i.
I have always been wild
I was never seen gentle or meek
I wrestled with boys and punches
I ran away from rules and more rules.

ii.
I haven’t always been like this
I was never walking like a boy
I took this cover for protection
I ran away from pain and more pain.

iii.
I do not know how to be un-wild
I was never clawing at my throat
I starve and punish to find release
I keep running from light and more light.

iv.
I wish to be normal. I wish to be sane.
I was never counting days to sleep
I haven’t stopped bleeding and hurting
I have been dying ever since I escaped death.

v.
I do not know who I am anymore
I breathe but I do not know why
I am good at only running
I am afraid of being with myself.

CN
24.01.21