into some work. I don't know how it is. But I scribbled three drafts. Actually I couldn't write something in a continuous manner, so I wrote bit bit type of post
Scribbled mind, Solving strikes, Unknown was I when did it start. I wanted to cry the melancholic smile, But didn't know where to hide. Now those tears entered Every creases of my heart, Bursting it into Million size. Sinking in my own soul Was the only abode I find then. I tried stretching the outline of my smile, But it was painful, Than to cry. I won the battle with Circles under my eyes, But tears flowing Corner of the sight. Soon... Zephyr flew, Trees grew, daffodils swayed savourly, Spring sprang ebbuliently. The rays of the sun Weaved every petals of the flowers, And trees giggled at every chirping. I was stoned just like A picture in a paranoid, But a purple flower was blooming in my barren land. Soon it was dawn, My eyes filled with every cold Warmth of setting sun, But I was still a picture in a paranoid. Soon it was 00:00 o' clock, And a swish of grammary Blocked my sight. I was moved out of my state, With my heart a beautiful place.
A soft voice held hands of my heart, I was moved, with every sight. I held my face to look at the sky, There shimmered seven bright stars. Their shine dominated dark. Astonished was I by looking stars hugging the sky. The night turned into a purple empyrean Daffodils turned on their lights, Everything was changed, But the seven stars remained. Now the night was singing, The breeze was dancing, And I was smiling. I found myself, Entangled with their each word, Leaving my battered self, At the unreached horizon. And now it has been eight years, They still held their hands, Enduring every dark nights, And shining bright.
"Thank you for giving me the Rose, When I was holding the thorns" - Nikitha Sharma
An idyllic breeze: Spread the sheets To her teen amongst Lushed pine of Jammu: Stitching stars to Her pashmina, And the morning Chime of 'Hami asth' Enveloped her Aura As the floral blanket to Dal. A mellifluous string: Of 1940's brew vintage, To my coffee Flaming the lyrics Of Insane balletic love Dusted with, Lissome of undivided Soul. Where the Yellowish
Remains of maple And "Iqbal"......? We're engraved in the Pages as sapphire stone Taking me to the woods And her dulcet cling Of anklets, Scattering it's pearls: Moulding the terrace For her distant touch.
The medley from, The spinning disk: Of black and white gramophone, utter verses Of the unclaimed spring When those orb, Touches his brume Amidst the split of Her mantilla: And the bowed lids with Demure of Lith. Was tangling their fleece Of heart... Scripting metaphors To the blossoms....
She waited by her emollient Brood, gazing the Silver moon; To console the wanderer, Finding the crescent She lost. And those grasses, where She poured life, swaying: Her 'phulkari dupatta' Are growing yellow, With eras of evanescent Hope, and epihermal Or eternal love till her . Wrinkled Mellow.
My inked quill, blow To the woods Where she craved Her name with Iqbal. Beyond the dash of Un(Divided) When notes touched the Zenith 'Chann kittah guzari ayi'. To distant and unseen Still can't define "It's love" And those serene pearl She dropped, God knows, how many Countless night Or counting the stars Of seperation Wrapped me with shawl of syllables To their Tangled fingers Whispering Their black and white frame as " Iqbal ........you are still mine"
___________________________________________ From the dairy of my granny....I miss u Amma ...... And her tale from undivided India of her teen from 1940.... Dedicated to the person who brought me to this poetic world....
“ How hard was it for you when your mother was not around ? You never shared such things with me , ”
Something shone in his eyes and the tip of his little finger found the outside rim of my ear and traced delicately. I found myself slipping into a pleasant passivity.
“ It was very hard. I didn't understand the gravity of the truth until it hit me fucking hard after one whole year when I realised that I was actually not gonna see her and will never be able to hear her voice. ”
My heart sank. I took his hands in mine indicating him to continue.
“ It's just that my father was never the one who really cared. Hell ! He'd never care even if I'd die. I sometimes ask myself if my existence was a problem for him or am I really that worthless or am -- ”
I left soft kisses on his knuckle as I spoke, “ You're very special and I don't give a damn about others but you're very very important to me ! ”
He braced his hands on either side of me and his warm lips slided over my neck. I felt him smile against my skin.
“ You don't know how grateful I am to have you in my life , Joanna. You don't have any idea. I wanna give you the world , ”
“ I already have one. You're a world to me !”
His breath was soft and hot against my hair.
The long , work-roughened hands found my waist , skimming upward , a callus on his finger. I was aware of every shift of his weight , the subtle movement of bone and heavy muscle. The sound of his breathing was electrifying. His lips caught at mine in a gentle kiss and he kissed me on my forehead ,
“ And I never asked you about your highschool. Your past. Your dating life ? ”
He asked me , his eyebrows raised and my face grew red. Oh no Mr. Xavier Blossom . I , who was already struggling with her awful life didn't have time to even enjoy herself. She was just trying to survive. My destiny was twisted in every possible way and I couldn't bring myself to trust anybody. He would definitely laugh when he'll hear how pathetic and lonely my life was unlike him !
