• an_unloved_lover 153w

    I Feel sad all the time but camouflage of smile and bit craziness hides it forever. i act to be happy but the truth is all that happiness died long ago

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    I am crazy, idiotic and dumbhead in many ways
    I love every moment & live life every day,
    I like to laugh, to write & to sing
    Always wondering what new days will bring.

    Then i go to my room & i pull off the mask
    Thinking did i acted well ? Was i able to complete the task ?
    Exhaustion of wearing mask & head nearly blown
    I move on to bed so i rest before dawn.

    Then i cry, scream, fell depressed then i sleep
    Trying to fulfill a promise that i have to keep,
    I think, i wonder then i cry little more
    I feel constant pain that occur in my core.

    I am not alone i have a mask that always appears
    Which helps me to get out from the world of tears,
    As you know i am happy & smiling all the day
    My life is full of rainbow ,with no single shade of dark or grey.

    Of course i am lying ,i am not okay nor fine
    No matter how much i try, i can never ever shine
    Why is it me, Why am i suffering all this?
    Shit i am in serious need of a bliss.

    But i am trying, to end this period of my life
    The best way is to grab my arm & cut it with knife,
    But that's not me, i will try no matter what my dream say
    I hope one day or for a moment, i will actually be okay.