my finger
mimics
the softness
of your lips
against mine,
and i can:t get it
right,
i can play rough
but it's still not rough
enough,

so i close
my eyes
and remember
how your lips
re-taught me of religion
i escaped from years ago,

i still can't believe
how you can kiss right
and still be wrong,
this must be how
cults are formed,

i tried to read
again the letters
your fingers are trying
to scrawl on the side
of my waist,
yours are firm
knowing where to hold
tight,
too tight
that the ink
splayed on my skin
that it turned bluish then
but now brown now,

mine must be
unintelligible scrawls
on your back,
but i paired it with
unintelligible
moans,
that i thought helped
but apparently,
it didnt,

you built a solid wall,
but fine cracks are
starting to meet
in the middle,
where blinding light
comes from,
showing
the empty space
beside me,

day 1 after you,
sucks,
even if you aren't
worthy of it.

©ariachez
sep172021