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poetryandpauses
11w
Read More9th March, 23:39 P.M, Wednesday
I've stopped writing daily. I was habitual of it. I was in a habit of speaking to myself, of expressing, of letting my emotions rest on piece of paper. But, but I lost that habit. I lost that habit of expressing, of feeling. Since I have stopped writing, I am not actually aware of who I am, who I have become. I have stopped paying attention my emotions, my inner self. I have stopped talking to myself. I say that I have nothing to write about, I have nothing to talk about but may be people say this when they have a lot to talk about, a lot to write about, a lot to express. By the time, a lot becomes nothing. They keep so much inside themselves, they become more 'the things they keep inside' and less 'them'. May be that's why, they get confused and say that they got nothing, nothing to talk about, nothing to express, nothing to say, nothing to write. But that nothing holds a lot, that nothing is heavy, way too heavy than a lot. They hold so much that they become unaware of who they actually are.
I do not what I have become, what I want to be, what I was. I am not aware of myself, I have gone far far away from myself, do not know where, do not know why but for sure I know I have gone too far to meet myself.
But at this period of my life, I am moving, wandering aimlessly here and there, in search of a place of rest, of a destination. I am moving from places to places, I am roving in search of a place, a person, an aim. But I'm getting nowhere, I am moving, I am wandering but still I am stuck maybe, I am stuck yes, stuck in moving, wandering, roving, and walking around aimlessly, voraciously, anxiously. I am not following a path, a clear path, I am getting distracted from my goals, my motives, I am getting distracted. I wanna stay, stay at a place and move, I do not want to stay stuck and wander here and there in search of people.
Because at the end, what's mine will find me. For that I do not need to worry, I do not need to bother myself, I need not stress myself. For that I do not need to destroy my present, for that I do not need to ruin all the opportunities that I have now. Because NOW will not come again. I only have to focus on my goals, only on what I wish to achieve. Everything else will follow.
I have to go on and on, without wandering here and there. I have to move, I have to grow, I have to make my present.
~sakshi �� -
poetryandpauses
35w
For once, I don't wanna be right, especially, I don't wanna be right in their eyes, I am fine being who I am even if I am wrong. For once, I don't wanna explain anything to people, I don't wanna explain how I feel and why I feel that, I don't wanna explain why I am silent or why I am behaving in a particular way, I don't wanna explain any fucking thing. For once, I don't want to be nice and good, I don't wanna trade my true being for something I am not, I don't wanna show what I am not feeling, I don't wanna pretend. For once, I wanna be the way I am comfortable. For once, I don't wanna live for them, for their opinions, for what they think of me, for how they see or look at me, for how they want to see them, for how they expect of me. I don't wanna be anything for them, for once I wanna be for me, exclusively for me. For once, I just wanna BE, in whatever way I want, in whatever way I feel fine.
For once, I don't wanna play pretend or be good in their eyes. I don't wanna trade my soul for someone who doesn't understand. For once, I just wanna be, in whatever way they see me, sad, ugly, anxious, bad, rude, arrogant, pessimist or in whatever definition I fit in. I don't wanna explain that I am this or I am that, I just wanna stay okay in however, they perceive me.
I don't wanna be right in their eyes, because that way I will go wrong in mine.
~sakshi -
poetryandpauses
36w
Read More
The sad thing about life is not death or not living enough, it's the regrets. The regrets of not being enough, of missing those opportunities, of not defending yourself, of suffering alone, of spending that day in sadness, of not being productive enough, of not being considerate, of screaming out when you could have kept mum, of staying silent when your words were needed the most.
It is only the regrets,
the regrets of not being in touch with your loved ones, of not telling them what they mean in your life, of not expressing your emotions. But you know what the biggest regret is? It is getting misunderstood, it is pretending to be fine when your soul is crashing inside, it is being taken wrongly, the biggest regret is people, most especially your close ones, taking you as someone you are not.
The regrets-
of not being there for people when they are alive and regretting when they are gone. Of giving them tags of "Loser" "Show off" "Unreal" "Attention Seeker" "Toxic" "Dramatic" "Someone who exaggerates" and whatnot when they share their emotions when they talk about their problems and labeling them as " Ignorant" "Toxic" "Someone who doesn't communicate" and everything else when they begin to keep things to themselves when they find it better to keep it all inside to escape from the situation. Of not listening, not paying attention to them when they are here with you, and preaching to others to share their emotions as soon as someone takes away their life. Of not looking at the one who's sitting next to you and then consoling the one who's miles away from you.
