I scream and scream My throat raw with the stings your name alone leaves behind As it makes it's escape into the wild wind masking my pleas Once again I'm stuck in this web of memories you poisoned with the smears of my own blood Forced to relive every painful slice to my heart your so-called love caused Why do I always find myself right back in this tradegy Trapped in a twisted fairytale you long since threw away without a single care Cursed to live out my darkest of days here with no way out
I long to be that whispy flower growin carefree in the backyard With stick like petals full of dreams and wishes Swaying independently in the wind Watching the array of rainbow balloons make their escape Helium filled things too eager to be tied down Floating towards the sky's luring promise of an everlasting life
For I'm weary from being that beautiful scarlet flower thriving vainly in the garden With petals so delicate yet so lush everyone wants a touch Posing perfectly for all who walk by to admire Judging the balloons for daring to run away Helium filled things that should've been proud to have been wanted Floating towards the sky's deceit that will only leave them deflated
Within him I've uncovered December's harshest of winds Whisking away the sanity I grasp desperately for Like the Autumn Leaves Struggling to hold onto the outstretched arms Of their old mothering tree
For the skies once called out to me "Avoid that boy's icy charm; He'll freeze you like the poor pond waves under your feet Praying for the sun to appear and melt away their cold prison So that they may run wild and free like before"
I should've heeded the pleas Instead I stayed rooted like the dandelions dancing in your backyard While you turned me into the sand on this isolated beach Watching me gradually disintegrate under your flip-flops with every crash Of this starving sea's bite Sneering as my every fragment rapidly fades away Like the screaming stars above Right before the smiling sunrise comes to take them away once more
*Sexual Assault Trigger Warning read at ur own risk*
I'm nothing more than a mere painting Tarnished by your touch You took all these beautiful colors I once harbored Splattered them across my canvas Ruining the once beauty and brightness of my soul Now when I look at this art I call my body I see nothing more than the scarring smears you left behind Forever taunting me Always reminding me that my purity was never truly mine to hold
I may have invented a new shinier copy for my lover to now hold But you'll forever possess the original One that still beats for you so For my heart is not torn in half I simply own two One for each soulmate My second was crafted for him My first was always meant for you
In the folds of October's sapphire pleated skirt runs an archived tale of us, In zig zags of cave paintings, fanning wide like a peacock's feather, immortalized on red spit charcoal and mud, And God knows then, I had an unfettered wing for a limb, and an unhooked spine unrushed, gliding in sync with you on the dreamy lush of a twilight embracing an ember studded sky.
Autumn is as much a passing dream as Winter is an uninvited guest sipping on black dregs of melancholia and regrets, Burying hand stitched leaves of our psychedelic love in alien sheets of ice and frost. When the snow seeps into the roof of my naked shoulders, your furlough goodbyes that lodges deep into the doorknob of my heart, fester and wounds, like bullets fired point blank and the holler of a moribund echo recants.
I sit bereft of words now, And from the casket of ancient yesteryear's flutters the forgotten wings of an unweighed heart, waiting for the stroke of your thumb on my eyebrows and let loose my frowns into smiles. I sit bereft of words now, Waiting for the familiar touch of your warm hands to turn the doorknobs and usher the gold of Autumn in. I have never said it loud, never once in words, But God knows, the world was kinder when I had you by my side Then, I had lesser scars to sew.