pyro_sagen

How can I fight my demons if I'm one of them? • (formerly through_a_rabbits_eyes) (T.W)

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  • pyro_sagen 4w

    See ya later.

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    Goodbye

    This account is being moved. Im aware you're reading these and I need my privacy. Im in therapy. I'm getting better. So I need a new safe place without you. We gotta both grow up. I loved you once. So I wish you the best. But you are never going to see my words again. This is the last thing I'll ever say to you.

    Anyone who has followed me for a long time feel free to DM me and ask for the username of the new account. This account is now dead. And that makes me feel so good. Gotta start over ya know.
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 7w

    To all the people in my life or not who have fed my eating disorder. All the doctors and family and ex's. Fuck you. Just fuck you.
    #ED #anorexia #death #help #poetry #thoughts #pain #words #hatepoem #vent #venting

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    Starving

    It's not enough is it
    To ache and to vomit
    To struggle for breath
    And to try to swallow and choke on it


    You won't believe me until I'm dead
    The pain and the dread
    And still you'll say it's all in my head

    You'll try to claim that you never knew
    About the nights sitting empty
    And the eyes laced with dew

    You didn't fix me
    And you were not there
    You called me fat
    And you pulled my hair

    All of the bodies that cast me aside
    Don't have the right
    To sob when I die

    I reach out for help
    Nothing but denial and hate
    Why will you only open your arms when it's already too late
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 8w

    Find Me

    I became you to not lose you
    I became you to survive
    I became you because I know you love yourself more than anything else

    How blind my poor eyes where
    I threw myself away
    Tossed the pieces into the chasm of the pit
    It didn't matter did it?

    I'm so glad I lost you
    You would've killed me
    You wanted to didn't you?
    You don't want me to see the truth
    Me and everyone around you
    You're afraid we will flee
    And we will
    Because I lost you and found me
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 9w

    Martyr

    I feel better today
    Pick my self up before I fray
    Bite their hands when they tell me to pray
    You're not my martyr
    You're a disgrace
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 9w

    Cinderblocks

    Tie my feet to rocks and drown
    Hell is only six feet down
    Once my body hits the ground
    My last breath of relief
    Is the only sound
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 10w

    The Door

    That door is closed
    The key destroyed
    You shout so loudly
    But it's all just noise

    You've dug your own hole
    Sealed your own fate
    It's not my problem
    It's not my hate

    You can try to destroy me
    But I'm over it now
    Someday you'll have no one left but yourself
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 11w

    Cult Mind

    We choke and gurgle
    hands clawing at our necks
    but we must be still
    or else it will continue
    ravaging our bones
    our skin
    and our minds

    Never before have I seen such suffering
    and yet I feel home here
    for this abuse is more stable than any other
    your teeth getting dull
    perhaps I've grown too old
    and too tough
    for you to swallow
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 47w

    Burn

    Its time to burn it all down
    Start fresh
    The forest will grow again
    With or without the trees that built it
    A forest that's seen many fires
    Will grow taller than a forest who's seen none at all
    My tears will water the ash of your absence
    My leaves will shelter me from the rain
    You can love what you burn
    You can use that pain
    Love is the fuel for the hottest and most violent of flames
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 47w

    Fear

    Feeling that same fear
    Like rag in my mouth
    Like skin in my teeth
    Rattling me
    Right down to my bones
    But I cannot show it

    Run away little rabbit
    For running is all you can do
    You've lost many fingers
    As they bite the hand that feeds
    Eyes wide
    Can't hide
    But you still try too

    Once beaten twice shy
    No one understands why
    Cross my heart hope to die
    Bind my hands in your lies
    Why do I have to repeat this spiral
    This panic over those pretty words
    Go with your gut little rabbit you'll never get hurt

    Something ease my suffering
    I've been here before
    And I will be trapped here
    A reject and a whore
    Tell me we are the same
    When if we were you'd spare me of this indifference and give me my peace
    You cannot calm a rabbit if you still bare to your teeth
    ©pyro_sagen

  • pyro_sagen 47w

    Glass Boy

    I thought I escaped this.
    But its always there knawing away at me.
    I'm just angry and cold and I can't keep keep my stomach full.
    Why am I repulsed by something I need to survive?
    Why do I choke on my own tongue and push everyone away with my own lungs?
    Crying for help is impossible when you can't breathe.
    My frame is nothing but glass now
    Watch me chip away
    ©pyro_sagen