It's only the regrets-
the regrets of sending bouquets to a dead person and not giving even a single petal when that person is alive, of writing thousands of words for them when they find their solace and not giving them a simple title when they breathe just fine, of living them after they bid adieu and not even seeing then when they are sitting next to you. It is only the regrets, of not being kind to them, of not lending your ears to them, of not understanding them, of not getting into their shoe when they are struggling, when they are alive, when they are counting on their breaths and crying oceans of tears when they finally fail at living.
It's only the regrets-
of promising yourself to be kind to everyone, to understand that everyone's got their share share of the struggle, to keep everyone at peace, to listen to them, to see things from their point of view as soon as someone makes their way to heaven/staying like that for some time, following all the good deeds and again failing at being kind to the ones who are finding it hard to survive with a smile on their face, who are trying each and every day to pass that day. We are failing, failing at being kind and passing, we are passing at being ignorant, at regretting. We are running in circles, of regrets and good deeds.
~sakshi ��.
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poetryandpauses
41w
Read More
Disclaimer: RANT
13 Aug 2021,
If I could say the one thing that I regret the most, it is that I gave up and I stopped writing, I stopped writing because of what people will think of me because they will think of me as a sadist who keeps on exaggerating the same old scenarios, they will think of me as a fake person who keeps displaying all her emotions on social media to gain sympathy by writing poems, they will think of me as a loser who has nothing else to do, who is lost!
I stopped writing because I am a grown-up and grown-ups are not supposed to showcase their emotions, right? Grownups are supposed to understand everything, they are supposed to keep it all inside and let it decay, they are supposed to keep moving with their life carrying all the baggage. I stopped writing because writing makes a person look weak, it makes them believe that feelings emotions are still dear to me, it makes me an emotional fool, emotional wreck, I stopped writing because writing means letting it out but giving it another life.
I stopped writing and now I feel like there's a lot inside, it's decaying! Buried, dead, rotten, and whatnot, it's all inside, still, living, loving, breaking, running, hoping, wishing.. learning. My head and heart and soul, they all are covered with the decays, I can't seem to make a way to them, I can't seem to remove the rotten layer to see what actually my heart looks like. It used to be naive once but now it's tough, rigid and I don't like that, hearts are supposed to be soft, that's how they don't break. So, I keep trying to remove the dead, decayed, and rotten things, all the words, all the emotions, all the feelings, all the worries but looks like they are glued very well. I forgot how to communicate my heart out, I forgot how to express things, I forgot how to tell them that my heart holds so much grief inside, it needs peace, it needs something to hold on to.
I regret 'not writing' each day, not just writing but I regret all the words and love and care that I didn't express, and all the poems I didn't write. I forgot how to put it all in words, so this is an effort to pour it down, to remove those layers, to express..this is an effort to declutter myself!
-S��.
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poetryandpauses
41w
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If I could let my vulnerabilities touch the paper, then they will touch it with sorrow, like every inch of them is craving for warmth and love,
they will look pathetic and hopeless, romanticizing about the things that are not going to happen ever,
they will smell of pain, darkness, and lots of unfulfilled desires and wishes and what not,
they will feel so strong from the outside but shattered and desperate from the inside.
If I could let my vulnerabilities make a way through words, they will sound so cliched and poetic, like I am gloomy and my days are dark, I wish to do things but my head doesn't cooperate, I still think, dream, fantasize, and romanticize about the ones who are not here in a way they were at some point of time, I think of all the opportunities I've missed and all the moments I've lost, I end up thinking about that one person and all the ways I can still shower love and all the moments I have lost, I think of being loved in a way I should be loved.
If my vulnerabilities could be vulnerable, they would say how insecure, how pathetic, how sad, how bad I feel at a minor inconvenience, they would say how much I think of something when anything goes wrong, they would say how I start seeing issues in myself when things go wrong, they would say how insecure I feel when I see something that I didn't get when I needed it the most, how I have been keeping things inside without me knowing that there is some issue.
