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  • partlywater 15w

    Tea is cold and grass is green, like every morning. Most of the mornings are lost in deciphering the dreams of my nights. Still waiting for that device which could record my dreams while I sleep, so that I can think about them during my evenings, rather than wasting my mornings. I just remembered that today is my first day of college.

    Been thinking a lot about how different it would be from my school days. If movies are anything to go with, should be pretty fun. But movies just say the deepest desires of the writer. Sometimes it is good to be optimistic about the most random things in life. I choose the opposite for all the important things.

    It is almost raining, almost. I really don't want to see the sun after the moody grey sky. Let the breeze keep on blowing till the end of the day. Less saturation on my days make them a million times better. Talking about million times, I am wasting my time again, which I promised myself not to, a million times.

    A hot shower in this climate would make me fall asleep, yet I would like that over a cold one. I am observing the water droplets falling from my nose tip for no reason. I guess I am getting good at focusing. And all of a sudden, the dream of last night flashed in my head.

    That airport runway is in my dream for not the first time. I remember the infrastructure like I built it ten times in the same place, which warrants no cause or reason. The same old runway with busy jets and empty cockpits. No passengers, no staffs, no ground team, no pilots, in short, no human in sight. I am sitting at the end of the runway just a feet away from the take off point. Every take off leaves the scent of hot rubber from the jet's tyres. If I had to sneeze when the jet is about to take off, I hold it in. Because I would bang on the tyres if I sneeze, I just realised that its is not a safe place to sit in the first place. And then..... oh my god! I am late..

    Uff... made it to the bus stop twenty five seconds before the college bus showed up. As I climbed the steps, I was thinking if I rinsed my mouth after my breakfast? Oh no... did I flush the toilet after the poop? Well... I will get to know in the evening I guess.

    Anxiety takes away attention to detail. Like the people I walked past as I walked in the middle of the bus to one of the empty seats in the middle. I have no recollection of their faces or figure. And that is when I thought about, if I was wearing my shirt right or inside out. A small heart-attack later I was fine, listening to Mr.Ballen podcast on my earphones. Its strange that anxiety inducing material calms down my social anxiety.

    Well lord behold, the bus entered the campus. I am calm in getting down from the bus and never spoke with anyone. As I walked towards the main building with the name of the college, I was greeted by a girl standing there and telling everyone the direction to their departments.

    "Welcome to Truman University! I am Sonia, head of student welfare union. A commerce senior. What is your name and department?"

    Wow!!! a lot of words for a foot path interaction, I thought.

    "Where is English?" I asked and I know that I did it really awkwardly...

    "So human of few words huh? Anyway, you walk straight past the main corridor and take left. You fill find, Physics, Nuclear Physics and then English, that will be you."

    I just nodded and made a small smile. Then walked on my while regretting not thanking her. Also my I was wondering why she could not just tell walk straight until you see English department? People who speak a lot are weird and I feel like they just talk a lot for the sake of talking a lot.

    Here I am, my hopes of getting into the classroom before anyone else has definitely failed. Now I have to walk past at least fifteen people looking at me and I am obliged to smile and make eye contact with them all. Huh... that is Mouni! She was from high school. Good that I know someone here. What is the use though? She is such a bitch and I would have spoken a maximum of 44 words with her in our entire time in the same campus.

    As I sat there alone minding mw own job of not making my presence felt, the first teacher walked in. This was a basic bla bla session held during every opening day. But as I was looking at the teacher, I had a feeling that I have seen her somewhere, but could not point my finger and say from where. After 45 long minutes of nothing, the class came to an end and we were walking out. As I was close to exiting the classroom, she called me.

    "Excuse me dear!"
    "Yes, did you call me?"

    "Well of course! Would you mind staying for a couple of minutes? I need to ask something."

    Though her ask was of no interest of mine, I stayed just out of curiosity. We waited until the class was empty and she looked into my eyes and asked;

    "Where do I know you from?"
    "Same... I am thinking and not able to remember."

    "By any chance have you been to Willow international?"
    "What is Willow international?

    "The airport!"

    This is not possible, that is my dream! Am I still dreaming? Should I try to wake up? But I am going to keep talking. Because now I remember who she is.

    "Doli Pippin? The Mayor?"
    "Yes honey... Oh no! this is not good."

    Then she just looked into nowhere and stormed out of the class.

    "Mam.... Mam.... tell me what's wrong please...!

    And there goes she, along with my first day at college. All the best sleeping tonight, I told myself....

