I am crazy, idiotic and dumbhead in many ways
I love every moment & live life every day,
I like to laugh, to write & to sing
Always wondering what new days will bring.
Then i go to my room & i pull off the mask
Thinking did i acted well ? Was i able to complete the task ?
Exhaustion of wearing mask & head nearly blown
I move on to bed so i rest before dawn.
Then i cry, scream, fell depressed then i sleep
Trying to fulfill a promise that i have to keep,
I think, i wonder then i cry little more
I feel constant pain that occur in my core.
I am not alone i have a mask that always appears
Which helps me to get out from the world of tears,
As you know i am happy & smiling all the day
My life is full of rainbow ,with no single shade of dark or grey.
Of course i am lying ,i am not okay nor fine
No matter how much i try, i can never ever shine
Why is it me, Why am i suffering all this?
Shit i am in serious need of a bliss.
But i am trying, to end this period of my life
The best way is to grab my arm & cut it with knife,
But that's not me, i will try no matter what my dream say
I hope one day or for a moment, i will actually be okay.