I've been raised in hell
Where every hour felt like the devil's hour.
I would see deep blue eyes
The most beautiful ones
Behold the darkest secrets.
And the next thing I know,
I'm standing in front of their graves.
Some of them are still out there
Pieces of them, found, recovered
And with them got buried every secret they ever wished to speak.
When you tell me that love can heal the world
I want to believe it. Genuinely.
I've seen love when a mother asks her kid to run away
As she is held at gunpoint.
And I've seen love when the kid decides to stay.
I've seen the battle between the mother and kid
Deciding who must run away and who must die.
The next thing I know, the kid's running down the street
Splashes of blood on his face, horror in his eyes
He just saw his love shot in the head with a gun too heavy to describe.
And with every kid that comes running down the street
Or with every mother or father or sister or brother who holds the pale body of a kid
Love fades away a little bit more.
And heaven becomes utopia a little bit more.
I've seen people die inside
Way before their heartbeat stopped and they were declared dead to the world.
Every day, every minute, every hour
Feels a blessing
And we thank God for not being the decayed bodies and not being held at gunpoint.
But it is more of a curse
Because what's the point of living a life
Where you don't even know what it's like to 'live' a life and
You are running from the demons outside and inside.
I wonder if there exists a world outside this world
I wonder if there is some sort of parallel universe
Where there is another me, who's comparatively happier
And hasn't seen death
Or if she has, she hasn't seen it enough to get accustomed to it.
I wonder if there really exists a utopian version of a world which is inside my head
Where hope is a flower
Which blooms every day
And doesn't die every single day.
Where dreams are seen and they are achieved
Instead of buried.
And there exists people with beautiful eyes
Who don't behold the darkest of secrets.
I wonder if it's all just a dream
Or maybe I know about a reality
Without even experiencing it.