If my vulnerabilities could talk, they would say let it all out, my love!
-sakshi ��If my vulnerabilities could talk..
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poetryandpauses
48w
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They say- "With time, grief goes away, it shrinks and eventually it leaves your body" but is that true, I do not think so! And then yesterday, I saw an illustration that said " Grief doesn't shrink with time, we grow with our grief".That means, grief becomes smaller and smaller as we begin to grow. It is just like the clothes of our childhood. They are always there in the corner of our cupboard or somewhere in the mess, but they are there because they carry a lot of emotions and memories.
And so is the grief, it stays within us, us all. Some of us grow too fast that the grief starts too fade, whereas some of us are still in the influence of grief. But ultimately, we do not stop growing, we keep growing, we keep putting our clothes in our cupboard because they begin to look shorter each day, we keep growing and in the process our grief begin to look smaller and tinier to us.
But, remember, grief is a part of everyone of us, it's within us, it lives in us. Some of us had mastered it and kept it aside, some of us are still struggling to keep it aside, and some of us are still under the influence of grief. But still, everyone of us has their portion of grief in themselves, some have grown out of it and some are still thinking that grief is not their enemy. They are still comfortable with it.
Grief keeps on injecting more grief into us, and when we become too comfortable with grief, we feel good, we feel that grief is our friend but it's not. The sooner we understand that we need to keep it in the size it is, the better we would be able to deal with it. No, Grief doesn't shrink, we just grow. The point is to be a little kind because our souls are full of grief.
~sakshi ��.
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"You are your own soulmate" but till when? Till when this quote will work, don't you think everyone needs someone on their side, someone to love, someone to care, someone to hold? Someone to say that things will be alright, to say that, "I'm right here with you", to be there for us, to be with us till the end. Someone who can help us put all the mess aside, someone who will love us like we are the last thing on the earth and someone whom we will love like anything and everything?
"Love yourself" what if I already do and what if I don't want to? What if I am done? what if I want to love someone, what if I wish to be loved by someone else? What if I want to love, love. What if..?
-poetryandpauses -
poetryandpauses
49w
I've been bottling up everything- anger, pain, sadness, love, hate, jealousy, frustration all with a curve on my face, all in the name of reality, all in the name of self reliance, all in the name of fake positivity, all in the name of a strong woman, all in the name of "It's all good here". I've been keeping things inside since so long that even I forget what I've been bottling up, I forgot how to release them all, I forgot how to let things out, I forgot how to express my feelings, how to share my emotions, how to communicate what's going inside, I forgot..I forgot all in the name of being a strong one.
ufff..the damage!
-poetryandpauses -
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poetryandpauses
50w
Read More
वो कहते हैं कि वक़्त दो, वक़्त के साथ सब ठीक हो जाएगा, जख़्म भर जाएंगे, लोग भुला दिए जाएंगे, जो जहाँ का है वहीं छूट जाएगा और तुम, तुम आगे बढ़ते जाओगे, सब कुछ पुराना पीछे छोड़ते हुए.. वक़्त के साथ तुम भुला दोगे सब कुछ जो याद रखने का कोई खास मतलब नही है, जो तुम आगे नहीं ले जा सकते हो, जो तुम्हारा नहीं है, जिस की तुम्हें आस है, जो तुम्हारा ख़ास है.. वक़्त के साथ, तुम बढ़ जाओगे आगे और भुला दोगे सब कुछ, सबको..
सब कहते हैं वक़्त दो, वक़्त सब ठीक कर देगा, पर कोई ये क्यों नही कहता है कि वक़्त बस उन चीज़ों का प्रभाव थोड़ा कम कर देगा, कोई ये क्यों नहीं कहता कि वक़्त बस उन लोगों पर, जज़्बातों पर, दिल पर, उम्मीदों पर, आस पर धूल की एक परत जमा कर देगा, एक ऐसी परत जिसको एक हवा का झोंका ही मिटा दे, जो कुछ तूफानों के इंतेज़ार में है, जिसको हवा का बेसब्री से इंतेज़ार है.. कोई ये क्यों नही कहता है कि वक़्त तो बस एक बहाना है, दुख को कम करने का, और सभी चीजों के प्रभाव को कम करने का, बस आगे चलते जाने का.. कोई ये क्यों नहीं कहता कि वक़्त कुछ ठीक नही करता है, बस हमें कठोर, सख़्त और ढीट बना देता है, बस हमें हम से लड़ने की ताक़त देता है, हमें हमसे ही हज़ार बार लड़ाता है, कभी हराता है तो कभी जिताता है.. पर वक़्त.. वक़्त शायद कुछ ठीक नही करता है.. बस हमें वक़्त पर यकीं करना सिखा देता है..
