There's a sadness in me that makes me want to hide into the softest of shoulders and cry all night. I don't want to keep me so vulnerable but something in me doesn't know how to hide. I get sad often and stare blankly at the skies for hours. I'm a playlist on repeat that never heard of another song. I've been in love with the same old poet and the same old poem that tugs my heart. I dream of same old dreams ought to be broken. I wish for same old love to break my heart. I'm only chaos and confusion, tears and desolation. I am not meant for anybody to keep me close. I am only a fleeting seasonal flower made to love once; and when withered in the autumn, forgotten amongst all things dead. I ask for nothing, for I know that you'll tell me that I am the one who makes myself distant when you come with love to my door. I too am eager to tell you how lonely I am inside this dark little house and how I crave for sunset and romances like any another heart. But I hold myself; for I know of all the silences that'll be followed after I tell my tragedies . I know you won't want to stay any longer; for you will have no words of comfort nor any magic to heal me.
And thus I would say, on days when I am distant, keep me away from you as I keep myself away from all of you. We'll save each other from all the tragedies that the wind could carry from dark grey sky of mine to the azure sky of yours. We'll save us from all the despair I have in my soul, For I don't want you to know that pain That's all too familiar.
Oh yes, I still want to cry on a shoulder all night, But I know of the trails my tears will leave behind And I know of all the things that'll go on in your mind.
I know looking at the autumn leaves falling in sunset look pretty, but tonight, I want to walk with you under the yellow streetlights and tell you that I'll be there with you even when everything's not as pretty as the sunset; That I'll walk with you in the dark and together we can watch the fall of misery whilst watching the love grow infinitely - through all the chaos. I'd want to take you home tonight. And if there isn't one, we would build one, Out of remnants of hope and love, We would make it happen before the dawn, for we are meant to stay together anyway. I would want to keep you protected The way clouds do to the moon and sky.
Pick up all of your grief and come to me. I know of not many ways to make them disappear But I'm willing to keep half of it or more, If that's what makes you smile besides all of the storms. Don't keep yourself lonely in that rain, I'd always want to listen to your stories of nostalgia Amidst the faint sounds of thunders and lightnings.
Through all of these; The ups and downs, The constancies and changings, I'd want to keep you with me The way the moon and stars, Are kept by the sky.
I'm so sick for not getting over all the things I should have been over with. My heart winces with a pain as if it has lost a home to the storms. My poetries are done with the saddened plots; they wish to see breezy spring skies and not the bleak winter rains.
It's been a while since I had abandoned my poetries. I remember it was a sad night and I didn't want to scatter my melancholy anymore. I had promised them, that I would heal and come back. And once I come back, I would be a merry sunflower. Yet, here I am, all the same.
Where must you be at ease to leave me behind in such a mess? I wish to go there and bring me peace too, And I won't bother to hold you in my memories anymore, Because all I wish for now, is to erase you forever Without shedding tears anymore.
It was neither in your intention, nor my choice. It was in the wind that felt cold which struck me with a realization of an echoing emptiness residing outside and within.
The stars that look like pieces of glass, once in a while falls over the horizon of an abandoned desert, So worthless, when devoid of eyes that admires its beauty, Same as the heart; so languid, when devoid of love.
This, the world of love, Onism a constant incompleteness, You, a permanent scar on my memory, And things like these - etched on grief; too hard to be talked about, Yet too often grieved upon;
I'm afraid, most of all, Of an infinite half, that can never be whole.
Blurring hopes decay your heart, yet you tell people, love is what keeps you alive. Grief of love weighs heavier than the happiness. Broken dreams make you cry instead of the ones you never dreamt about. And you tell, dreams are what keep you alive.
Life must have a sardonic algorithm. Ready to fill your heart and emptying it, as if it were its favourite pastime.
In every sunset, I see myself drowning within the depth of oceans, and pieces of me scattering away with the evening breezes. Somedays, I feel, that's how it'll stop. When I'll vanish in parts, and nothing would remain to bother me anymore. Yet every midnight, the grief swims out of the ocean, and sleeps peacefully by my side, keeping me awake.
Ma, move, will you? The flames are not reducing so, should I make some chapatis today? Oh, no, don't worry I won't burn my hands for protecting our burning home. One more wall has fallen down, Ma, but three are still standing there, so it is still a Home. Look at the stars, the sky has always been our ceiling, isn't it? We are privileged, Ma. So, get up, we have so much flour tonight - flour enough to make us believe that our appetite is satisfied. I promise to tell you I'm full, right after finishing my plate half. Ma, move, will you?
Can you hear the sounds of siren and noise of the crowd? Water splashing - so much water, Ma, so why did you wake up to walk miles for it? The crowd is alarmed, they are crying, Ma, why? oh, for you cried yesterday night? They are all here, Ma, to see you, and me, and our burning home. They are good people, Ma, they will wake you up from your sleep. I know they made you sleep, they were ignorant, Ma, but they are here now, so move, will you?
Our home, till few hours before could not even afford a candle in the dark, but it is illuminating the locality now, you see Ma? The home of darkness is the source of light, let us be proud tonight. The fire is still dancing on the broken floor, Ma, are you still sleeping? You say two chapatis are enough for you, there is too much black flour from the fire, will you eat three today? People out there are in fear, Ma, your sleep scares them, why? Is it because they did not hear your cries but can hear your pale silence? People are weird, Ma, they are shouting and asking me to leave you here and come out. Eyes that were ignorant to us are showing pathetic pity. I'm going to make chapatis, Ma, move now, will you?
