• bouncy 38w

    Lines in // belongs to different songs
    I guess I'll come back with part 2.

    1. Main Tumhara -Dil Bechara
    2. Never be the same- Camila Cabello
    3. Dangerously- Charlie Puth
    4. Save myself - Ashe
    5. Drum machine - Parekh
    6. Cold/mess - Prateek Kuhad
    24-28/04/2021 #bb_song #bb_luvzu

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    A journey through my playlist(1)

    //Tu Hi Pehli Guzarish Hasrat Bhi Tu Aakhri
    Maahi Mere Masiha Marzi Bata Kya Teri//

    As I play this song for the eleventh time on loop, writing my boring mathematics notes, my lips dance along with the tune at a low pace. My thoughts make its way back to you even as the slightest frequency of this song reaches my ear.

    ~I've fixed pieces of you in every song I listen to~

    //Something must've gone wrong in my brain
    Got your chemicals all in my veins
    Feeling all the highs, feeling all the pain//

    I don't know where these feelings come from. Neurons in my head make strong relationship communicating all the time only about you. They run across my mind, travelling beneath the skin into the nerves, reaching my finger tips they bleed into poetry. I worry, I write too much about you.

    ~The chemistry of my brain is at fault~

    //I loved you dangerously
    More than the air that I breathe
    Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going
    Didn't care if the explosion ruined me//

    I've walked over into your life, only to walk away tired from the after party. Blindly drunk. Sobbing with only a letter left in my hands, risking everything knowing I will have to face hangover the next morning with a heartbreak. But this hangover, isn't packing it's bag with a cup of coffee or even a hundred.

    ~You are the hundred and sixtieth time I tried to quit drinking~

    // I know everything worked out
    the way it's meant to be
    But honestly, If I had the chance
    I would take it back//

    I fetched for too many reasons to walk away ignoring the fact that they will never be valid enough. Who am I kidding? Everytime I tell myself I've moved on, my unconscious mind whispers "I could die for him".

    ~Loving you makes me love myself more~

    //All my love is wasted, Inside of drum machines
    Me inside the grid, And the grid in me//

    This Sunday I took a long shower to wash away all your dust that settled on my skin but the water is too hot, it burnt my skin. Perhaps I love you with entire force of the universe and it's too much to ask you to take in.

    ~Love deserves to be mourned, so are you~

    // I wish I could leave you my love
    But my heart, is a mess
    My days they begin with your name
    And nights end with your breath//

    I fall asleep with this song most of the nights and wake up from your thoughts, screaming your name out loud. I sometimes think of leaving the doors unlocked, for if one day you might want to come back hoping I'd meet you between the spaces of these words and lines that connect us.

    ~And the space is full of love~