Yoo niceu paprika ��

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  • officially_ray 2w

    ۝ Wily ۝

    I'm learning to believe and accept
    that no matter what I will ever do
    I will never be enough for you
    I'm learning to accept that
    no matter how hard I try,
    you will never be gratified
    I have learnt that no matter
    who I become, I will always be a failure
    that you'd wish to hide
    Or maybe
    I'm just your vitrine doll that you decorate
    to heed your liking
    and when I try to be who I am
    you break me down and hide me out
    I'm learning to believe and accept
    nonetheless I'm just your puppet
    who you only love to tamper with.

  • officially_ray 4w

    Nonsense, but that's how I feel at times...

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    I seeked your comfort,
    thought you understood me
    But at the end of the day, you and I,
    Are just by passers.
    I'm just another stranger you're making
    memories with.
    I know, I know I haven't made people proud,
    But when I come running to you
    to show my new poem, I don't see the proud smile anymore
    You were patient with me, and stayed longer than people usually do
    But I think, here it ends.
    I have to let go of you, I know you've already did
    But when you see me in sight, please don't run away.
    Please keep saying you'll be there ,even if you won't.
    Give me a reassuring smile, saying it will be okay, even if it won't.
    Because you've become my home,

  • officially_ray 5w

    Nonsense, but that's how I feel at times.

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    Trauma haunting me harder this time
    Guilt swallowing me into darkness
    Anxiety crawling from underneath my bed
    Panic muffling my screams for help
    Chained by the past, wounded by love
    Scarred by the ones I loved
    I silently fall asleep, to my own wailing
    Waking up to new demons everyday
    They come lurking again at night
    All I had to do was to realise,
    That I was stuck in a time warp called past.

  • officially_ray 12w

    #genuine_readers #whatever

    Me to writers block: I know you'll always stay!��

    There was a concert today, I'm so overwhelmed ��

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    Teach me.

    You asked me why I couldn't smile
    It was just a picture, soon will be a memory
    Everyone with brightest smiles
    And I'll be searching for my lost one
    Looking at people smile
    Like its the only thing they've
    been doing all their life
    Oh how wish I could make you feel the same
    You came without a warning label
    Made me feel extraordinary
    And the next moment, discarded me like dross
    You were the same person
    Who said - "I'll be here for you"
    Only to push me away when I needed you the most
    Now you're standing here smiling like psychopath
    Could you teach me how to push away my anxiety
    cause I know you're good at throwing things away
    Oh common, Please show me how to smile,
    Even if you'd throw me away again
    I need you the most, right now, just now
    And I hate myself for that, because I can never push you away like you did.
    I'm in a mess of unrequited love.

  • officially_ray 18w


    I wonder how different I used to be
    I loved myself and the world around me
    Like a wave you came, splashing at me
    A fool I was to let you drag me deep within
    Love is what I felt it was
    Nightmare it turned out to be
    You didn't let me drown
    You didn't let me breathe
    Trapped in your dreams
    You won't set me free
    All I am is a pitiful puppet
    You play me all day but won't throw me away
    Oh how bad I wish
    That it would come to an end
    I'm sick and tired of being a game

  • officially_ray 24w


    Yes. We do feel like giving up. Sometimes, or maybe most of the times. But, let's just not give up yet. This was when I felt like giving up. I'm not happy now, not yet, but I'm better than what I was yesterday.

    And I don't hate myself for that. Yesterday's me is still me, today's me is me, tomorrow's me is also me. But I still deserve all the love, so do you!

    Hang in there. Good times are coming too.

    #nonsense #genuine_readers

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    Day without me

    And of all the times ,
    I think of this one particular day,
    when I'll no more be walking on this loam,
    when I'll be buried deep in the womb of this orb,
    and if I could ever be free of this morose trap,
    Will I ever be able to sleep peacefully? ,
    To rest and never wake up.
    For all I know
    I'm tired, of trying,
    trying to be like one of you,
    trying to be the perfect you,
    so for once when I will rest in peace
    let me be myself and let me escape,
    Just like I always do,
    I've waited too long,
    trying to fit into this world,
    A day without me sounds good to you?
    Me too..
    A day without me sounds perfect to me too

  • officially_ray 28w


    Nepenthe: something that make make you forget your pain and sufferings.


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    And so he became the light in her darkness,
    A home she longed for in her distraught times,
    For once he shone bright like sunshine,
    Over her scars and her shattered heart,
    He had become her Nepenthe ,
    He brought her back to eunoia.

  • officially_ray 28w

    Eccedentesiast: some who hides pain behind a smile :(:

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    You've taken a little bit of my soul,
    A little too much of my sanity ,
    You've left behind a shattered heart,
    You've given rise to a monster,
    I'm tired of the diurnal stoush,
    Maybe I'm too much of an Eccedentesiast,
    that you fail to see me die a little everyday.

  • officially_ray 28w

    Selenelion: When you can see the moon and the sun together at the same time.


    Okay one thing, after every update mirakee does get better but still gets even more annoying. Can someone tell me how tf I can uk upload a picture I clicked instead of the pics I get to see here.

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    And they waited like the sun and moon, to see each other, even if it was for mere minute, their love blossomed in the selenelion.

  • officially_ray 37w

    Scars shone bright on her inky body,
    making up a dainty constellation of agony,
    She wondered what was her mistake
    that life was so apathetic
    All the seasons felt the same
    her eyes always had a fall of rain
    love had never crossed her path
    the journey she chose was of pain and loathe
    the Cinderella without a fairy godmother
    wearing her own shining armor,
    seemed to carry a heart of glass
    so fragile yet pure in its form
    withered like autumn leaves
    she smiled through her tears
    sleeping under the blanket of stars
    she looked up at the sky
    she drew a constellation of her stallion,
    she wished that it existed ,
    all that she wanted was an escape
    an escape from this obtuse world
    that never withheld any esse for her.

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    Damsel in distr(esse)