    ...;


    © partlywater

    #tales #silence #colourless
    #dark #colourless #noir #dreams
    @kaetky @parthavi_

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    Grey Butterfly

    Revelation 1

  • partlywater 91w

    Screeching Sunshine

    Somersaulted around the parking lot. A rather empty one. All I see is a lingerie waving in the cold hearted breeze. An expensive sneaker I stole when I robbed that basket ball player. Not perfect fit, yet so satisfying to wear expensive goods. The looks you get though! And now I do not want to wear them walmart shoes ever again.

    A solitude song by a sentimental fool, unheard lyrics from an amnesic brain. The lonely loser in me called for help as loud as he could. The failure is much better than falling flat. I have been doing this over and over again and now I got bored; by falling flat.

    They used to call me mean for ignoring the poor. I was also there and these people who blamed me, ignored me as well. I am not doing that for revenge. I am just trying to understand how it feels to be that person. That tries not see that poor face asking for food.

    The clogged emotions within my system has made me numb what so ever. A glass of water would have made things lot better but now it is too late even for an expensive sushi; with caviar of course. Now I am constantly wishing for random people to die in front of me, so that I can pretend being so sad and break down flat in tears. I don't know, I feel like doing that regardless.

    Because you are as sane as your scriptures and guilt is something you have a choice to have or look away from.


    ©partlywater
    2020
    Image: ©Maham.K.illustrations (via Walli)

    #mirakee #love #story #writersnetwork #grey #nethertla @introvert_girl_ @soulfulstirrings @dusky_dawn @ishiita

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    Screeching Sunshine

    A solitude song by a sentimental fool, unheard lyrics from an amnesic brain..

  • partlywater 95w

    She

  • partlywater 95w

    Ceramic Tarantula

    Withered petals of avocado flowers;
    An unused mile of leisure park asphalt,
    No beginning nor an end,
    And also not a hint.
    Lurked in the bark of a tree,
    A soul waiting to be set free.
    Nominal it is when in shadow,
    Abomination under the sun.
    Sweat feels like sandpaper;
    Scared to scratch my neck,
    For I shall nick my nerves,
    And left to bleed and die.
    Or will I ever die?
    Chaos erupts and shall torment;
    Until there is breath,
    And shall not bother a corpse,
    For it has nothing to lose,
    What is the fun?
    When there is no tears!
    Or no screams that makes you bleed!
    We are brought up on proverbs;
    Which we really don't know the meanings of.
    And we will remain docile;
    Because we need courage to be hostile!

    ©partlywater
    2020
    Image: ©Joey Guidone (via Walli)

    #mirakee #love #story #writersnetwork #grey @introvert_girl_ @soulfulstirrings @dusky_dawn @ishiita @seyfert

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    Ceramic Tarantula

    What is the fun?
    When there is no tears!

  • partlywater 96w

    Fireflies

    Darkness got me going towards the woods. A serene sight to behold in its purest form I say with my whole heart. Alone is fear, some say. Alone is bliss, I say. I am aware of the footsteps entering my ears and that is one. My ears are open the whole time even if I hear one more extra footstep. Walking to a distance where them trees won't hinder my peripheral vision as well. I need to see them stars as a carpet in the deep black skies.

    I imagine paralysis made up of pain rushing through my nerves. Pain gets me high, sometimes. Figuring out the brightest start while pretending to die by intentionally giving up the focus on my eyes. There is a vague memory of someone telling me that the vision blurs with the things in vision moving away is how death feels like. That kind of summed up my entire life. Vision, blur and an endless run.

    There got to be an argument between my brain and my heart unknown to my senses. The thoughts I get while I stand in the end of a cliff, should I call it suicidal or everybody else thinks that way? I mean, what exactly is suicidal thoughts? I am constantly imagining my elevator chains to be cut off or my plane to plunge into the pacific.

    A strong belief of mine is that there is a second world which this world leads to. The ones about which we get glimpse in our dreams. It looks so much weird which makes it so much fun. The extent to which that worlds spreads itself out to be explored is certainly magnificent to a point where the only thing I want out of a dream is to not wake up. I am imagining the possibilities in that second world where colours rarely exist. Imagine not spending time in confusion while selecting a lipstick or eye shadow!

    The notion of escape in all its form and glory comes with the included workflow of exit. Do we call the happy expectation requiring a travel suicidal? Most often I hear a line from the movie Joker, but except for the first time, I am hearing it from my mind.

    Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?

    ©partlywater
    2020
    Image: ©Turbulon (via Walli)

    #mirakee #love #story #writersnetwork #grey @introvert_girl_ @soulfulstirrings @dusky_dawn @ishiita @seyfert

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    Fireflies

    There got to be an argument between my brain and my heart unknown to my senses.