* GLOSSARY * : Sublime - divine, Stain - Any bad colour or discredit, Lone - Alone, Voyager - Traveler, Stuck - Not able to move, Tattered - Torn, Yearn - Strongly desire, Solitary - Alone, Sonnet - Poem, Engraved - Design words on a surface, Tarnished - Lose lustre, Bookmark - A narrow piece of card, Cologne - Scent, Bookmarked - The page which is marked by a Bookmark, Reminisce - Talk about pleasant things that happened in the past, Eloquent - Expressive, Embracement - Hug another person in the arms with Love * ---------------------------------------------------------- @miraquill@writersnetwork@writerstolli@writersbay
I loved you at midnight, When the notes and sheets lay astrew around your side of the bed. You were teaching me Chemistry, remember? I haven't forgotten that lesson till date. You looked up at me, "You should sleep. You're tired." You said. It's true, I was tired, but you were the early riser : How were you up so late? "I am not sleepy at all", you said, rubbing your red eyes.. And we lay down and spoke till 3am instead. I know you were up again at 7, the next day.
I loved you at 7am, The heavy and late sleeper in me was waking up mysteriously at 7 everyday. It was not a waking up to wake up in reality, I just couldn't wait to see the morning text I knew you would have sent me. You never missed it, no matter how terribly underslept you were.
I loved you at noon, When I was all sweaty from the summer sun But you still hugged me tight Putting your hand around my shoulders, kissing my wet forehead The heat remained the same, but I felt a zephyr The moment your lips brushed mine.
I loved you at 8pm, When you asked me what I would like to eat You knew my favourites and you took me on a date At home, but date, nevertheless I know you were tired, I could see it in your eyes But you would smile and say, "I am not. What do you want to do after this?" We lay talking and playing our games till 2, We laughed, our souls heard it too.
I loved you at 3am, When you laid your head on my lap And in your sleep, I heard you mutter how much you love me. You told me not to leave, said that you would be lost without me. I kept my word and I sat there, as you drowned into deep slumber I kissed your forehead and your cheek, Without waking you up, I kissed your eyelids. And as I lay there beside you, watching you breath slowly I knew I loved you Every second of my being.
The other day someone approached me for a hug and instantly, as if in a reflex, I recoiled. I stepped back, crossed my arms in front of my chest. And it wasn't until I saw the expression of confusion and shock on the face of the other person that I realised... what I had done, wasn't normal. That's not how people react to the invitation of a hug. And it left me wondering for the rest of the day... what was it that I was trying to protect... was I holding any secrets or was I afraid of my wounds beginning to weep... by the warmth of another human's closeness. What was it that I wanted to stay shielded. Why was I so afraid of and averse to the idea of someone getting close to me. The night went by silent. I got no answers. Or maybe I did. Maybe I'll be able to put it to words or express in tears... next time someone approaches me for a hug.
" there are no walls between and no bones caging us, so let's be the crescendo of a waterfall, let's dive deep inside this sea of anonymity and explore shells within, that hide pearls familiar only to each other. there is no light to showcase insecurities so take off your masks and let me smoothen your scars. there is no voice inside that lures to seek out more, so let's find what's right here betwixt out breaths. there's no time ticking away our life in this drunk crepuscule, so let this moment seep into infinity, just you and me shapelessly bleeding love "
~ too late 3 am blues | 3 /
" there's a hollow in my heart, mould stuck on crevices which you came and thrashed with pumping blood. all I feel when I look at your eyes, is how it glides through my veins - this feeling of thrill, of being alive. i'm too scared to name it, call it l _ _ _ , lest it'd disappear like a marish flutter of florescent flamed fly. i gave it your name, three syllables to fill my past, present and future. one day, I hope it's not too late, when you know you have a home in someone's heart, stay there and be a shade sheltering their hope. there just can't be another me "
~ too quiet to ring alarms | /
" it was me, all of the times. the one you searched for in the faces of crowds. a dream boat, I am not. not as tall as your aims, not as deep as your dreams. not as bright as the sun you rival, not as glee as the blooms you bouquet. but I'm the one you have been waiting for. to waltz away woe in each other's arms, to sway in the sea breeze where tides would take away forlorn memories, to chatter till night fades and glitter as light takes over. I want you to be mine, so selfishly. it won't hurt anymore, I swear on my life. i want you more than the air stuffed around, so come give me a lungful of your breath "
~ too scared to spill secret | ' /
" we were too good to be true, you and me. too close to be crossed, yet too far to be framed. we spend all our lives within feets apart distance. now you're six feet under and I'm sinking deeper. was this the green you dreamed of ? but it's on the other side of life, where you aren't breathing and I'm left to choke on unsung prophecies. the grass under my feet is too cold to grow, the sky above my head is too far to reach . but if one of those stars could catch a wish, I'd be right there with you, lying in a box and unboxing my heart "
~ again, too late to live | /
/ I lie here, counting sheep but already put to sleep regret eating up what's left of me in the dirt, that I couldn't see you, despite facing your light all I wish is for love to grow a voice and grab a life, unlike you and me... as your voice blurs into sobs /