“ My highschool was not that bad but not that good either. It was --kinda okay-okay. I guess. Uhmm.. And I never had a boyfriend , ” I flushed due to the embarrassment and I looked down , not wanting to see his reaction.
“ You--what ? ” He said , a hint of disblief and uncertainity in his voice.
“ So , you're saying that I was your first kiss ? ”
I nodded ,
“ I'm sorry , I didn't know how to do it because it was very new for me , ”
“ What ! No ! Don't apologise , Flower. Atleast not for that ! It was so good that I'd to avoid going on terrace at night in order to stop thinking about you , ” His footsteps came closer and I tensed. His lips slided over my trembling eye-lids.
“ It's so amusing to know how opposite you think , ” He whispered in his deep velvety voice and I found myself confused.
“ What ? Opposite ? ” I asked and he moved his mouth to my ear and I felt the moist heat of his breath , he muttered ,
“ Listen , honey. There were so many things that I was going to do to you right now but now I realised you need time for that. So, let's take some rest. ”
Right now , my knees were shot and I blushed.. Hard... I immediately reached up to hold on to his heavy wrists , mostly to keep from toppling over. Laugh rustled in his throat as one of his hands traveled up my spine , coaxing out a shiver , a sweet shock , as the warmth of his palm met my skin. He eased me down the kitchen sink and we proceeded towards the room.
I stepped into the room holding my shirt into my arms and spotted Joanna who was writing something in her diary while her back was facing me.
“ What are you writing ? ” I held her tighter against me and she instantly closed her book.
“ Oh , it's nothing ! ” Turning herself towards me , she scooted over and patted the bed , indicating me to come over and I joined her , my arm around her with her head resting on my chest.
She turned her head downward before asking,
“ Xavier, who's Maya ? The one with whom you were in the party that day ? ”
Oh ! She won't like the answer but I needed to be honest with her.
“My father always pressurizes me to marry her since she's a famous lawyer and a daughter of wealthy businessman. But there's nothing between us . Yeah ! It would be a lie if I'll say that I haven't made out with her in the past a couple of times but apart from that there were no feelings attached. ”
“ Oh ” That was all she said.
I shook my head , rubbing her arms, “ There's nothing , Flower. If I'd know that you'll be entering in my life , I'd never waste my time like that. ”
“ I trust you. ” She smiled.
“ Tomorrow is the party that my father arranged for me. Come with me , ” I stated. Although I practically hate when old man pretends that he loves me when in reality all he loves to do is to brag and boast. But like always , I was obliged to attend this boring party but it could be exhilarating only if Joanna would accompany me.
“ Sure ! ” She said.
I pulled her closer to me , and inhaled that addicting yet faint smell that she had. She relaxed again against my chest , letting her eyes shut and I didn't remember how long I watched her sleep peacefully while holding her fragile frame in my arms. She was pretty much the only precious pearl who makes me smile without even trying. God ! Can anybody tell me what I did to deserve her ?
“ What do you wanna talk about , sir ? ” I stuttered.
“ I cannot say that now. But tomorrow is a party that I have arranged for Xavier like every year and I want you to come too. Don't let Xavier know about my call though. Just tell him that you want to accompany him in the party, ” He said affirmatively.
I immediately responded, “ Ohh-okay sir ! Sure ! ”
He hung up and I found myself frozen at the spot. Why does Xavier's father want to talk to me ? And why did he want me to keep it a secret from Xavier himself ?
“ Joanna ! ” Alice's high pitched scream snapped me out of my thoughts.
“ Coming ! ” I came rushing towards her.
“ Okay ! So I think now we should get going. We'll come again this weekend. Oh and these are for you , Joanna ! ” Alice said , thrusting a huge bouquet of gorgeous red roses into my arms.
My eyes sparkled in awe , “ Oh these are exquisite. Thank-you ! ”
“ I had a great time too. I hope to see you all soon. Thank-you everybody ! ” I beamed a smile.
“ And and and Mili. I hope to see you soon too , ” I lowered down and Mili giggled.
“ Yes ! Annaa ! I'll play with you again , ”
“ Oh sure darling ! ” I patted her head.
After bidding good-bye to everyone , I and Xavier proceeded towards the kitchen to put the roses into the water. But should I inform Xavier about his father's call ? Or should I just wait a little ? Or should I just go according to what Mr. Blossom said ? I let out a shuddery sigh , unaware that I was gripping the bunched flower stems until I looked down and saw a smear of blood on the fleshy pad beneath my right thumb. A thorn had punctured it. I ran some water over my hand to clean it , filled the vase and settled the flowers into it. Xavier came up behind me , gave a quiet exclamation as he saw a blood on my hand.
“ It's okay ! ” I said but he took my hand and held it under water. When the wound was rinsed , he reached for a paper towel and folded it a couple of times.
“ Keep pressure on it , ” He stood facing me , gripping the paper towel against my palm. I was so unsettled by Mr. Blossom's call that I couldn't think of a thing to say. Should I just lie to him like Mr. Blossom told me to ?