  • partlywater 97w

    Smoked Syllables

    Everything is fucking dark...
    Trying hard to write something light,
    Am I the wilted flower in a wind?
    Are these moves not mine?
    The nib on my pens are broken,
    They screech when I write.
    I... I am starting soft;
    But the words crave for blood.
    Wow, that was too far!
    Lets forget that line with blood;
    Lets better do!
    I am opening water colour boxes,
    Am I colour blind?
    Why do I see only grey?
    I am focusing on my words,
    Trying to restrict them green and light,
    But somewhere comes a sigh,
    A look at the roof,
    My hand to the cigarettes,
    A blow to the sky,
    A smile on my face.
    Gripping the pen while sipping cancer;
    A curve that touched my ears.
    Hard friction of pen and paper,
    The best porn I have even seen.
    Aroused by the madness in desk,
    I am ecstatic in an odd way,
    There is no green nor colour;
    Wow, the grammar in the last line sucked,
    My English teacher won't be proud.
    Sorry mam, I am trying something here.
    Where were we? Yes, colour;
    Which doesn't exist!
    The light is there; but ever so subtle.
    Just enough for me to see,
    The cigarettes at night.
    So they can be lit right,
    Unlike the funny side up front;
    Because that is a shame,
    Even when alone!
    Don't make that face;
    You have no idea what I am talking about!
    Wait what? You did not make any face?
    Then you know what I said!
    So..... yes my writing is complete;
    For fucks sake not again!
    Everything is fucking dark!
    But there is smile on my face,
    And a cigarette in my hand;
    Period

    ©partlywater
    2020
    Image: ©Nock Spanin (via Walli)

    #mirakee #love #story #writersnetwork #grey @introvert_girl_ @soulfulstirrings @dusky_dawn @ishiita

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    Smoked Syllables

    Gripping the pen while sipping cancer;
    A curve that touched my ears.

  • partlywater 97w

    Strand Canyon

    I am gripping tight to that pole,
    The only thing that is cemented to the ground.
    Somebody shouted at me to sing a song.
    Am holding to my life; you sadist psycho!
    Its just an earth quake, chill out! was the reply.
    Will you fucking shut your mouth?
    No I won't, I am gonna sing..
    And then the person started singing.
    The rumbles from the quake added bass;
    Screams of crushed humans added treble;
    Poles became xylophone for that matter.
    Mine still stayed strong.
    A few inches from me, ground started cracking.
    I was in panic, hey there? I asked;
    There was no reply, I am sorry, talk back!
    Still there was no reply from the person.
    Quake kept on going and crack widened;
    I started to sing for myself.
    A song at 7.2 magnitude quake would sound like;
    Wabbahhabbahhbahbbbahbbabahbbbahhbahhbah
    Still boosted my confidence;
    Finally the quake stopped for good.
    I walked to that aisle where the sound came from,
    Had to move them decapitated arms and legs,
    Oh that is a head, what a beautiful face though!
    I am moving concrete slabs in search of a voice.
    So many crushed bodies underneath.
    Not able to read a single face;
    For that matter; do I even know the face.
    Only so much time you can remember them faces,
    It slowly fades day by day
    And if you don't have a single picture;
    You are left with the scent for them to haunt.
    Why am I looking for a voice without a body?
    How long shall I look for that?
    Now I don't even remember that face!
    Or do I really not?
    And what was that song from the other side?
    Oh fuck; I do not remember....

    ©partlywater
    2020
    Image: ©Marcus Cederberg (via Walli)

    #mirakee #love #story #writersnetwork #grey @introvert_girl_ @soulfulstirrings @dusky_dawn @ishiita

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    Strand Canyon

    Quake kept on going and crack widened;
    I started to sing for myself.

  • partlywater 97w

    @partlywater

    Username change to match my other handles, also started instagram again to have a connection in worst cases. Sorry for the inconvenience but please change my handle if you need to tag me.

