• khalidah98 169w

    Deep thoughts about me in a relationship

    I have love and been loved
    But it has never last forever
    Being with someone makes me
    Overthink and overthink
    Until I mess it up
    And then I blame myself for it
    It’s hard imagining myself with somebody
    Without thinking they could hurt me
    Breaking every piece of my heart
    Scaring my soul away
    And leaving me like it’s nothing
    Nobody has done that to me
    It’s just my fear of being with someone

    Another one is miscommunication
    I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like to talk about his feelings and problems
    It makes me go crazy
    And it really upset me because I really wanna what goes inside their heads and their hearts
    And my past relationship has nothing but lack of communication, lack of honesty and we both have different intuitions

    And not being honest
    I love a guy who always honest and can tell me everything
    But a guy who isn’t honest
    Makes me go crazy too
    But I really do care and I would love to listen to their pain so I can try to help them

    Another reason why is misunderstanding me
    To be honest I don’t really like being misunderstood
    And nobody doesn’t
    When a guy misunderstood me
    It makes me feel like he didn’t put much effort to listen to my words that comes from my heart

    The last one is me being religious
    Everybody knows that I’m a Muslim
    And I’m not allowed to be with someone unless I get married
    But I have struggles with guys
    And it’s really hard not doing what is bad for me and doing something that is good
    I love my religion
    But every time I talk to a guy or fell for a guy, my religion is what I think about in the back of my head
    And it’s really stoping me from being in a relationship
    I feel like I’m disappointing God
    Like I’m disappointing my parents
    And that’s why I never told anyone about this because I’m afraid they won’t understand
    I would love to kiss someone
    And it feels good but it’s actually bad
    And it makes me feel like a bad person
    Like I’m doing something wrong
    But I know that I am not the only one who feels like this
    And I made mistakes in life
    I just can’t get always get what I want in life
    But when years go by
    I’m pretty sure that I will understand
    And that Allah (God) will forgive me

    ©khalidah03

    Read More

    Deep thoughts about me in a relationship

    ©khalidah03