~sakshi ��.
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dewanshk
9w
Read More@mishkaa @the_blurred_crossfire because you wanted me to write something.
#YaadeinByDewansh
'Smile'तेरी यादें
आज फिर तुझे याद कर रहा हूँ
धीरे-धीरे ख़ुद को बर्बाद कर रहा हूँ
ज़ख़्म पुराने सारे फिर से कुरेद रहा हूँ
आँख बंद कर मैं निशाने भेद रहा हूँ
©dewanshk -
n_e_h_u
12w
Read More#siblings
#wod
@writersnetwork thank you for kind like 🤍
@miraquill
siblings are pillar of our life
sometimes we angry each other
sometimes we loving each other
a sweet and sour bonding
lifetime connections in dilemma
the accountable fondness
endlessnessSiblings
siblings are the pillar of our life
sometimes we angry each other
sometimes we loving each other
a sweet and sour bonding
lifetime connections in dilemma
the accountable fondness
endlessness
life is not perfectly perfect
some bondings imperfect
when time is not perfect
then imperfect bonds are perfect
©n_e_h_u -
kp_singh
11w
Read Moreजिस दिन भी दिल से शायरी नहीं निकलती,
उस दिन ही आंखों से अश्क निकल आते हैं!
Whichever day when poetry does not come out of the heart,
Tears come out of the eyes on that day itself! -Kps©2022
#poetrylove #pain #numbness #tears #kpsquotes #kpsshayari #lovepoemsजिस दिन भी दिल से शायरी नहीं निकलती,
उस दिन ही आंखों से अश्क निकल आते हैं!
Whichever day when poetry does not come out of the heart,
Tears come out of the eyes on that day itself! -Kps©2022 -
dewanshk
11w
Read More
Hey lovely people,
Read the previous 12 chapters if you haven't read them. Tag everyone you know please and do tell me if you find any grammatical/spelling errors in the story.
Thank you
#AndSoLoveHappened
'Smile'And So Love Happened!
CHAPTER – 13
"This was our last act for the evening, ladies and gentlemen," the host announced, "and here comes the part you all were eagerly waiting for – THE DEEJAAAAY NIGHT!" With this announcement, everybody shouted jumping off of their chairs.
The volunteers quickly removed all the chairs from the Central Lawn to make the room for the dancing. All the lights were dimmed except the disco lights. All the seniors were on the dance floor dancing their hearts out and rejoicing the fun college life with their friends for one last time.
Pulkit and Aditya pulled Vansh to join them on the dance floor. Vansh resisted, "I have to find Dhwani," he shouted.
"Whaaat?" Pulkit shouted back trying to listen to him in that loud DJ noise.
Vansh pulled Pulkit closer, "I... have to... find Dhwani," he shouted in his ear.
"Okay! Okay!" Pulkit said covering his ears.
Dhwani was grooving on "Chaar Bottle Vodka" by Yo Yo Honey Singh with her friends. She was wearing a white saree with a yellow border. The loose hairdo and the mauve lipstick with minimal make-up were underlining her elegance flawlessly and the bold silver earrings with that saree were making her bleam in that dim light.
Vansh saw her, the epitome of grace from a few feet away and he couldn't lay his eyes off of her. He drifted slowly towards her keeping his composure. Dhwani stopped dancing seeing him walking up to her and took a step towards him. She waved. He smiled. They hugged, hugged tightly and remained in each other's embrace for long thirty seconds.
"You look like a Goddess," Vansh said not letting his eyes off of her.
"Oh, shut up!" She cringed and gently pushed him away. "You are looking dapper yourself," she said.