“ Look at me , ” Xavier said after a minute. I didn't want to. I knew he would read my mind far too easily. But I forced myself to meet his gaze.
“ What happened, Joana ? Are you okay ? ” He asked.
“ Oh sure ! Just a little tired , ”
I lied and tugged my hand from his hand and removed the paper towel. The bleeding had stopped.
Xavier's arms went around me. He bent his head and his low voice caressed my ear , “ Are you sure ? ”
I nodded. He nuzzled behind my ear, “Flower , I don't know why I am saying this but you can share everything with me. You don't need to hide anything from me. Okay ? ”
I wasn't breathing well. I gulped and nodded again.
Both of his hands curved around my scalp , angling my face upward. His thumbs stroked over my cheek. He gave me a look that dismantled my brain and a wave of heat went through me. I flushed and that red blush covered me from head to toe. My fists clenched reflexively in his shirt. My eyes widened when I saw my finger leaving a bright red splotch of blood on his beautiful shirt that would cost the equivalent of the average mortgage payment.
“ Oh , no ! ” I exclaimed.
Xavier looked down at my hand , “ Damn ! It's bleeding again. We need to get you a band-aid. ”
“ I am sorry. Your shirt is spoiled , ” I muttered and he seemed amused by my concern ,
“ Flower , that's just a shirt. ”
“ I hope I haven't ruined it. Maybe it's not too late if I soak it into the sink, ” I began on the placket of buttons , wincing at the sight of the blood stained fabric.
“ Forget the shirt , flower ! Let me see your hand , ”
“ Is it dry clean only ? What does the tag say ? ”
“ I never read the tag , ” He sighed.
“ Such a man , ” I undid another button and continued with the another ones in hurry. My fingers slowed down when I realised what I was doing. I was undressing him.
Xavier didn't move , just watched me , his amusement evaporating. His chest went rigid beneath the blinding-white undershirt , his breath coming faster as I made fumbling progress. I gulped.
I couldn't stop , I needed to clean his shirt. I tugged the hem of his shirt and my hands trembled as I reached for the cuffs of his sleeves , pushing the buttons through the crisp starched layers of fabric. Such a man. A good looking , over the top , trying so hard not to seem dangerous. ..... he was absolutely tantalizing.
He remained silent as I finally tugged the shirt from his shoulders. When the shirt reached his wrists , he moved slowly pulling his arms from the sleeve and my wrist was caught in his powerful hand and his mouth dragged softly over the insides of my fingers . A kiss burned the center of my palm and then I went weak as his arms enclosed me and lifted me until I was sitting on the small kitchen island , my legs daggling.
I heard his voice that was so smoky and deep ,
“ How do you always manage to amuse me , Flower ? I can't be so patient everytime. You don't have any idea how hard it is for me , ”
I shut my eyes nervously against the artificial glare of the overhead lights and I stopped thinking , stopped trying to control anything.
He bent over me and his mouth came to mine , tender and devouring , while his hand closed over my thighs. God ! The way he kissed. He slided an arm around my back to support my faltering weight. I felt the strength of his hand and the gentleness with it. His mouth was slow and searching , the kisses hard at first and then loosening as if unraveling from their own heat. Hard flushes rising through me. He kissed my throat , tasting the thin, susceptible skin, his lips stroking the throb of my pulse. My hands came over his hair , soft and thick.
My phone began ringing again and I stiffened. Was it Mr. Blossom ? When I froze , Xavier released me and started stroking my back in an effort to loosen the tight chain of my vertebrae,
“ You, okay ? ” He asked , his blue hazel eyes looking at me softly.
He glanced over at my phone and his hand moved up to the bare of my neck and squeezed with gentle pressure , relieving the cramp of tiny muscles. “ Should I bring phone to you ? ”
“ No ! ” I clutched at him.
He held obligingly still.
“ You don't want your phone ? ” He asked.
“ No ! I mean, I--I... I want you , ”
My heart pounded rapidly. Great ! That was partially true , I really did but.. A smile coloured his face as he made a quiet sound of amusement. I was waiting for him to say something but he lowered down and bit my bottom lip gently and I was left stunned.
“ You can't surprise me everytime , I'm telling you Xavier !”
“ You talk fast when you're nervous, ” He observed.
“ I talk fast all the time and I am not nervous , ”
I was such a liar.
He eased me closer , the proximity of his shirtless body was so closer that I couldn't bring myself to do anything. And his voice was so soothing that it can stop a herd of stampeding cattle in their tracks.
“ You can wear that shirt. You'll get cold in this chilling night , ”
He'd bent his head low and his hot breath stirred the hair at my temple, “ It was your idea to undress me ! ”
“ No ! I mean , -- kinda. I did that because I .. Never mind. Why am I even explaining ? ”
A low ironic laugh escaped him , the sound so delicious that every hair on my body stood up. One of his hands came up to my face , fingertips exploring the curve of my cheek. I gently hold his fingertips in my hands as I asked ,
“ Xavier , may I ask you something ? ”
“ Hmmm. Ofcourse , sweetheart ! ” His hazel eyes looking deeply into mine.