My first media to express myself were paintings and drawings, but recently I found out that I not just enjoy working with colors but also with words.

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  • queenofhearts1491 121w

    Made of Stars

    Darling we are made of stars,
    Millions of silver fragments,
    Falling from heavens above,
    Lighting up the darkest night
    With the universe's gracious smile.

    Darling we are made of stars,
    Hearts formed of golden dust,
    Sending rays of pure serenity,
    Holding wishes with deep trust
    Of the universe's peace and eternity.

    Darling we are made of stars,
    A unity of colorful reflections,
    Enchanting the world with diversity,
    Presenting the beauty of our creations
    To be part of the universe's mystery.


  • queenofhearts1491 121w

    Sea of Sand

    I'm drowning in a sea of sand,
    Buried under a heavy burden.
    The more I try to get out,
    The deeper I get soaked in.
    Fear ... despair ... anxiety ... constriction,
    My heart is racing,
    I can't breathe.
    There's no way to escape
    And all my senses fall silent.

    My eyes are blocked,
    Forced to be blind.
    A fine-grained darkness,
    Not a light can be seen.
    Fear ... despair ... anxiety ... constriction,
    There's no way to escape,
    All hope is lost.

    My ears are blocked,
    Forced to be deaf.
    A fine-grained silence,
    Not a sound can be heard.
    Fear ... despair ... anxiety ... constriction,
    There's no way to escape,
    All hope is lost.

    My nose is blocked,
    Forced to be anosmic.
    A fine-grained void,
    Not a scent can be smelled.
    Fear ... despair ... anxiety ... constriction,
    There's no way to escape,
    All hope is lost.

    My mouth is blocked,
    Forced to be mute.
    A fine-grained congestion,
    Not a word can be spoken.
    Fear ... despair ... anxiety ... constriction,
    There's no way to escape,
    All hope is lost.

    My skin is blocked,
    Forced to be numb.
    A fine-grained density,
    Not a thing can be felt.
    Fear ... despair ... anxiety ... constriction,
    There's no way to escape,
    All hope is lost.

    I'm drowning in a sea of sand,
    Chocked under a heavy burden.
    I stopped trying to get out,
    I am not moving at all.
    Fear ... despair ... anxiety ... constriction ... hope,
    My heart is slowing down,
    A cool breath fills my lungs.
    The way to escape is giving things time
    And maybe my senses will awaken again.


  • queenofhearts1491 121w

    A Perfect Lie

    "I thought there was more to you!"
    "You're the greatest liar I've ever met!"
    "Go to hell, you fake!"
    The messages added salt to her wounds, but still she needed to read them over and over again. Her mind was still struggeling to put the pieces together of everything that had happened last night. Turning 30 ... It was supposed to be the best birthday she had ever had, but instead it turned into a nightmare. Why did he have to show up on her doorstep on this special day?

    He, that was her father, who had been an alcoholic for as long as she could remember. Growing up as an only child in a very poor and cold surrounding. Her father jobless, her mother struggeling with a severe clinical depression that made her try to commit suicide at least twice a year, but still no one had helped her. Nobody was supposed to know about them. She was too ashamed and didn't want to be stigmatized.
    So she started to make up her own family just in case any of her friends would ask about them. Her father was an engineer working for a big company, her mother a doctor in a famous hospital, both very successful of course. She became popular quite fast, everybody liked her for her open and warm personality, her charm and her cheerfulness, so she kept up the facade.
    Middle school, highschool, college ... everything passed by without anyone noticing her true family background. She became an expert about making up excuses why no one could visit her home or why her parents wouldn't pick her up from school or never showed up at any of her theatre performances. She would just say they had guests over at their place or they were too busy with their jobs. No one doubted her for a second. They didn't know she maintained three jobs at once to earn enough money to keep up with a wealthy teenager's lifestyle or that her bruises weren't caused by a bicycle accident, but by her father's hand.
    Starting university, it was her chance to get out and as far away as possible from her family. Finally, she thought, she wouldn't have to make up stories and excuses anymore. But of course her new friends also asked about her family, so she went back to her old habits.

    The years passed, she was part of a very wealthy, yet superficial, group of friends which was really stuck-up and would look down on anyone who was less successful than them. Glamorous parties, luxurious clothes, expensive cars, all this became the center of her lifestyle. She felt like she had finally found her place, that she belonged somewhere, that she was so much better than her parents. Who would have thought that a woman with her background could ever make it this far?
    So for her big birthday she wanted to throw an extraordinary party, she deserved it after all. A famous DJ, a cool location, delicious food, everything was set up perfectly at its place. All her friends were around, dancing, drinking, having a lot of fun ...
    Until the door opened and a small man with greyish hair and ragged clothes entered the room. He looked like a homeless, clearly drunk, observing the room like a maniac. And then he found her, holding her gaze with so much hatred in his eyes ... It was her father. "So this is what you have made of yourself? Fleeing home, abandoning your parents for a bunch of rich ass-kissers? You are a disgrace to our family! We have always been hard-working people and no snobby assholes! It's good that you left!", he shouted across the room. Then he stumbled, grabbed hold of a table and turned it upside down, the glasses clashing and breaking on the floor. Everything fell silent. All of her friends were watching the scene, some shocked, some puzzled. Then suddenly her father turned around and left the room as fast as he had entered it, leaving an unpleasant tension all over the place. She didn't know how he found her. All this time she had thought that she had hidden her traces very well.
    "So this was your father? He didn't look like a doctor!", one of her friends laughed, but she couldn't answer, she was paralized, in shock. "I can't believe it! You have lied to us all those years? Screw you, I am out of here!". And one by one they left. She didn't even try to stop them, there was no way. She couldn't speak or move a muscle. The rest of the evening was kind of a blur, she couldn't remember much about it anymore. After a while she took a taxi to get back home and went straight to bed, just wanting to forget about everything that happened and she sank into an uneasy sleep.

