• moonmoon 111w

    The last letter

    Everyone I adore.
    Ever felt grey? Neither black nor white
    It’s like being, but all hollow inside. No?!
    Then let me tell you about it
    Because tonight is another such night.
    Where, I have locked myself in a room
    Grievously stuck in the gloom.
    Sleep has long eluded my eyes
    Am weary of the deceitful smiles and pleasant lies.
    My hands quiver as I jot down this catharsis,
    To let you know about the existential crisis.
    Curled up in a corner,
    I can already feel their gaze
    Piercing deep, setting my spirits ablaze
    Talking about those demons under my bed
    Although my therapist says it’s all in my head. Tears have started rebelling,
    but I am determined to write
    I’ll try, Keep trying not to give up early in this fight. Depression crept in quietly, resorted in me
    I never wanted all of this, Why can’t you see?
    Self pity tiptoed thereafter, followed by exasperation
    Truth be said, am sick of this pretention.
    All of you asked me to ‘stay strong’ but how? Nobody showed me a way
    I did my best to play along
    But found life drifting away.
    Encaged in my own insecurities, prisoner to my fear
    The pain is so excruciating, impossible to bear
    Bit by bit am sinking into this black hole
    Draining all my emotions, dreams, desires in its swirl.
    Believe me, am not heartless, am not a coward
    I can imagine my father’s tear stained cheeks
    My mother kneeling down, wailing out loud
    My siblings breaking apart seeing me lifeless
    And my friends standing astound.
    But am sorry, I can take it no more
    Spine chilling thoughts have zombified me to the core.
    Am sorry, tried my best I swear
    But it bothers me, seems like no one does care.
    Am sorry, I did it again
    All our attempts have gone in vain.
    Am sorry, I cut my wrist
    My soul had been craving for eternal rest.
    Am sorry, I gave in to the perennial sore
    Death is what now I adore.