Vansh gestured with his hands that he can't hear her in that loud music. Dhwani smiled. "I missed you," she said fixing his tie. His smile faded away. He didn't say anything just kept looking at her.
"Do you wanna go somewhere quiet?" He asked after a moment. Dhwani shook her head. "I wanna dance." The music stopped as soon as she said this. Everyone shouted with disappointment in unison.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the DJ announced, "it's the last song for the evening. Cheers!"
"C'mon!" Dhwani said putting his hand over Vansh's shoulder.
¶Cause there's you and me
And of all people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And there's you and me
And of all other people
And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you¶
He gently put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. He smiled looking down at her. His eyes shined when she smiled back. Dhwani slightly lifted her heels, Vansh leaned forward. They were so close that they could feel their heartbeat on each other's chest and hear each other's breath even though the music was loud enough to make anyone deaf.
All of a sudden, Dhwani felt a high voltage current charged in her body when his lips met with her's. She ran pushing him away. Vansh lost his balance and somehow managed to hold his ground. He stood there in shock and watched Dhwani go away from him.
Dhwani went straight to Yashika. She was drenched in her sweat, completely out of breath. "Look at our dancing diva," Yashika teased. But sensed something wrong when Dhwani stood there motionless without responding.
"Hey, what happened?" Yashika asked making her sit beside herself. Dhwani burst into tears without saying anything.
"I have ruined everything," she said in a squeaky voice wiping her tears.
"What did you do?" Yashika asked again.
Dhwani cried blabbering continuously for minutes. Yashika kept sitting there quietly holding her hands struggling to make sense of what she was saying but gave up in no time when she failed.
Dhwani stopped crying after a while, slowly breathed out rubbing her chest trying to get control of her breath. "I think I am in love," she said in a broken voice.
©dewanshk -
dewanshk
11w
Read More
Hey beautiful people,
Thank you so much for waiting. I hope you all will read the further chapters with the same enthusiasm.
Look for errors. Tag everyone you know.
Thank you
#AndSoLoveHappened
'Smile'And So Love Happened!
CHAPTER - 12
It was early in the morning. Vansh was lying on the mattress with his phone lying on his chest. Some random Bob Ross video was playing on YouTube. He always found the soucing sound of Bob Ross's painting brush on the canvas very calm and peaceful. It often helped him sleep on anxious nights.
He was half asleep when his phone chimed with Dhwani's text. "Are you coming today?" It asked.
"No!" He wanted to type but typed some random alphabets in sleep and dozed off before he could hit the send button.
It was around one in the afternoon. Pulkit went to Vansh's room to check on him. He was still sleeping. Pulkit quietly connected his phone to the Bluetooth speakers, put it near Vansh's ear and played the rooster sound at full volume.
Vansh got up in haste bewildered. "You asshole!" He shouted and Pulkit cackled with laughter.
"Get up, gorgeous. Don't you wanna get ready?"
"What for?" Vansh asked yawning.
"Dude!" Pulkit widened his eyes. "Just get ready."
"I am hungry."
"Yeah, we'll eat in the college."
"I don't wanna go to college, man!"
"Cool. There is nothing to eat."
"Don't care. I'll cook something."
"Really? I so wanna see where this goes."
"What do you mean?"
"Wait till you see the kitchen's condition. Suit yourself." Pulkit said tapping Vansh's shoulder.
*****
The stage was set up in the central lawn. There were big block colourful glittering letters in the background just beneath the college logo saying "FAREWELL'16". The chairs were put down in front of the stage. The first two rows were occupied by the professors and the principal. Dhwani was sitting in the fourth row keenly observing the minute details of the decoration.
"And now we'll play a simple game. We have the presidents of different societies of our college. They'll come walking on this ramp and when they reach the end, our volunteer with a bowl will approach them. In that bowl, we have some chits with really interesting dares for our mighty presidents. They will pick a chit and you know how it goes. So, ladies and gentlemen..." The host was announcing from the podium.
Loud electronic groovy beats were playing on the DJ. Dhwani was sitting with Vansh's chat opened on her phone indecisive about whether to text him or not, while her friends were rating the presidents based on their outfits.