    When she woke up the next morning, she was still wearing her golden Prada dress, yet she felt like she didn't belong in it anymore. It felt like a piece from another life. Her true self had been exposed, her life was scattered like a house of cards.
    After a while she managed to get up and looked into the mirror. There she was, a fragile mess with dark shadows under her eyes. Who was this stranger staring at her? She couldn't tell anymore.
    Then she walked over to her warderobe full of clothes that still had their tags on. She had never worn them because deep down she didn't care about all this luxury. Everything that mattered to her was having a place where she belonged, something she had been looking for all her life. But she was afraid to attract people like her father, the only person in this world that she never wanted to see again, if she was being honest about her family background. She was aiming for a better life, not considering money, this was never important to her. Security, trust, understanding, honesty, those were the values she was truly looking for.

    There she was with her empty suitcase full of memories, memories of the lie she had lived for so many years. Reconsidering everything that had happened yesterday, she didn't want to go back there. If her friends were giving up on her just because she didn't belong to a wealthy family, they probably never were true allies anyway. Maybe it was time for a new beginning, accepting her roots and being proud of who she had become. She was still an intelligent, determined and successful woman after all.
    With a smile she opened her suitcase to release her old memories and create some space for her new ones ...


  • queenofhearts1491 121w


    The Key to understand Depression
    is not about telling them
    "There is a light at the end of the tunnel".
    It is about exploring the Darkness
    with them.


  • queenofhearts1491 121w

    A Walk along the Riverside

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With clear water flowing through its land.
    Just listen to its sweeping sounds,
    Like a symphony of a bright blue,
    Splashing against small stones.
    A calming melody,
    So beautiful and pure.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With an azure sky shimmering above your head.
    Just watch the illuminated clouds,
    Like puffs of white magic,
    Passing by at their own pace.
    A soft invitation,
    To follow their floating journey.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With a fresh breeze wavering through the air.
    Just feel it messing with your hair,
    Like nature's cool breath,
    Asking you to join its play.
    A mesmerizing mixture of scents,
    Of clear water and wildflowers.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With rays of sunlight brightening the day.
    Just feel their warmth on your skin,
    Like the comforting touch of a loved one,
    Making you feel safe and understood.
    An affectionate hug,
    You don't want to miss.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With trees made of a luscious green.
    Just listen to their leaves whispering in the wind,
    Like a choir of a million voices,
    Telling secrets from long forgotten times.
    A group of soft giants,
    Who has witnessed so much.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With wildflowers blooming along the way.
    Just smell their enchanting scent,
    Like an exotic composed perfume,
    Reflecting their soft beauty and innocence.
    A rush of colors,
    Both fragile and strong.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With agile fishes swimming in the water.
    Just watch their small family passing by,
    Like a horde of children,
    Enjoying their each and every move.
    An energetic game,
    To awaken their animal spirits.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With a butterfly sitting on your hand.
    Just observe its bright shining colors,
    Like an old master's painting,
    Breathing nature's spirit through its lungs.
    A brief encounter,
    Before it leaves, goodbye.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With wild birds flying high above in the sky.
    Just listen to their cheerful songs,
    Like a vibrant choral singing,
    Inviting you to dance and feel free.
    A sweet promise,
    Of a peaceful and secure future.

    Let me take you to the riverside,
    With all its beauty and enchantment.
    Just embrace nature with all your senses,
    Like an escape from your daily race,
    Giving you hope and time to breathe.
    A decent offer,
    That it's your chance to take.

    ©queenofhearts1 491

  • queenofhearts1491 121w

    The Asteriod

    Harbinger of our doom,
    Hurtling through space,
    The asteroid is here too soon,
    Extinguishing our safe place.

    A small rocky luminary,
    From times we weren't even alive,
    With forces so extraordinary,
    No creature on earth can survive.

    The universe is fighting back,
    There's no reason to deny,
    Soon the world is painted black,
    And we will be nature's prey.


  • queenofhearts1491 121w

    The Puzzle

    The puzzle of my life
    Lying scattered on the floor.
    Some pieces broken,
    Some pieces lost,
    Turned into a giant mess.

    "Just replace them",
    Others will say.
    I wish I knew how,
    I wish I knew a way
    To put them back together.

    I am trying every day,
    Frustration is rising.
    Feeling lost,
    Feeling useless,
    Just want to throw it all away.