    @nether -------> @partlywater

    other handles;
    Twitter @partlywater
    Instagram @partlywater

  • partlywater 97w

    Apron
    Gore/NSFW

    Hey, Look at me.
    Let me help you to the dance floor.
    Grab my hands, be dramatic!
    There you go lady... You are getting it.
    Now just glide as your heart beats;
    One leg at a time; 1 2 3, 1 2 3....
    Girl...! you have moves..
    Yeah, I am always energetic.
    You see these eyes? Do they lie?
    Yeah, I do look happy; but scared!
    Happiness of course!
    There is no eternal happiness as such
    Them legends and fairy tales lie.
    Blatant lie about an everlasting joy!
    Try to think the longest period you were happy.
    Exactly, you don't know!
    Because you got bored of it the second day.
    The joy is a dopamine shot to the brain.
    It makes you numb and vulnerable.
    Kids get playstation using this vulnerability.
    Your joy is someone else's present.
    And that gets me terrified.
    Happiness of imaginations are lost when got.
    Including them dreams of yours.
    Sorrow on the other hand;
    Multiplies, gets physical and thrills you.
    At some point it gets you so high.
    You are basically god when you are sad.
    There is explanation for everything.
    You are allowed everything and anything.
    Because you are unstable
    And that is because you are sad.
    You wanna see?? Huh ? Huh?
    Look at that waiter coming by... *Bang*
    I broke the wine bottle in his head see...
    Because I am sad.. No one is stopping me..
    Where are you going lady?
    Please don't cry, you are safe with me...
    Come here darling, let me keep you close.
    Let me tell you a story!
    I once worked in a butcher's shop
    You know butcher's shop?
    Well well... So my master was a nice man.
    He sang songs to the chickens before killing them.
    I believed he was a happy and nice man.
    One day I walked in early to the shop.
    I heard master's song from the back garage.
    I walked as I was tying my apron.
    He was singing a song in the ears of a woman
    She was smiling and giggling
    Master was in his dirty apron
    *Bang* He just chopped her head off.
    I asked master why did he do that
    He said he felt like doing so
    Did not leave it there;
    He asked me to grind the woman with beef.
    I wonder how many burgers were made out of that
    Look at them faces of people around us;
    See the silence; isn't it well?
    You wonder why am I telling this to you?
    You got those amazing eyes lady...
    I guess I am in love!
    Don't cry! I am not gonna take you away..
    God you look beautiful in teary red eyes;
    You are turning me on right now!
    Come, give me your ears;
    Don't worry, I am not gonna sing a song!
    Look lady, you see my amazing trench coat aye?
    There is a dirty apron beneath.
    The stench of human blood my god..
    I keep them close to myself all the time

    "Thank you gentle man"

    My payment for meat is here,
    I am leaving lady!
    Here is my card;
    Come by to my shop,
    I have a lot more to say and show.
    Can I kiss you?
    I am sad so......
    Thank you; have a nice day!

    ©partlywater
    2020
    Image: ©Ksparsh (via Walli)

    #mirakee #love #story #writersnetwork #grey @introvert_girl_ @soulfulstirrings @dusky_dawn @ishiita @miss_messy

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    Apron

    The joy is a dopamine shot to the brain.
    It makes you numb and vulnerable.

  • partlywater 98w

    Maven Minds

    Arguably the most beautiful specimen!
    She just ticked them all, boxes.
    I lit those candles made of glass,
    The ones that sparkled some time.
    Below the chimney she stood,
    Staring eyes and a threatening spoon,
    Candle failed and I am running fast!
    I skid off them floors on to a purple cloud,
    Where the grey unicorns sang lullaby.
    Kept on running till the edge of the cloud;
    Without a suit or chute I jump straight down.
    I met mavens of metaphors in mid air.
    A conversation I guess, but so subtle.
    Secrets of woman, I quickly asked;
    A maven asked me back, one or more?
    Sound of the word, spells it out, I said;
    No but you are the first he said.
    The mavens left laughing out loud,
    And I kept on falling to oblivion.
    A million questions aside empty answers;
    A memory not so strong or subtle.
    The invisible enigma etched on Neptune rocks,
    Brought to life by a darker brain.
    Placed it in places where it would be nice,
    Tickles and tantrums as fillers and more,
    Abstract are those arguments in my mind,
    But tangible are these audible beats in my heart.
    I am casting my pole in hopes to fish,
    But every time an oasis it is!
    All I see are raw and unripe dates.
    Not them with fancy wine glasses and sushi,
    These are the ones hanging miles above the ground.
    Two men once got stuck in a desert.
    One kept walking in hope to find a way,
    The other dug deep to escape the heat.
    Chances of both are close to zero.
    Deeper he dug, closer to zero,
    And farther he walked, farther from zero.
    Wise of the two, you may wonder;
    But I am the man far down under!
    Chasing a shadow has a meaning to it,
    Fighting the self holds power to it,
    But following a white silhouette?
    Yes, it hold the same worth as fishing in an oasis!
    I know them fools who do that always,
    I like to be seen as a fool in that crowd.
    But I am doing it for the sake of stimuli,
    Or else this world will pin me dead.

    ©partlywater
    2020
    Image: ©Ksparsh (via Walli)

    #mirakee #love #story #writersnetwork #grey @introvert_girl_ @soulfulstirrings @dusky_dawn @ishiita @miss_messy

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    Maven Minds

    The invisible enigma etched on Neptune rocks
    Brought to life by a darker brain