The host was announcing, "The next one we have is the president of the debating society. He has won countless first prizes for our college and I am sure all of you must have seen him hosting some or the other function in the college. Let's give it up for the president of the debating society, Mr Vansh Chauhan."
Dhwani was rattled when she heard Vansh's name. She put her phone down to clap. And then, he came walking on the stage with an awkward self-conscious walk and a nervous smile on his face wearing a black tuxedo and a white glossy shirt underneath it with a red tie and pocket square complementing his dusky complexion.
Dhwani's friends were discussing what to rate him. "A perfect ten!" Dhwani declared without looking at them. A subtle smile appeared on her face when Yashika teased her mimicking her voice.
Vansh reached at the end of the ramp, took out a chit from the bowl and handed it over to the host and waited for him to announce the dare.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" The host shouted in enthusiasm, "now... it'll be the first time that an orator like Vansh instead of arguing will sing a romantic song for us."
Vansh was standing quiet with the mic in his hands trying to figure out what to sing. Seeing him nervous, Dhwani cheered standing from her chair with both hands clapping over her head and everyone present in the central lawn started clapping and hooting.
Vansh smiled looking down at Dhwani. He cleared his throat. She blushed when he started singing looking into her eyes.
¶Teri nigahon ke, teri hi rahoon ke
Kareeb se gayi zindagi
Tujhe kyun dekha na, tujhe kyun jana na
Shikayatein karu ya nahin
Thami hai ye saansein, bhari hai ye aankhein
Sahu kaise ab ye faasla
Bin tere bin tere bin tere..
Koi khalish hai hawaaon mein bin tere...¶
©dewanshk -
dewanshk
49w
Read More
Hey beautiful people,
Thank you so much for waiting. I hope you all will read the further chapters with the same enthusiasm.
Look for errors. Tag everyone you know.
Thank you
#AndSoLoveHappened
'Smile'And So Love Happened!
CHAPTER - 11
Dhwani cried for countless nights losing the most favourite person of her. She never felt like doing anything. She was always tired and lethargic. She even stopped reading novels, which was her favourite thing to do. Her room was always a huge mess for a clean freak.
It was devastating for her to go to college every day and not find Vansh there. She was finding it hard to focus on her studies. She wanted to go to Vansh's flat to meet him but Pulkit refused to take her every time she asked him.
It was afternoon and all the classes were over. Pulkit was trying very hard to capture a perfect shot of a squirrel playing around on the Ashoka tree in the college central lawn. He was waiting for the perfect moment holding his phone still with stiff hands, but somebody tapped on his shoulder right before he was going to click and the image got blurred.
"Oh, come on!" Pulkit shouted in annoyance turning around, but his tone changed as soon as he saw Dhwani standing behind him. "Oh, it's you," he said.
"Hi," Dhwani greeted escaping the eye contact.
"What's up?" Pulkit asked raising his eyebrows.
"Exams are approaching. So... you know. What's up with you?"
"Yeah, same." He took a pause. "Is everything okay?" He asked.
"Umm, yes. How is your roommate?" She asked looking away.
"I don't know. Doing okay, I guess." He said and waited a while for Dhwani to say something. "Would you mind if I asked you what exactly happened with you two?" He asked when she remained quiet.
"You don't know?"
Pulkit shook his head.
"Uh... well... the same old story. He has feelings for me. I don't."
"What? You don't?" Pulkit said surprisingly.
Dhwani nodded.
"Whatever you say!" Pulkit scoffed.
"What do you mean?"
Pulkit ignored her question and quickly took his phone out to capture the perfect shot of the squirrel, he was trying to get for a long time.
"And that's how you do it," Pulkit said showing the picture to Dhwani.
"It's really good," said Dhwani noticing the pride in his eyes.
It was around 1 am. Vansh had put the iconic Star Wars saga to download as he wanted to rewatch the series. He decided to check his Facebook for once before going to sleep. He opened Dhwani's chat to re-read the old conversation. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Dhwani typing. His heart was racing fast while waiting for her message. He wanted to say something to her. He started typing but backspaced everything as he couldn't figure out what to say amongst that whirl of emotions.
Dhwani was typing. Vansh was typing. They stopped. They typed again. She waited for his message. He waited for her message. They gave up after a while when none of them sent anything.