    The pieces just won't fit together,
    Maybe they don't belong to me.
    Being part of someone else's puzzle,
    Being way too big for me,
    No way to solve this misery.

    So I take the ones that go together,
    Not many but it's still a start.
    Put them in a box to keep them,
    A treasure for a brighter future,
    Promising better pieces on its way.


  • queenofhearts1491 122w

    A Mysterious Dream

    The painting was yellowed with rounded edges. It was a masterpiece and it was lying in my hand. Wait ... have I stolen it? I don't remember ... All I could think of was a mysterious dream in which I got caught up last night ...

    There I was in a room filled with darkness, surrounded by a heavy silence that muted even the sound of my own body. My breath, my blood, my heartbeat, everything seemed to be gone.
    And then suddenly there she was. A glimpse of light in the middle of this void. A young woman, just standing there, looking over her shoulder. Her lips parted as if she wanted to speak, yet frozen in the moment, just gazing at me. Her beauty was shining like a pearl in the dark and endless depths of the ocean. Her silhouette, a playful game of lights and shadows, captivating me. I didn't dare to approach her, I didn't feel worthy, so I just kept staring. Inhaling every detail of her.
    The blue turban that was as blue as the sky on a sunny day, with its falling light golden sash like a ray of sunlight as majestic as the ones a queen would wear.
    The bright mustard-colored coat with its white collar, letting her elegancy shine even more.
    The white pearl earring glistening on her left ear that was still nothing compared to her grace.
    Her skin, so light and smooth, utterly perfect, as soft as a cloud touching my cheek, so alluring but yet so far.
    Her eyes like a greyish haze that I could get lost in. Her gaze, so mysterious and intense like a mixture of fragility and strength, asking to step closer but to keep the distance at the same time.
    And finally her lips, a soft red, innocent and tempting. Stout, soft, sensual, but I wouldn't dare to touch them.
    She was like a poem painted into the shape of a woman. But it wasn't just her beauty that captured me.
    She was clearly not a lady, rather a maid, but still full of elegance and pride. Her pose, her gaze, both rather brave and confident. They made it obvious that she was born into a state, but this young woman wasn't willing to fit into it. They spoke of intelligence, curiosity and boldness. She was ready to conquer the world and with all this, she had more charm than a princess could ever have.
    I didn't know her name or where she came from. All I knew was that I wanted to stay with her there in this moment. There, in this void, she made me feel alive. I could feel my breath, my blood, my heartbeat.
    But suddenly I was swallowed by darkness again, driving me away from her, leaving me powerless and unable to get back to my precious pearl. Despair got hold of me. I wanted to scream to stop all this, but my voice was muted ...

    Then I woke up, breathing heavily. It took me a while to realize that it was just a dream. My mind still seemed to be stuck in darkness. As I got hold of my body again, I realized there was something lying in my hand. The painting of my precious pearl ... I don't know how it got there.
    How was this possible?
    Was my mind playing tricks on me?
    Or ... Wasn't it a dream at all?


  • queenofhearts1491 123w


    Tick tock goes the clock,
    Tick tock, it's time to take stock.

    Time is relentless,
    It makes us feel lost
    Like a cruel thief
    Robbing what matters most.
    A silent killer
    That can not be stopped,
    Not by law,
    Not by breaking the clock.

    Tick tock goes the clock,
    Tick tock, it's time to take stock.

    Time is irreversible,
    There's no need to regret,
    Like a bird flies above
    Leaving shadows where it led.
    A small reminder,
    But nothing more,
    You can not move on
    With the past off your shore.

    Tick tock goes the clock,
    Tick tock, it's time to take stock.

    Time can be wasted,
    It can slip out of hand,
    Never to return
    Like small grains made of sand.
    A creeping deadline,
    A non-flexible bond
    Leaving never enough time
    For all the nothings you want.

    Tick tock goes the clock,
    Tick tock, it's time to take stock.

    Time can be controled,
    It can mean so much,
    If we use it as a tool
    And not make it a crutch.
    A blank page
    For us to fill in,
    It is us who make changes,
    Not an overriding thing.

    Tick tock goes the clock,
    Tick tock, it's time to take stock.

    Time is elusive,
    Whoever we are,
    We reach it the same rate,
    We all get this far.
    An absorbing time machine
    Leading back and forth it seems,
    One side is called memories,
    The other is called dreams.

    Tick tock goes the clock,
    Tick tock, it's time to take stock.

    Time is priceless,
    You can get it for free,
    It is your chance to use it,
    But you won't own it with fee.
    You can't be its keeper,
    It's just there to spend,
    But once you have lost it,
    Things will come to an end.

    Tick tock goes the clock,
    Tick tock, the time is up.


  • queenofhearts1491 123w


    Her eyes gleamed with the light
    Of her inner strength,
    She had walked miles,
    Not worried about the length.

    Telling her she couldn't do it,
    She was a woman,
    She was weak,
    But who cares about gender,
    When she's determined to seek?

    She had always been a brave one,
    A fearless captain,
    Making up her mind,
    Though all she was expected
    Was being beautiful and kind.

    Her journey will continue,
    Not planning to stop,
    No matter what they tell her,
    She is never giving up!