©dewanshk -
dewanshk
53w
Read More
Hey Beautiful people,
Please read the first 4 chapters before reading this one. Tag everyone you know on Mirakee because not many people are reading this story.
Check for any grammatical/spelling errors in this chapter.
Thank you
#AndSoLoveHappened
'Smile'And So Love Happened!
CHAPTER - 05
It was a grey afternoon with a dull sky threatening rain. The wind was chilly enough to get goosebumps and strong enough to let Dhwani's hair fall over Vansh's face. For some time, none of them spoke anything. They both were walking quietly looking at the grass beneath their feet.
"So... how was your class?" Dhwani asked breaking the silence.
"Uh, don't even ask me. It was horrible. I only survived it somehow." Vansh replied.
Dhwani chuckled and again, there was a silence for a few moments.
"So, what are you up to?" Vansh tried to carry the conversation forward.
"Umm... I was just playing badminton and I don't have any more lectures today so I'll head home before it starts pouring down."
"You play badminton!" Vansh said surprisingly.
"Yeah, it's my passion."
"Really? I've never seen you play badminton here."
"Well, it's a new passion and we were playing before you came," she took a pause and asked, "Do you like badminton?"
"No, I am very bad at it. But... I can watch you play."
"You can play with me too."
"But I don't like losing," Vansh made a silly excuse.
"C'mon. I'll let you win." Dhwani persuaded.
Vansh smiled nervously and once again, there was complete silence between them for a short while. Vansh was feeling shy around her and was constantly trying to hide it behind his smile. He was gently kicking the grass while they were strolling around the playground and was completely invested in the movement of grass.
Dhwani found it ironically attractive when she noticed Vansh trying hard to make eye contact with her and failing again and again. She was amused by his ability to get lost in himself while having a conversation.
"Hey," Dhwani muttered, "I liked your movie review."
"Huh!" Vansh blurted out as if someone has woken him up from sleep, which made Dhwani laugh aloud.
"Where were you lost?" She asked giggling.
Vansh hid the embarrassment behind his wide smile. "I was lost in your eyes," he covered up looking at her firmly.
This made Dhwani a bit conscious and she slowly put the hair lying on her face behind her ear, getting her eyes off of him for a moment.
"You weren't even looking at me," She said squinting her eyes.
All of a sudden, the rain started smashing onto the heads of students there. Dhwani swiftly grabbed Vansh's hand and ran towards the Pipal tree near the Canteen to take shelter. Vansh gripped her hand in a stronger clasp when Dhwani got startled with the sudden thundering and they both burst into laughter.
©dewanshk -
I promise one day I'll feel fine
And then maybe you'll see the smile radiating from my eyes in cartref aitas of golden daffodils. Smiling as the denim sky on a halcyon summer's day. Smiling like the little girl in the picture frame. The girl that laughs in rays of golden. The girl that walks on the sidewalk. The girl that still claims to be the favorite child. The girl that wishes to change. To change. Oblivious to life and how it pierces through gossamer flesh. Oblivious to all the little foxes gnawing at her skin. Little foxes she'll only ever find hidden somewhere in her thoughts at the fragile age of sixteen when there's nothing left of a rotting skin suit. And she has to recreate herself from flesh and bone. Needle and thread. Smiling for the sake of smiling. And not just a glorious facade. A skinsuit pieced together with all the maybe's of a decade. All the wonderful things I ought to be, should've been. Painting smiles where a face should be. A ludic smile instead of a cryptozoic girl. Or whatever I am. But for now, I'm okay. And for now okay is fine. And for now, that is all I ever could want.
©queen_butterfly -
akshiwrites
35w
Read More#growth
#pod
#wod
Thank you so much @miraquill for EC and @writersnetwork for the read❤️The ones I
adored like flowers
threw me mercilessly
into the thorns,
yet I bloomed
The ones I
thought were
soothing soul
of my poetry
turned into wounds,
bleeding words
of betrayal,
yet I inked
The ones I
gazed like they
were the stars
burned my universe
to ashes,
yet I lived
©akshiwrites -
rani_shri
40w
कल और कल के बीच आज नहीं मिलते,
जज़्बात कई हैं पर अल्फ़ाज़ नहीं मिलते।
©rani_shri
